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8,287 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How many hours of productivity are lost to this stuff? I bet no one does this at home.

When an airplanes nearly collide in mid air, why is a near miss instead of a near hit?


Can you cry under water?

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?


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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
 

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ASSHOLE
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932 Posts
All great ?'s and points..:sonicjay: :sonicjay:

It was on the new's last week that the average person waste's 1.7 hour's in a 8 hour day fuggin around online..
 

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47 Posts
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

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No.
 

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Registered
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9,864 Posts
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons


This should not be a question . It is a statment .
 

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Money pit
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2,382 Posts
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

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:sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay:
 

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Buy a Fiat! Save the UAW!
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14,442 Posts
How many hours of productivity are lost to this stuff? I bet no one does this at home.

When an airplanes nearly collide in mid air, why is a near miss instead of a near hit?

A: the air traffic controlers are "Optimists"!


Can you cry under water?

A: don't know but I have heard a dog fish bark!

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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


A: somewhere above Firefighter :poke:

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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

A: My piggy bank

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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

A: If that was true then many folk would be running around up there in suit coats and no slacks.

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

A: round boxes were to expensive. so the square became the cheapest to use.

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What disease did cured ham actually have?

A: Tricnosis.

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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

A: who said we did? haven't you ever seen steamer trunks? many came with wheels.

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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

A: I think most do sleep like a baby ... they drool and burp and fart while sleeping...pretty much sums it up.:stan3:

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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

A: yes

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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

A: most people went to theaters to veiw people in a Movie. now most people Flip on the TV to see the samething.

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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

A: point of veiw

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Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

A: beleive it or not they are imbarrest to watch most folk, they prefer you do it on your own.

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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

A: Bra only covers one pair of breasts(singular) and the Panties cover two seperate sets of things :poke:

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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?

A: ausmption... many people enjoy the burnt offerings from the toaster as it does settle peoples stomachs to some extent.


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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

A: unknown :miff:

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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

A: no

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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

A: if you were an avid watcher you would have seen the fact a storm swept away the SS Minnow the following day after they were stranded

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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

A: Walt's dead get over it.
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

A: consider what was avalable in the desert back the`60s? there was very few fast food joints let alone take out Chinese food.

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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

A: :miff:

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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

A: yes

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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

A: pretty close

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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

A: I'm bored :woot:

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

A: consider that a Hemmeriod is ussally orbiting Uranus!

note: you should beware of anythiing entering that solar system as it ussally causes major crater damage.

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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

A: They're dogs, they don't know any better... plus it allows them to spread drool down the whole side of your car.
 
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