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Pew pew!
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Today's current item's story:

We Wanted To Start This One With A Great Big O But The Censors Said We Couldn’t

Once upon a time, wootie-pies, there was a handsome young man who came upon an iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220. The iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220 could sense and find dirt, provide up to 120 minutes of cleaning power, recharge in three hours and was smarter than any regular vacuum, yet was lying there, unable to move. The young man looked down, and saw that the iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220 was caught on a piece of a pizza box that was smeared with peanut butter and cat hair. The young man clicked his tongue with pity and helped the poor Roomba free. It did not say thank you or look back, it merely rolled on, cleaning the forest and heading toward the recharge station it called home. The young man went along his own path as well.

Years went by, and the young man was now old, and had also somehow been captured by bandits! The bandits threw the old young man into a pit full of sharp sticks and poorly stuffed bean bags. They yelled from above and threw inexpensive cheese at his face, as bandits often do. From deep in the dark corner of the pit, the old young man heard a rumbling of stair-sensing technology coming to lif, and he trembled as it began moving through the Virtual Walls that kept it in check, growing closer and closer to him…

It was the iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220 he had rescued all those years ago! Surely, he thought to himself, surely it will repay my kindness today! But no, my friends, the iRobot Roomba Discovery SE 4220 simply rolled over him without remorse, pity, or any spark of good intentions whatsoever, as though he were just another dust bunny. And that brings us to our moral, wootie-pies. For now you understand why all of nature abhors a vacuum.

:sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay:
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