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Old January 22nd, 2008, 02:35 PM   #1
MUDFLAPS
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Default Benefits of Being a Woman

We got off the Titanic first.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Free drinks, free dinners.

We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay.

We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.

We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 02:46 PM   #2
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Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.


I have to disagree

Stan looks pretty hawt in a nice red dress and heels
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 02:48 PM   #3
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i call b.s on #17
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 02:48 PM   #4
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But you still have to pull strings.
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 02:55 PM   #5
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men dont have to put there feet up in stirups. and get poked with weird objects..we also dont have to put a 6 inch cotton wad in our bodys. to keep us from bleeding to death for 7 days..
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 03:03 PM   #6
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men dont have to put there feet up in stirups. and get poked with weird objects..we also dont have to put a 6 inch cotton wad in our bodys. to keep us from bleeding to death for 7 days..
Hey, maybe they LIKE putting their feet up in stirrups.... I'm just saying.
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 03:34 PM   #7
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It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.


We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

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Old January 22nd, 2008, 03:34 PM   #8
MUDFLAPS
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men dont have to put there feet up in stirups. and get poked with weird objects..we also dont have to put a 6 inch cotton wad in our bodys. to keep us from bleeding to death for 7 days..
A six inch cotton wad?

Your girlfriend must be REALLY blown out. You should get that shit fixed :tonka:
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 03:38 PM   #9
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A six inch cotton wad?

Your girlfriend must be REALLY blown out. You should get that shit fixed :tonka:
haha, is ex used a pillow folded in half with a string tied to it:tonka:
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 04:19 PM   #10
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haha, is ex used a pillow folded in half with a string tied to it:tonka:
i need it to climb back out of your sister
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 04:22 PM   #11
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A six inch cotton wad?

Your girlfriend must be REALLY blown out. You should get that shit fixed :tonka:
So I Over-Exaggerated The Dimensions Of A Tampon...
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 04:26 PM   #12
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So I Over-Exaggerated The Dimensions Of A Tampon...
Like most guys do with the size of their penis :tonka:

NO WAY!!!

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Old January 22nd, 2008, 04:43 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by bigjay View Post
So I Over-Exaggerated The Dimensions Of A Tampon...
Quote:
Originally Posted by MUDFLAPS View Post
Like most guys do with the size of their penis :tonka:

NO WAY!!!

Point.
Set.
Match.

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Old January 22nd, 2008, 05:13 PM   #14
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HAHAHAHA I think the funniest part of this whole thread is that your handle is "MUDFLAPS!"

Is "MUDFLAPS" a nomenclature for "cameltoe" or "meatflaps?"

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Old January 22nd, 2008, 05:14 PM   #15
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HAHAHAHA I think the funniest part of this whole thread is that your handle is "MUDFLAPS!"

Is "MUDFLAPS" a nomenclature for "cameltoe" or "meatflaps?"

oh my god, i cant breathe from laughing so hard.
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 05:17 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigjay View Post
men dont have to put there feet up in stirups. and get poked with weird objects..we also dont have to put a 6 inch cotton wad in our bodys. to keep us from bleeding to death for 7 days..
that was a good comeback!!!
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 06:35 PM   #17
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I have to disagree

Stan looks pretty hawt in a nice red dress and heels
Thank you, it's not easy to pull off.
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 06:52 PM   #18
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We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

.... never seen my volleyball team then!!


It was funny to watch the boys at the Monster Truck show only be able to buy one beer at a time, while I got to walk away with two
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Old January 22nd, 2008, 09:05 PM   #19
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sexism, all of it
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Old January 23rd, 2008, 08:28 AM   #20
MUDFLAPS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by STOGIE View Post
HAHAHAHA I think the funniest part of this whole thread is that your handle is "MUDFLAPS!"

Is "MUDFLAPS" a nomenclature for "cameltoe" or "meatflaps?"

NO!!!!

I have chrome trucker girls tattooed on my lower back. :tonka:
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