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Old June 21st, 2007, 04:03 PM   #1
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Default Meeting with preacher.. long

Im getting married in a couple months so we had our first meeting with the pastor of the church yesterday. Luthran priest, im catholic. Everything was going great untill the priest told me that it is more important for us to go to church on sunday morning than for us to spend time with my 80 yr old grandfather as we do on sunday mornings. Going to church on monday (this church has mass on monday evening) is not good enough for him.

Now im all god fearing n shit, i was baptised, confirmed. Been an alter boy. Spent my fare share of time in church. I do believe there is a god and respect that. I have not been to church in a long while.

Now back to the grandpa thing. My grandfather was my father by default. My parents got divorced when i was a baby and he took on that responsibilty. I lived at his house. That is my dad as far as i see it. He didnt have to do that.

I had my mouth open to dispute this church more important than gramps thing when i got a punch from the fiance to keep it shut.

? being,, WTF. I do understand the whole Everyone is related through Jesus and he is our father thing.
So am i wrong that i wanted to tell the priest he's an ass?
Somehow i feel a little bad that I wanted to throw one across the desk and just leave.
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Old June 21st, 2007, 04:08 PM   #2
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im grew up in the same catholic church environment as you..... 13 years of catholic school.........church every sunday, but the preists was always fuckwads........I say do whatch you gotta do to please the chick and then fukc the church bs
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Old June 21st, 2007, 04:26 PM   #3
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some faiths equate church attendance with salvation, not a good idea. But is IS good to be connected to a local body of believers, if you confess faith. maybe take your grandpa to church?
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Old June 21st, 2007, 04:35 PM   #4
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some faiths equate church attendance with salvation, not a good idea. But is IS good to be connected to a local body of believers, if you confess faith. maybe take your grandpa to church?
Thought of that. But gramps only goes to work and trap shooting on sundays. Literally thats all he wants to do. I've been real confused with the whole organized religion thing for a long time. I'm convinced that it is just another vehicle for the "im better than you" game. Convinced because ive have been a part of it and thats when i stopped going to church.
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Old June 21st, 2007, 04:58 PM   #5
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Going to church every week is supposed to strengthen your relationship with God. however, some people go to church every week and automatically believe they will go to Heaven, but you need to act the same in and out of church. so i believe it IS important to attend church but its not the end of the world. going on mondays seems good to me. My family and I go on Saturday nights.
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Old June 21st, 2007, 05:12 PM   #6
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Thought of that. But gramps only goes to work and trap shooting on sundays. Literally thats all he wants to do. I've been real confused with the whole organized religion thing for a long time. I'm convinced that it is just another vehicle for the "im better than you" game. Convinced because ive have been a part of it and thats when i stopped going to church.
You have to keep in mind that every church has a different culture, many are more relaxed than that.

I think it is great you spend regular time with your grandpa, but it does seem a bit odd that you are only willing to see him Sunday mornings, and vice versa.

I think you should be honest with the pastor and let him know what you feel uncomfortable with what he said. There is no particular magic about church on sunday mornings, my church used to meet sunday night because that is when our building was available for use. The point is not that you get a warm fuzzie or a gold star, the point is to be in a regular place of worship to connect with God and to connect with his people. If you did not visit your grandpa often, how strong would you say your desire for relationship is with him? Similarly, if you don't attend a worship service and be in connection with fellow believers often, that communicates something about your desire to be involved with the faith. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater just because some preachers are a bit picky. Maybe after the wedding feel it out for a while, and if it just does not fit, you may consider finding a church that has a different culture to it. Good luck
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Old June 21st, 2007, 06:05 PM   #7
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You have to keep in mind that every church has a different culture, many are more relaxed than that.

I think it is great you spend regular time with your grandpa, but it does seem a bit odd that you are only willing to see him Sunday mornings, and vice versa.

I think you should be honest with the pastor and let him know what you feel uncomfortable with what he said. There is no particular magic about church on sunday mornings, my church used to meet sunday night because that is when our building was available for use. The point is not that you get a warm fuzzie or a gold star, the point is to be in a regular place of worship to connect with God and to connect with his people. If you did not visit your grandpa often, how strong would you say your desire for relationship is with him? Similarly, if you don't attend a worship service and be in connection with fellow believers often, that communicates something about your desire to be involved with the faith. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater just because some preachers are a bit picky. Maybe after the wedding feel it out for a while, and if it just does not fit, you may consider finding a church that has a different culture to it. Good luck
Beat me with the fish. I do spend alot of time with him other than sundays. DIdnt metion that. The whole sunday thing has been the norm no matter what for a long time though. I just cant see church being higher than family. Unless the family is a f'up's. I guess what i mean is, i dont have to set up a meeting to talk to my mom. Family is always there, preacher and congregation are there on sunday. Or monday evening i guess..
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Old June 21st, 2007, 09:17 PM   #8
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take gramps to church with ya...problem solved
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Old June 22nd, 2007, 06:24 AM   #9
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Everything was going great untill the priest told me that it is more important for us to go to church on sunday morning than for us to spend time with my 80 yr old grandfather as we do on sunday mornings.
IMO, completely wrong on his part to say such a thing. Going to chuch more important than family? BULLSH*T!


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Now back to the grandpa thing. My grandfather was my father by default. My parents got divorced when i was a baby and he took on that responsibilty. I lived at his house. That is my dad as far as i see it. He didnt have to do that .
And for this, spending time with him IS more important than any church!

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I had my mouth open to dispute this church more important than gramps thing when i got a punch from the fiance to keep it shut.
Should have let it fly!


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So am i wrong that i wanted to tell the priest he's an ass?
Absolutly not!
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Old June 22nd, 2007, 06:32 AM   #10
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Thought of that. But gramps only goes to work and trap shooting on sundays. Literally thats all he wants to do.

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take gramps to church with ya...problem solved
Did you read the whole thread, or just the first post:tonka:
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Old June 22nd, 2007, 07:10 AM   #11
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I was married in a Lutheran church a year ago, wasn't too bad of an experience, although I can relate to what you're saying. The wife's pastor was pretty adamant about converting me too until I had a man-to-man with him about how my beliefs were different from the church's. I'm sure he was dissappointed but hopefully he can respect me for being honest.

Try and work it out with him but stand your ground. He just needs to know that you're confident in your beliefs. Don't throw books, swear, or hit him, that wouldn't serve the marriage too well

Just curious did they make you guys take a scan-tron type test?
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Old June 22nd, 2007, 08:45 AM   #12
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My sister kind of turned Lutheran and the rest of the immediate family is Catholic. This has really brought up the differences between the 2 faiths. From what I have seen....Lutheran pastors really frown upon people that miss a service. Catholics are more flexible with it. My niece & nephew have to go to service every week. If they go to our church up here, they have to bring back a bulletin to prove that they went to church for that week. I respect that, but that doesn't stop me from holding an opinion and thinking that it is weird, but I don't express that opinion to them. They just seem to be strict about being in church every single weekend of the year.
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