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Old January 8th, 2008, 05:33 PM   #1
motrctyman
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Default Chuck Norris facts

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.html
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Old January 8th, 2008, 05:38 PM   #2
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chuck norris once beat a brick wall in tennis
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Old January 8th, 2008, 05:42 PM   #3
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Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. It's however many he say's.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 05:55 PM   #4
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Chuck Norris once ate two 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes doing the waitress.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he'll say, "Two seconds 'til." When you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" He roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T once walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 06:16 PM   #5
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YouTube Video
ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 06:19 PM   #6
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries.

Chuck Norris never wet the bed, the bed wet itself out of fear.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 06:21 PM   #7
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Will Chuck Norris blend??

YouTube Video
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HELL NO!!
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Old January 8th, 2008, 06:24 PM   #8
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 06:24 PM   #9
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everytime u masterbate chuck norris drop kicks a kiten into space..............
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Old January 8th, 2008, 07:07 PM   #10
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http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...arch&plindex=2
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Old January 8th, 2008, 07:48 PM   #11
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Chuck Norris ate BogginBoy and shit out a 75% off coupon.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 07:50 PM   #12
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If you spell "Norris" wrong your computer's spell check sends Chuck an email and you lose interweb privileges.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 07:51 PM   #13
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whem chuck norris says a tire is 37", its always 37".
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Old January 8th, 2008, 08:19 PM   #14
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hellen keller's favorite color is chuck norris.
Chuck norris once ate the whole birthday cake before someone could tell him there were strippers inside.
chuck norris refers to the grim reaper as a promising rookie
chuck norris is the reason waldo is hiding
chuck norris can believe its not butter
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo
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Old January 8th, 2008, 08:27 PM   #15
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Quote:
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Chuck Norris ate BogginBoy and shit out a 75% off coupon.
nice
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Old January 8th, 2008, 08:43 PM   #16
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do you know how Chuck Norris shaves?








he kicks himself in the face, cause only Chuck Norris can cut Chuck Norris.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 08:48 PM   #17
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Chuck Norris makes Cube kick his own junk.

(Does anybody even say that anymore?)
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Old January 8th, 2008, 08:52 PM   #18
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Chuck Norris' calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd....because nobody fools Chuck Norris.
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Old January 8th, 2008, 10:07 PM   #19
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Dinosaurs aren't extinct - they're hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once walked off cancer.
There is no evolution - just species that Chuck Norris allows to live (or not).
When Chuck Norris goes into the ocean, he doesn't get wet - the ocean gets Chuck Norris on it.
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