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The toasted one
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656 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
ok....heres whats been going on in my life right now and do not know what to really do...

In Feb i proposed to Ally. She said yes... We told her parents about 2 weeks later when they came up to visit her because she had a band concert at her college. They were just shocked and then just congrats us.

but after this is when all the trouble started.....
They started to email her...call her....and come visit her yelling at her saying that im just brainwashing her, shes not thinking straight....its too soon to be engaged...and the list goes on..:chiefwoohaw:

now she moved back into their house for the summer....big mistake...thankfully she got a job up in Interlochen Fine art camp starting in June.

so we went to her minister questioning how to deal with her parents...doing the responsble thing and trying to make things work with them....He told us to have them write up a list of their real concerns and then have me and ally go somewheres and discuss the list then go back to her parents and explain to them why these concerns should not be a problem.

we told them to write up a list..and all they wanted to do is yell...im suppose to go back over either this thur. or sometime next week. hopefully they do that but i dont believe no matter what we do...they wont approve this.

me or ally can not understand what the real problem can be how we plan to NOT get married till we get done with college...and i have 3 years left and she has 2. So shell be able to find a teaching job while im still in school and im going into computers so im veristal to basically get a job anywheres..and if i cant im not shy to do any job needed till i can find the career...

im mainly just trying to blow off some steam..but if anyone have any ideas what i/we can do to help make things better i would appreciate it.
 

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Get off my lawn.
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3,692 Posts
1. Pics of Ally
2. How old are you?
3. How long have you been dating?
 

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Banned
Joined
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20,292 Posts
get a new gf?
 

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Premium Member
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14,643 Posts
seems young to me, but people know at different times.

i would recommend talking to them
 

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atv rider
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6,556 Posts
go to a bar with said parents ... walk up to biggest dude in bar and whoop his ass ... after that shoot a crazy look at them and run out of the bar screaming. i can guarentee they wont give you shit ever again
 

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The toasted one
Joined
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656 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
1. Pics of Ally
2. How old are you?
3. How long have you been dating?
1. isnt needed lol:stan:
2. Im 21 and shes 22
3. we have been dating for over 2 years.
 

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Full taste of tender
Joined
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5,373 Posts
F' em...... joking.

If you two are that serious in your relationship - don't let the parents bother you. You are both adults, and they are probably just worried about giving up their little girl, and since you're both still in school - they think you're rushing into things, yatta yatta - normal parents concerns. just don't let it bother you. In the next 3 years prove to them you two are serious about the marriage and they will accept it. jsut my .02
 

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The toasted one
Joined
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656 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
well i didnt ask the father first..cuz they try and control ever lil thing of her life....every time she does not do one thing they dont like...they threaten to stop paying for her college and EVERYTHING else.

and i dont feel making them think they are going to have control over me too.
 

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atv rider
Joined
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6,556 Posts
that why you need to kick some ones ass in front of em ... gain some street creds life is like gta some times ya gotta kill people some times ya gotta bang a hooker is a shitty old under a overpass then kill her to get ur cash back
 

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The toasted one
Joined
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656 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
F' em...... joking.

If you two are that serious in your relationship - don't let the parents bother you. You are both adults, and they are probably just worried about giving up their little girl, and since you're both still in school - they think you're rushing into things, yatta yatta - normal parents concerns. just don't let it bother you. In the next 3 years prove to them you two are serious about the marriage and they will accept it. jsut my .02
yea...well about 3-4 months ago they told Ally she should think about finding someone else cuz i dont have money....and neither do my parents....:miff:
 

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The toasted one
Joined
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656 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
that why you need to kick some ones ass in front of em ... gain some street creds life is like gta some times ya gotta kill people some times ya gotta bang a hooker is a shitty old under a overpass then kill her to get ur cash back
i think you have been playing to much GTA...lol
 

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The toasted one
Joined
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656 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
That is likely a big part of your mistake.
well i do really love her..and im sticken this out no matter what i just want to be able to make things better with her parents at least a lil for at least Ally....shes been getting all depressed/angry all the time lately cuz of how her parents are being.

just grab another beer i guess for now.
 

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Countryboy
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1,599 Posts
I don't understand why they are so mad. Engagement is nothing more then a contract between to people. Stating that eventually on a date that the two of you pick out. The two of you will start your life together for the rest of your lives. Just because your engaged now does not mean your going to run off and get married tomorrow. All it states is that you and your gf are planning on living the rest of your lives together. I think they need to lighten up. It sounds like they don't even know you very well.

Maybe you should give the future inlaws som insight on how you plan on caring and supporting your future wife which happens to be there daughter. Give them an idea of your plan 5 year plan.

On the other hand if they don't lighten up just tell them you two went and got married already. I suggest you do this on mothersday.
 

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Do it in the mud
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1,973 Posts
yea...well about 3-4 months ago they told Ally she should think about finding someone else cuz i dont have money....and neither do my parents....:miff:

I hate that. I take it they have money? You just need to prove that you can suport her and that money isn't every thing. It sounds like you both will have pretty good jobs when you finish school.
 

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The toasted one
Joined
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656 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
Maybe you should give the future inlaws som insight on how you plan on caring and supporting your future wife which happens to be there daughter. Give them an idea of your plan 5 year plan.

On the other hand if they don't lighten up just tell them you two went and got married already. I suggest you do this on mothersday.
that sounds like a great idea on the 5 year plan..that might get them calmed down for a week or so...ill talk to ally about that tomorrow...man...the mothersday idea is a WONDERFUL idea..but ally would never go for it....

i could understand them acting this way much more if we were planning to get married soon..but its 3 years from now...
 

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The toasted one
Joined
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656 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
I hate that. I take it they have money? You just need to prove that you can suport her and that money isn't every thing. It sounds like you both will have pretty good jobs when you finish school.
yea....they got money....their parents had money...and so on....every time we try and expailn anything her mom starts screaming and waving her arms like shes a puppet and someones above getting attacked by killer bees....i think thats the only thing im able to think when shes doing that...that keeps me from yelling back at them...i just let her do her thing and try to get 2 words in...a calm way..but normally dont have anytime for anything to truly say to her.
 

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Cadillac pimpin
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3,632 Posts
I went through a similar situation a year or so ago.

I ran like hell, and never looked back.
 
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