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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The following are statments left between the pilots for UPS and the ground crew that make aircraft repair . P is the pilot S is the reply from the mechanic after the corrections were made . :tonka:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.



P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.



P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.



P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.



P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.



P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.



P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.



P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.



P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.



P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.



P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.



P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.



P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.



And the best one for last..................



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.
 

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Retired double dipper
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984 Posts
Always funny, but I believe it is a list of Navy aircraft write-ups

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
I doubt this is a UPS write-up

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
To my knowledge, only miltary aircraft have DME and TACAN
DME stands for Distance Measuring Equipment.
It is used in conjunction with TACAN
TACAN stands for Tactical Air Navigation

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
Again, IFF is only used in military aircraft
IFF stands for Indentification Friend or Foe
 

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Your Message Here
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5,856 Posts
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
I concur with Rick. UPS planes don't have IFF transponders.

Still entertaining every time I see it. :sonicjay:
 

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Rubber Side Down
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267 Posts
No the target radar is standard equipment for UPS to deal with the increased competition from Fed-Ex......i heard it was air force...any way you look at it, it is still funny
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
beats me , came in an e mail and said UPS . Guess i never seen that one before and thought it was funny .
 

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Home Sweet Homicide
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I haven't read those in a while. Funny. Thanks for the laughs Grand!
 

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Doctor begins with D.O.
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:sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay:

I don't care if its UPS, USAF, or navy...it's still funny!

Thanks you made my day
 

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Always funny, but I believe it is a list of Navy aircraft write-ups


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
To my knowledge, only miltary aircraft have DME and TACAN
DME stands for Distance Measuring Equipment.
It is used in conjunction with TACAN
TACAN stands for Tactical Air Navigation

DME installed on almost all aircraft in the world one of the most basic of navigation equipment installed on aircraft
 

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1,253 Posts
Always funny, but I believe it is a list of Navy aircraft write-ups


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
To my knowledge, only miltary aircraft have DME and TACAN
DME stands for Distance Measuring Equipment.
It is used in conjunction with TACAN
TACAN stands for Tactical Air Navigation

DME installed on almost all aircraft in the world one of the most basic of navigation equipment installed on aircraft


Until the 80's.
 
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