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circling the drain
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35,863 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Costco and standing
In line at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat
one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
Because I had been poisoned.

I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my
balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
Hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid Lady...why else would I buy dog food??
 

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Kitten I'm gonna eat you!
Joined
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3,754 Posts
Holy shit! Can't Breathe, Can't Breathe!!!!
:sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay:
 

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Captain of my pants
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4,159 Posts
hehe, that is funny stuff right there
 

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HURL SCOUTS
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10,007 Posts
she deserved it
 

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Got spicy flies?
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1,927 Posts
:sonicjay: :sonicjay: :sonicjay:
 

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Just The Spouse's spouse
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1,885 Posts
Why do you lick your balls? That's gross!
 
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