Just because they're blood doesn't mean they're family, and just because they're not blood doesn't mean they aren't family.
We used to deal with the holidays every year. When we lived in dayoop and in Wisconsin I used to throw the boss' car on my car hauler so when we got to my parents she could dart off to her busted-ass family. We both scattered around trying to see everyone for Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter. Only rule has ever been is that we see my parents on Christmas and their birthdays (both a couple weeks either side of Christmas). My wife's family is huge and a clusterfuck. Zero planning, and since we've always been the furthest that live from wherever they decide to host they seem to always assign us the hot food while someother dweeb gets to bring cookies or a pie. Always pissed me off that I'd have to get out the inverter to run a heat in the car.
I remember one time we had to drive back to Wisconsin on Christmas Day because the shitbag HVAC company my wife worked for wouldn't let her have the 26th off. Fastest we ever made that trip, I had the cruise set at 75 through downtown Chicago (45mph) and a cop passed me. i think we averaged 77mph for that 360 mile trip.
When we moved back to Michigan, we'd host stuff once in a while for her parents (divorced but they got along). Eventually her Dad stopped showing up. He'll drive his punk-ass all the way out from wherever (currently Harrison Township) to within 10 miles of our place to go buy clay for pottery but never stops by. I can't remember the last time he was at our house. Probably whenever it was we took care of him after his open heart surgery. So I don't bother even trying with him, the only time I usually hear from him is when he has car problems. Thankfully this time he got a Ford so I don't have to deal with it. When we do go see him I drag my ass going as much as possible because I don't really care to hear about pottery (works at Pewabic), delusional Democrat politics and how awful whichever Republicant he thinks of that day, etc.
Her Mom's family is a hot mess (scattered all over, fighting over who hosts what and who is invited, bleh) ever since her Grandma died. While I hated driving up to lovely BFE at the tip of the Murder Mitten, it was easy. Stayed in a fleabag motel. We'd loiter on Black Friday to hang out with her Grandma while all the others scattered like cockroaches.
Nice thing is we can usually fake it and say we're sick now and not have to show up to anyone's family gathers on her side. Not like they're going to show up and check on us. Since our dog is old and feeble, if it's far away (they tend to want to do shit in Port Austin which is a miserable drive) I use the excuse someone has to watch the dog.
Her Dad's family is all messed up since the last parent died. So none of them talk to each other... they died, their spouses died, or they moved away. So that's easy, nothing to do there but feel a little bad for her Dad and her jobless brother because their situation is pretty lame.
We've lived in our house for 12 years last month and I still have some relatives that have never been to my house that I know drive by regularly. I have a cousin who I grew up with that drives by my house at least monthly to visit her in-laws. She has two of four kids I've never met, because she never shows up to family gatherings.
I spent a fortune to have a kustom Amish table made so we can host family gatherings. Our house isn't really ideal for it, but it's very open inside and there is plenty of shit to do outside. I think the last time we put any of the 4 leaves in it was 2018 for family. However, in 2019 I had my old boss from Wisconsin stop by with his family and we got it out then.
Her Mom, and sometimes Stepdad, come and stay with us around the holidays. They live in Commiefornia these days. They're easy to get along with. Genuinely appreciative people. Her Mom will be staying with us for a few weeks around Christmas.
The pandemic has been great. It allowed me to shed so many "obligations". Some people call it being a scrooge. You've got one life to live, I say why waste it on a time vampire.
Enjoy your holiday!
