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Old April 4th, 2007, 04:14 PM   #21
tonybalido
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every foundation of a relationship can withhold itself with or without religious insight.

gman and miff's respect of differing beliefs would only prove to strengthen their marriage.

companionship cannot go without compromise.
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Old April 4th, 2007, 04:26 PM   #22
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Actaully dave her and i just spoke about this . Our differences have enver been a moments argument between us . In matters envolving the kids or in our personal live . Thats prove in the pudding , it is not an issue if you dont let be an issue .

Miff and i do every thing together , we are seldom away from each other , how much stronger and a relationship be ?

Our point is based on a proven relationship that your oppinion can not match sir .
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Old April 4th, 2007, 04:29 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Grandman View Post
Actaully dave her and i just spoke about this . Our differences have enver been a moments argument between us . In matters envolving the kids or in our personal live . Thats prove in the pudding , it is not an issue if you dont let be an issue .

Miff and i do every thing together , we are seldom away from each other , how much stronger and a relationship be ?

Our point is based on a proven relationship that your oppinion can not match sir .
go Marv! i was hoping I'd get some responses like this.
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Old April 4th, 2007, 04:40 PM   #24
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Dave if you are say Baptist and a lady is Jewish does this make her have less of a fondation then you ? Its still based on her bieleves yet i think you would run into more problems then say Miff and I setting morals for our kids and so on .

Let me tell you somthing , ill put my " morals " up against any man of faith . Iv been there and done it . 29 years faithful husband . Dad who never abused his children , all the things you would think a god fearing man would stand for yet i didnt need an excuse to be a nice guy . A good man is born not raised with some particular bieleve .

Marry for love , i dont give a shit what some book says nor what Dr Phil says
and theres why i ask marv for advice as much as i do
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Old April 4th, 2007, 04:43 PM   #25
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Ill point out some things in our relationship that i think are important given the fact Miff is catholic and i have my owns thoughts that do not envolve a god .

Miff once asked me if i cared if she attended church , answer NO i dont care . Then the priest wanted to meet and talk with me . Ok i went and talked with him for her . Thats not about me joining her thoughts , its about me giving and doing for my wife . There are several things in our house that would not be here if i was the home decor expert . Jesus hangs on our walls , Cross here and there . Im in no way offended by these and it gives her comfort . Whats to argue about !

When it came to the kids Jesus on the wall made a good reason for Miff to explain her religious thoughts to the kids which i never interupted or spoke against . When they ask me how i felt i told them my thoughts . All sides put on the table , let them pick there path in life . The job of a parent is not to create a clone but to guide a child in growth . That requies all knowledge to be laid out for them to view .

Ill make this short , perhaps it's the Indian in me . I am what i am , I am no better then the grass you walk on , i am a part of the earth not more not less . If you are a bum on the street or the president of the USA do not put your self above or below me for we stand on the same planet .

We were born and we will die just as the grass and trees and all living things . I as a human do not think i need or deserve a " special " place for me no more then the tree does .

If this person you speak of can be this way with you , understand your thoughts and never push his own then it is up to you to do the same and a life long love can come of this .
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Old April 4th, 2007, 05:37 PM   #26
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Ill point out some things in our relationship that i think are important given the fact Miff is catholic and i have my owns thoughts that do not envolve a god .

Miff once asked me if i cared if she attended church , answer NO i dont care . Then the priest wanted to meet and talk with me . Ok i went and talked with him for her . Thats not about me joining her thoughts , its about me giving and doing for my wife . There are several things in our house that would not be here if i was the home decor expert . Jesus hangs on our walls , Cross here and there . Im in no way offended by these and it gives her comfort . Whats to argue about !

When it came to the kids Jesus on the wall made a good reason for Miff to explain her religious thoughts to the kids which i never interupted or spoke against . When they ask me how i felt i told them my thoughts . All sides put on the table , let them pick there path in life . The job of a parent is not to create a clone but to guide a child in growth . That requies all knowledge to be laid out for them to view .

Ill make this short , perhaps it's the Indian in me . I am what i am , I am no better then the grass you walk on , i am a part of the earth not more not less . If you are a bum on the street or the president of the USA do not put your self above or below me for we stand on the same planet .

We were born and we will die just as the grass and trees and all living things . I as a human do not think i need or deserve a " special " place for me no more then the tree does .

If this person you speak of can be this way with you , understand your thoughts and never push his own then it is up to you to do the same and a life long love can come of this .


Thats just silly talk.
Your going to hell, you old bastard.
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Old April 4th, 2007, 06:19 PM   #27
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Our point is based on a proven relationship that your oppinion can not match sir .
Um... when did my opinion differ from yours?
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Old April 4th, 2007, 06:35 PM   #28
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Um... when did my opinion differ from yours?
Am i mistaken or did you not state that a relation ship where both had the same thoughts stands a better chance or makes a better fondation , that is what i disagree on .

I state we are prof that it makes no diff and even perhaps the difference makes the stronger base to stand on . Our difference on relgion makes a wider stance then one and some times narrow minded concept .
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Old April 4th, 2007, 07:12 PM   #29
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I don't think your opinion negates mine. I even conceded that not all couples need to believe the same thing in order to have a successful marriage. I think statistically, a couple has a better chance of success if they have similar beliefs. How could having similar moral beliefs make their marriage worse? I can only see it leading to their further unity in life and in decisions. I know that your wife respects your beliefs, but don't you think she would enjoy expressing her faith with you? (where the two of you enjoy serving/worshiping God together). I can only see that as a benefit, not a curse. I am not suggesting that things are bad beause of your difference, but I am suggesting that things would not get worse if your beliefs were the same.
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Old April 4th, 2007, 07:53 PM   #30
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There are far more factors present in the foundation of a marriage than religious views. Love is the base, but there is creed, culture, race, upbringing and so many more. I believe strong, unshakable love and respect for each other can overcome anything. A mix of any of these factors is certainly a challenge, but so are two people with identical factors...Marriage is a work of love in progress. I have seen just as many same faith/faithless relationships fail as those of mixed beliefs. It is really a matter of trust, commitment and respect between two people.

Personally, I believe where ever this kind of relationship exists, God is there.
Recognize Him or not... He is there.

My faith tradition has taught me that ALL FAITHS and ALL GOOD PEOPLE have truth to them.
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Old April 4th, 2007, 09:53 PM   #31
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Iv been giving this more and more thought .

Plus i dont have a 2 year old on my lap now

The evil queen makes a good point . In the case of Miff and i our commonality is more to do with where and how we were raised . I think these things factor into the longevity of our marriage . Miff and i had much in common simply do to being raised in the same small town and in simular situations . She was 17 and I 16 when we started dating , in a sense we grew into adult hood as a couple . If we were from different geological areas or race we would have less common ground to have formed our relationship .

Ill further point out ( to Miffs disslike ) I never consider our relationship permanent . Any relationship regardless of its longevity is subject to failure if one or both drift to far from each other . If you doubt this look up the average and maximum age of people getting a divorce .

Heres somthing to vasilate over Dave . I assume you and your wife have the same basic faith . Your marriage began with that faith in place for both of you . Assuming im correct what negative impact would it have if one of you lost your faith ? This happens in life often due to loosing a loved one such as a child .

Ill put this in opposite terms for Miff and I , seems our orginal love came about with us having aposing thoughts regarding faith . For what ever reason she lost her faith or i gained the faith , what effect would that have on us .

In our case it would be no more then a new mutual agreeing point . I can not answer your end of this situation . What effect do you think it would pose for your relationship !

I dont know you well enough to even guess at this secenario .

Did you notice i type much better with out a 2 year old helping
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Old April 5th, 2007, 10:52 AM   #32
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I will leave alone your comment on non-permanance.

Good question about possible loss of faith. That would be the icing on the marriage breaking cake in the loss of a child or something similarly horific. Honestly, I don't think either of us would fall away, we have seen God's faithfulness in a large way for a length of time. Well, at least I'd like to believe neither of us would fall away.

I totally know that faith is not the only key to a marriage, it is just one part, but this tread was about someone deciding TO or NOT TO marry someone of different faith.
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Old April 5th, 2007, 12:07 PM   #33
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This is the first post I've ever made on this site involving religion, so surely you're not referring to me directly. I think the bible is pretty cut and dry most of the time, but sometimes it's worded oddly and it needs to be interpreted. That where different denominations come from, is where the complexly worded things are interpreted differently.

I really don't care if people have relationships between Christians and non-believers, I was just commenting on the original topic. I have friends that are in the exact situation, I was just reiterating what the bible has to say about it. How much more than those verses be interpreted?
I love Jess but I really agree with these two post.
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Old April 5th, 2007, 12:39 PM   #34
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I think religion is only one of many factors that make compatibility. My ex and I were both Christian but we werent compatible. He was raised in the city and I was raised in the country. He was chinese and I am white. There were too many differences between us for love to overcome.

Now with Mike, he is my best friend and my love. We have similar families, similar beliefs, and similar up bringing. I wouldnt call our marriage (or anyone's) perfect, but it is as close as you can get.

I think when you start out with a significant difference in any fashion, it can hurt the marriage for sure.
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Old April 9th, 2007, 01:13 PM   #35
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when my parents got married (father Lutherin, mother baptist) it was kinda a iffy topic. But in my opinion, i wouldn't think twice about marrying another christian from another denomination, and i don't think my family would have any issue with it either.

Although i did have a little internal confusion when i was in a long term relationship with a gf that her mother was jewish and her father christian, she didn't really follow either religion devotly but still i was curious on how my family would of reacted to it if we took that step.
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