Random Thoughts
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Sorry to hear. Hang in there.......
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Thank you for your support guys.
I lost my dad 3 years ago last Christmas. All of a sudden out the blue he passed away. We had a family gathering with everyone there a week before Christmas. I wanted to go over and see him a few days after our gathering but I got busy and told myself I'll go tomorrow. Well tomorrow never came. The next morning my brother called and said we lost dad last night.
He had been showing signs of dementia for a few years. He hid it well but mom knew he wasn't right. Mom would tell me he was getting worse even with meds and said she didn't know how long she could care for him and that it would really mess him up if he had to go into an assisted living facility. Well he never made there.
I had stuff to talk to him about but never got to it. So now I carry this burden of issues that a father and son should discuss but never did. I have tried over the years to have those discussions but it never happened, usually because he had a few too many beers and I wouldn't even attempt it. He was never really trashed drunk but just enough to make him numb but not there enough to have a serious talk. His loss was a shock but it never really hit me, until now.
Fast forward to the loss of my mom. She developed small cell lung cancer last year. We saw her last February before covid and that was the last time I saw her in person. She had a persistant cough that she told the doctor about which the doc just brushed it as a smokers cough, which she was. But mom said its a different cough. i mentioned for her go go to the walkin clinic and see the doctor there. He sent her down the hall for an xray. Called her up the next day and told her that it looked like cancer and sent her to the cancer clinic in Windsor. They diagnosed her with small cell lung cancer. She fought cancer really well. Chemo she went through like a champ with very little side effects. The doctors and nurses helping her through this were amazed she did so well. The border has been closed to all non essential travel which prevented me from crossing. We have talked on the phone plenty but no face to face contact. Real bummer.
For the past few months she has been not feeling well getting dizzy and blood pressure not regulated even on meds. She ended up in the hospital for a bladder infection that they treated but she did not respond well. They did a cat scan and found her cancer had returned. Stage 4. I did have a great facetime visit her last week. She was happy to see me with a big smile on her face and quite talkative. My brother saw her the next day and said she was confused and mostly sleeping. He said he wished he had my visit.
After applying to border customs to cross for end of life visit did not get approved before she passed, now the application to attend her funeral...it's a waiting game now. Funeral is Saturday. Pray my paperwork gets cleared for my wife and I to cross the border.
Thanks guys
I lost my dad 3 years ago last Christmas. All of a sudden out the blue he passed away. We had a family gathering with everyone there a week before Christmas. I wanted to go over and see him a few days after our gathering but I got busy and told myself I'll go tomorrow. Well tomorrow never came. The next morning my brother called and said we lost dad last night.
He had been showing signs of dementia for a few years. He hid it well but mom knew he wasn't right. Mom would tell me he was getting worse even with meds and said she didn't know how long she could care for him and that it would really mess him up if he had to go into an assisted living facility. Well he never made there.
I had stuff to talk to him about but never got to it. So now I carry this burden of issues that a father and son should discuss but never did. I have tried over the years to have those discussions but it never happened, usually because he had a few too many beers and I wouldn't even attempt it. He was never really trashed drunk but just enough to make him numb but not there enough to have a serious talk. His loss was a shock but it never really hit me, until now.
Fast forward to the loss of my mom. She developed small cell lung cancer last year. We saw her last February before covid and that was the last time I saw her in person. She had a persistant cough that she told the doctor about which the doc just brushed it as a smokers cough, which she was. But mom said its a different cough. i mentioned for her go go to the walkin clinic and see the doctor there. He sent her down the hall for an xray. Called her up the next day and told her that it looked like cancer and sent her to the cancer clinic in Windsor. They diagnosed her with small cell lung cancer. She fought cancer really well. Chemo she went through like a champ with very little side effects. The doctors and nurses helping her through this were amazed she did so well. The border has been closed to all non essential travel which prevented me from crossing. We have talked on the phone plenty but no face to face contact. Real bummer.
For the past few months she has been not feeling well getting dizzy and blood pressure not regulated even on meds. She ended up in the hospital for a bladder infection that they treated but she did not respond well. They did a cat scan and found her cancer had returned. Stage 4. I did have a great facetime visit her last week. She was happy to see me with a big smile on her face and quite talkative. My brother saw her the next day and said she was confused and mostly sleeping. He said he wished he had my visit.
After applying to border customs to cross for end of life visit did not get approved before she passed, now the application to attend her funeral...it's a waiting game now. Funeral is Saturday. Pray my paperwork gets cleared for my wife and I to cross the border.
Thanks guys
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2,276 Posts
I certainly hope your request is approved, I'm sorry for your loss.
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9,822 Posts
X2. That would be very upsetting if you could not attend her funeral.
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Man Aber, that sucks. I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through. I hope your pass gets approved. God bless.
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9,151 Posts
You got that right, this does suck. Everything about is all messed up.
We did receive approval yesterday afternoon. I wasn't sure we would because Ontario is going into a lock down because they have a spike in cases. But I am very grateful we are allowed to cross. I was kinda surprised because of the new restrictions but still grateful.
The funeral home has restrictions as well. 20 people per visit, then the next group of people to come through. And no drinks or coffee, water, tea or food. In other words no mingling or hanging around. I mentioned to my brother that maybe this summer if restrictions are lifted to have a family get together(celebration of life) this summer.
The paperwork also noted that we can stay up to a month. Which I don't really need to. I will wash the place down, clean the gutters and paint the front porch which I had plans on doing last year but tight border restrictions prevented any crossings at all.
I might end up painting the inside as well. My brothers and I will sell my mom's modular home which is in a park. Should not have any problems selling because the market over there is on fire. My brother seems to think it could turn into a bidding war. Which is good to know. Will see how much a single wide will bring.
I would like to thank everyone here for the prayers and support for my family and myself. Thank you, It means a lot.
I was thinking the other day that as long as some of us have been here on this site, going back and forth on many different topics and issues. It reminds me of "family" and I do appreciate everyone of you guys for all the dialog and great conversation. Some good some bad and some, just "like are you kidding me". But that's what family does. We do seem to come back and encourage and support each other when we need it most. You guys are all in my prayers as well.
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Home inspector: "the nursery walls should probably be repainted"
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