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·
NSFW
Joined
·
2,239 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
2009 LIONS SCHEDULE
> >
> > September
> > 13................ Taft Junior High School
> > 20................Cub Scout Troop #101
> > 27................ Detroit Blind Academy
> >
> > October
> > 04.................Spanish American War Vets
> > 11................Crippled Childrens Home
> > 18................ Eloise Mental Hospital
> > 25................Girl Scout Troop # 353
> >
> > November
> > 01.................. Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
> > 08.................Fraser Boys Choir
> > 15.................Korean Amputees
> > 22................. National Hospital Pastorial
> Ministers
> > 26................. Great Lakes Synchronized Swimming
> Team
> >
> > SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
> > December 08.................. Grand Rapids Gay Boys
> Club
> >
> > RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
> >
> > 1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not
> > disconnect knee
> > braces.
> > 2 - When playing the Blind Academy , the Lions must
> not
> > hide the
> > football under their jerseys.
> >
> > ** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
> >
> > 1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over
> the
> > goal .
> > For all you Lions fans that have never seen this) it
> is
> > still worth 6
> > points.
> > 2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at
> all
> > times.
> > 3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band
> > members at
> > anytime.
> > 4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed
> to 3
> > for the
> > opposing team.
> > 5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each
> gain
> > of three yards
> > or more, instead of the usual ten yards.
> >
> > ** NAME CHANGE **
> >
> > The Detroit Lions will be changed to the "Detroit
> > Tampons" as they are
> > only good for one period
> > and have no second string.
> >
> > ** PLAYER CHANGE **
> >
> >
> > Field goal kicker will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky.
> > She will no doubt blow a few, but she certainly
> won't
> > choke on the big
> > ones!!!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
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5,232 Posts
Looks to be another tough season for the Detroit pussycats.

Maybe have a chance against the Korean Amputees, but will be close.
 

·
Big Block Ranger
Joined
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2,698 Posts
Oh great... another 0-16 season is on the horizon.
 

·
NSFW
Joined
·
2,239 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
When posting email forwards please take the time to do a find and replace of ">" with " " so it doesn't look so obvious. Even then, it probably still isn't funny.

Thanks,

Management
Wow, I might even lose a little sleep over that....hope being witty's working out for you. Go fuck yourself
 
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