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The N3rd
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5,871 Posts
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
 

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O.G.
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4,287 Posts
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
 

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The Man Myth And Legend
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5,133 Posts
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
 

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Feel lucky?
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5,147 Posts
nice
 

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Premium Member
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9,000 Posts
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
 

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The N3rd
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5,871 Posts
Chuck does his own top 10...

I know this has been posted before but its appropriate.

 

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Home Sweet Homicide
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3,685 Posts
Someone here had a link in their sig about Chuck. At one point in it it said:

"Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed."
 

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Your Message Here
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5,856 Posts
Chuck Norris once walked off cancer

Dinosaurs are not extinct - they're just hiding from Chuck Norris
 

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O.G.
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4,287 Posts
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
 
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