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Old January 30th, 2008, 04:00 PM   #1
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Default For those that don't know about history...... here is a condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was inventedto get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning ofthe Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, Lineman and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world history.......It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off....
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Old January 30th, 2008, 07:20 PM   #2
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too many words all in a row =(
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Old January 30th, 2008, 09:37 PM   #3
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Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was inventedto get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning ofthe Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, Lineman and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world history.......It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off....
That's pretty funny. I'm a liberal. I'm not angrily responding. I'm quite succesful, exceptionally hard working, and can wrench, saw, hammer, build, plumb, wire, troubleshoot, fell and buck a tree with a chainsaw, fight and f*(k with the best of them.

I provide for my family better than a LOT of people, pay my bills and my taxes, have excellent credit, never collect unemployment (because I always make sure that I'm multiskilled and highly marketable), am competitive and driven to win.

I can out debate, out philosophise, out think and outsmart most people I come across, and since I work with people with postgraduate degrees that's no small feat, considering I never made it through the tenth grade, dropped out of high school, started working right away, and joined the Army when I was 17 years old to serve my country where I received an honorable discharge.

I can drink most people under the table and still drive them all safely home and get back to my place without crashing or getting arrested, have an outstanding driving record, VOTE, follow politics very closely, am well versed in government, politics and world affairs.

I believe that our country, the only one of over 35 industrialised nations still not doing it, is more than able to provide excellent health care to all of its citizens. Since I don't hunt, I have no reason to own a firearm because the only other reason I can see that anyone would want one is out of fear, and I'm not afraid. Go ahead. Break in to my house. I'll bust a chair over your head and kick the living shit out of you. Disrespect my wife or try to harm my family and I'll beat the hell out of you or die trying, because I am willingto go all the way.

Most 'conservatives' that I have met don't even know what it means. They THINK they do, but when challenged to define they fall pitifully short.

As a liberal I believe that this country belongs to the people. True conservatives (like the Bush's and Reagans of the world) believe that it belongs to 'free enterprise', which is being wiped out by corporations (notice any Target, WalMart, McDonalds, etc in your neighborhood?).

By the way, you mention that among conservatives are corporate executives.... Well, guess what?

I can converse with highly technical professionals on subjects from CNC machining technology to web-based mechanical automation systems to the electrical power generation infrastructure of high-rise office buildings, to the financial reporting and budgeting of a multimillion dollar facilities operation, negotiate contracts for everything from services to large construction projects, manage projects, and walk a job site and lead multidisciplinary crews from foundation to finish.

The best part of all this is that I know many people like me, and those that are actually INFORMED and have studied a bit are as 'liberal' as me.

I would be surprised if you could, without looking it up, name our Secretary of Defense, or our Attorney General, or even your state senators. Do you even know who your congressperson is?

Conservatives... Give me a break.
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Old January 30th, 2008, 09:53 PM   #4
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^^Serious Much? It's a joke. It's funny. I got a chuckle out of it.

Don't be So defensive. You can be the smartest, MOst popular, well informed, Patriotic, nice all-around-Guy in the world and still not get a joke?
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Old January 30th, 2008, 10:02 PM   #5
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^^Serious Much? It's a joke. It's funny. I got a chuckle out of it.

Don't be So defensive. You can be the smartest, MOst popular, well informed, Patriotic, nice all-around-Guy in the world and still not get a joke?
Don't worry, he's not as smart as he thinks he is.
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Old January 30th, 2008, 10:06 PM   #6
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^^Serious Much? It's a joke. It's funny. I got a chuckle out of it.

Don't be So defensive. You can be the smartest, MOst popular, well informed, Patriotic, nice all-around-Guy in the world and still not get a joke?
I got the joke just fine, and I even said at the start I thought it was funny. Typical 'conservative' response when their assertions are shot down in flames though. Now THAT'S funny!
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Old January 30th, 2008, 10:19 PM   #7
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Don't worry, he's not as smart as he thinks he is.

You're right, I am not as smart as I think I am. Was there some point you were trying to make, or were you just :chiefwoohaw:
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Old January 30th, 2008, 10:21 PM   #8
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X is not amused.
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Old January 30th, 2008, 10:27 PM   #9
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That's pretty funny. I'm a liberal. I'm not angrily responding. I'm quite succesful, exceptionally hard working, and can wrench, saw, hammer, build, plumb, wire, troubleshoot, fell and buck a tree with a chainsaw, fight and f*(k with the best of them.

I provide for my family better than a LOT of people, pay my bills and my taxes, have excellent credit, never collect unemployment (because I always make sure that I'm multiskilled and highly marketable), am competitive and driven to win.

I can out debate, out philosophise, out think and outsmart most people I come across, and since I work with people with postgraduate degrees that's no small feat, considering I never made it through the tenth grade, dropped out of high school, started working right away, and joined the Army when I was 17 years old to serve my country where I received an honorable discharge.

I can drink most people under the table and still drive them all safely home and get back to my place without crashing or getting arrested, have an outstanding driving record, VOTE, follow politics very closely, am well versed in government, politics and world affairs.

I believe that our country, the only one of over 35 industrialised nations still not doing it, is more than able to provide excellent health care to all of its citizens. Since I don't hunt, I have no reason to own a firearm because the only other reason I can see that anyone would want one is out of fear, and I'm not afraid. Go ahead. Break in to my house. I'll bust a chair over your head and kick the living shit out of you. Disrespect my wife or try to harm my family and I'll beat the hell out of you or die trying, because I am willingto go all the way.

Most 'conservatives' that I have met don't even know what it means. They THINK they do, but when challenged to define they fall pitifully short.

As a liberal I believe that this country belongs to the people. True conservatives (like the Bush's and Reagans of the world) believe that it belongs to 'free enterprise', which is being wiped out by corporations (notice any Target, WalMart, McDonalds, etc in your neighborhood?).

By the way, you mention that among conservatives are corporate executives.... Well, guess what?

I can converse with highly technical professionals on subjects from CNC machining technology to web-based mechanical automation systems to the electrical power generation infrastructure of high-rise office buildings, to the financial reporting and budgeting of a multimillion dollar facilities operation, negotiate contracts for everything from services to large construction projects, manage projects, and walk a job site and lead multidisciplinary crews from foundation to finish.

The best part of all this is that I know many people like me, and those that are actually INFORMED and have studied a bit are as 'liberal' as me.

I would be surprised if you could, without looking it up, name our Secretary of Defense, or our Attorney General, or even your state senators. Do you even know who your congressperson is?

Conservatives... Give me a break.
go smoke some more pot you filthy hippy.
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Old January 30th, 2008, 11:01 PM   #10
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You're right, I am not as smart as I think I am. Was there some point you were trying to make, or were you just :chiefwoohaw:
No, not really.

As I mentioned in another thread, you're a walking/talking contradiction.
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Old January 31st, 2008, 07:02 AM   #11
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Wow.... You amaze me with your intelligent and substantive discourse. I wish I could think of such powerful and convincing things to say. I am humbled by your statements of fact and your brilliance in supporting your statements. If I were you, I would consider getting a real job where I used my brain.

If I'm so contradictory, please, enlighten me and show me where.
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Old January 31st, 2008, 07:02 AM   #12
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go smoke some more pot you filthy hippy.
Ummmmm.... Huh?
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Old January 31st, 2008, 07:12 AM   #13
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Ummmmm.... Huh?
exactly what a stoned out hippie would say.
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Old January 31st, 2008, 08:20 AM   #14
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exactly what a stoned out hippie would say.


Goodbuzz, Your a very smart person, and I know that from reading all the stuff from before. It's just that it seems that almost every single post you make either states your opinion (even though it may not be wanted) Or is talking down to some one. Sometimes both. It gets a old after while.




Getting ready.
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Old January 31st, 2008, 08:43 AM   #15
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Wow.... You amaze me with your intelligent and substantive discourse. I wish I could think of such powerful and convincing things to say. I am humbled by your statements of fact and your brilliance in supporting your statements. If I were you, I would consider getting a real job where I used my brain.

If I'm so contradictory, please, enlighten me and show me where.
We've been down this road before with your predecessor. It's like fighting your way out of a bottomless bowl of jello.

You're right.....I'm wrong.....you're smart.....I'm dumb.

Ok, it's over, I'm exhausted.
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Old January 31st, 2008, 08:44 AM   #16
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Goodbuzz, Your a very smart person, and I know that from reading all the stuff from before. It's just that it seems that almost every single post you make either states your opinion (even though it may not be wanted) Or is talking down to some one. Sometimes both. It gets a old after while.




Getting ready.
You better be carefull or he will hit you with a chair after he drinks you under the table. As stated he's better than most at pretty much everything. While he does support his family/Country I'll say He has a Conservative heart and liberal mind.......Follow Your heart goodbuzz.
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Old January 31st, 2008, 08:51 AM   #17
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Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was inventedto get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning ofthe Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, Lineman and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world history.......It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off....
it's thinking like this that lead poor white people to vote republican, along with blindly following religious leaders, which is completely against their economic interests...
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Old January 31st, 2008, 09:10 AM   #18
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Goodbuzz, Your a very smart person, and I know that from reading all the stuff from before. It's just that it seems that almost every single post you make either states your opinion (even though it may not be wanted) Or is talking down to some one. Sometimes both. It gets a old after while.




Getting ready.
You're right, but in any other forum that would not be the case. If you go back to the 'Forums' page you will note that the "Politics, Religion and Government" section also says "Bring your flamesuit!". This is the place for such dialogue/behavior. I certainly wouldn't do that if we were talking about differentials.

There's a time and a place for everything.

BTW: During the debates about the bible and such, the vast majority of my posts were questions, not statements. Did you happen to notice that?

Finally, I'm sorry if I offended you or put you off. I'm sure you're a very nice person, as am I. It was not my intent to do so. I was responding to the post with the same bravado and BS that it was expounding. Tit for tat. had the poster come off with a different attitude about libs and repubs I would have taken the same tone.

Again, I'm sorry if you are put off, hope you'll understand, and look forward to more debate AND friendly conversation with you.
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Old January 31st, 2008, 09:18 AM   #19
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it's thinking like this that lead poor white people to vote republican, along with blindly following religious leaders, which is completely against their economic interests...
Hey Mike are you "AGOODBUZ" as well? Do you really need two screen names.

Lighten Up people, Group Hug.
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Old January 31st, 2008, 09:34 AM   #20
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We've been down this road before with your predecessor. It's like fighting your way out of a bottomless bowl of jello.

You're right.....I'm wrong.....you're smart.....I'm dumb.

Ok, it's over, I'm exhausted.
"Predecessor"?

You made a remark, I responded. You want to quit, that's fine too. Thanks.
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