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Just a good ole' boy
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well i'm 18 and have become friends with my neighbor who is 17. Me and her started hanging out by just swimming around in my pool and just hanging out. Her parents told her that she wasn't aloud to hangout with me anymore because i'm not a avid church goer. Well anyways, we been meeting up for dinner, or movie and what not, and have become pretty serious. We haven't done anything bad yet, except kiss and whatnot, but tonight she had a bonfire at her house. I was invited, and her parents were alright when i showed up. When it got dark out she kissed me and her mom saw. Her mom then bitched her out. I'm not sure where to go as of right now. Shes still got a year of highschool so its not like we could runaway or anything. I'm just asking if anyone had a prior relationship like this, and how it ended up. Should i try to speak with her parents? Tell em' how i really feel? Or just wait and see where it leads?

And, yea i know this isnt the best place to ask for personal advice but i really have no idea what to do. So why not. no pictures like trailrangers wife will be added to this tread. :sonicjay:
 

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On second thought maybe you should tell her you are willing to do whatever it takes to get in her parents good graces, but she is going to have to give it up to make it worth your while.

Man this is getting romantic.
 

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Just a good ole' boy
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
haha thanks for the advice, ive offered to go to church with her, but id feel like a creep if i went to their church for a sunday. Do u think that would be creepy if i just showed up at her church?
 

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Do you go to church at all? Do you believe in God? It sounds like her family is really religious (SP).

Are you out of school and what do you do? What are your future plans?

Do not sneak around trying to get together with out her parents knowing as it will just make the situation worse when you get caught, not if, and her life will be hell at home.

Start going to church with her and her family on whatever day they celebrate. If you are not their religion, are you ready to convert to it?
 

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Just a good ole' boy
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Do you go to church at all? Do you believe in God? It sounds like her family is really religious (SP).

Are you out of school and what do you do? What are your future plans?

Do not sneak around trying to get together with out her parents knowing as it will just make the situation worse when you get caught, not if, and her life will be hell at home.

Start going to church with her and her family on whatever day they celebrate. If you are not their religion, are you ready to convert to it?
I used to go to church 3 days a week, now with work im lucky if once a month. Yes im out of school and i plan on attending Ferris State University
 

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just the fact that i have never gone to their church, and them seeing me there after all this
I used to go to church 3 days a week, now with work im lucky if once a month. Yes im out of school and i plan on attending Ferris State University
Try and talk to her parents, with her there, and explain about how you used to attend church but with your work right now it is difficult to get the time to go, and ask if you can attend thier church with them when you can. Tell them of your plans to go to collage and what you hope to do in the future. Good luck.
 

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just the fact that i have never gone to their church, and them seeing me there after all this
look at it this way, they know you want to see their daughter, they know why they said you cant...you going to their church should show the parents that you are willing to do whatever it takes, so obviously must care about the daughter...personally, I would think not going would be a mistake if you really are serious

just dont think it will be a one time thing, you will have to go every week, and actually pay attention
 

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haha thanks for the advice, ive offered to go to church with her, but id feel like a creep if i went to their church for a sunday. Do u think that would be creepy if i just showed up at her church?
just the fact that i have never gone to their church, and them seeing me there after all this
Coming from a Stand point of a Christian (I'm assuming you're talking Christian Religion) I would never see someone coming to church as creepy. I think You'll find that most churches are very willing to let you come and, believe it or not, be very friendly.

I used to go to church 3 days a week, now with work im lucky if once a month. Yes im out of school and i plan on attending Ferris State University
Ferris State has a Ministry on thier campus called His House Christian Fellowship. It's a great ministry and going to it could put you on her parents "good side". If it's anything like The MSU Chapter (I've been part of it for 7 years) you'll have alot of fun no matter what you believe. Very open to talking about things and, for ours at least, they have alot of Activities to just hang out. <<Shameless plug, I know.

My One suggestion is to try single life at College. It's a sad statistic to hear from your stand point but I would say over 60% of High school Romances fizzle with in the first Year (If not semester) of college. That's just a Personal Observation. There are always Exceptions. I always tell people to make sure they are happy with thier single life before they get too serious with a Girl friend or Boyfriend. Going to college, especially in the first few years, is the time where you will have the least amount of responsibilities with the least amount of people controlling you. Being In any kind of dating relationship will make that time more difficult for you. Use it as a Time to Identify who you are, and if you are a Christian, who God wants you to be.

The other issue, if you don't want to believe what she believes, is that, if she's Christian, her holy book says not to be "unevenly yoked" with an unbeliever. That means don't date/marry someone that won't believe in the same thing you do. It makes sense both Spiritually and Logistically. As far as sex goes, I'll just say don't do it at all. Any Dating relationship should be about the person your dating and not about you. If you have sex with her and she believes in the teachings of the bible it will haunt her for quite a while. That being said, if you really care for her you'll spare her and you, if you believe, the one life lesson learned the hard way. <<That's just my, biblically backed, opinion.

It may seem like I'm writing a book but I deal with these kind of things on a yearly basis in our ministry. Not only that but I've also been through it, like just about everybody.
 

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If you are not a religious person then yes, it is very creepy if you go to her church. You're still very young man, there are plenty of fish in the sea and most of them wont make you put a jesus fish on your trunk.

You might think this will develop into a serious relationship but you both are too young too even know what that entails. Live your life a bit, go to college and enjoy that experience to the fullest. You're only 18, and I'm only 25 so I still remember growing into adult hood fairly fresh. Hell, I'm still learning.

Seriously, forget her and move on. If its real she will still be there when you graduate from college and have some life under your belt. I promise that you are throwing your life away if you actually get serious with her at this age. I was "in love" with a few girls by the time I could legally drown my sorrows.:sonicjay: We aren't creating homesteads anymore and divorce rates are rising every day, don't be another statistic.
 

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< see avatar.
 

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Size Matters (.)(.)
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Do not sneak around trying to get together with out her parents knowing as it will just make the situation worse when you get caught, not if, and her life will be hell at home.

Start going to church with her and her family on whatever day they celebrate. If you are not their religion, are you ready to convert to it?
Thats not bad advice, but a serious comittment. Not sure if he is ready for that, still too young IMO.
 

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Lots of girls at Ferris man. And who knows whether or not she will go to ferris or somewhere else. Dont sweat it, if she wants to see you she will, I wouldnt go and become a serf to her parents just yet.
 

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I was thinking about this for a while this morning. my Grand mother was a devout Cathlic. she married a Protestant guy and walked away from HER religion. we as a family were all raised Methodist and now my sister has went and become Cathlic again. seems that She will come to you if she wants. don't make it hard on yourself. secondly if she does make sure she doesn't hold it over your head.
 
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