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Old August 29th, 2013, 12:34 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by whiterhino View Post
Full time school & a good kid, no rent. Drop school or start screwing up, rent.
this
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Old August 29th, 2013, 12:39 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by Lousypirate View Post


either charge rent and save it for her (I wish my parents would have)

or don't charge her anything unless she starts slacking or general disrespect for your house/rules. Don't threaten, it doesn't work. My dad tried that for a long time. Threatening just makes the kids laugh. I usually called his bluffs.
I like this the best.

I don't have children so I don't have much to say other than; she goes to school full time, and works two jobs. Why charge her rent? She is trying to make something of herself and is putting her time in. If she was working one part time job then hell yes, charge her ass.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 01:29 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by kickstand View Post
Since you quoted TSAguy I didn't.

But I agree with both of your posts and feel you have both put well thought out well written responses together.

NOTHING annoys me more than hearing a "non" parent tell me I am doing something wrong with MY children.

That said, my dad always tells me I am too hard on my son. I have tried to lighten up. I believe that I have, there are certain things that I just can't figure out how to correct, though minor, I still think they need some attention to make sure they do not become major issues at any point in time.
Thanks.
My opinion is that you are not too hard on your son, regardless of what others might think.

The key is to combine it with being FAIR. Saying do this because I said so is only good at a young age where they can't comprehend what you are saying. Once they are old enough to engage in a decent thought process discussion, they deserve an explanation. With that, one of the hardest things as a parent is to realize and admit when your kid has a good or better point of view. Your kids
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Old August 29th, 2013, 01:35 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by whiterhino View Post
Thanks.
My opinion is that you are not too hard on your son, regardless of what others might think.

The key is to combine it with being FAIR. Saying do this because I said so is only good at a young age where they can't comprehend what you are saying. Once they are old enough to engage in a decent thought process discussion, they deserve an explanation. With that, one of the hardest things as a parent is to realize and admit when your kid has a good or better point of view. Your kids
Good advice as well.

I was kind of (ok, i was way too hard) on him the other day for something, by the time I realized it I felt like such a dickhead. I sat him down, apologized, explained my frustration and promised him I would not act like that again. It really hurt inside to make a mistake like that.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 01:39 PM   #65
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I hit send before I finished the final thought but you actually just commented on it.

Your kids will respect you more when you can admit when you were wrong.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 04:53 PM   #66
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Samantha Graduated from High School with a 3.56 GPA received a 29 on the ACT with 11 credit hours towards college when graduated from school. She was taking college credits that count for high school credits as well since the beginning of the 11th grade and we made her take summer classes last year and this summer, so she is a step ahead at 18.

I bought her a car, provide her with Insurance, food, gas, housing etc etc.

She does fantastic at school but is the typical pain in the ass teen ager at doing house hold chores etc, as my wife is a stay at home mom, she assumes that my wife is a live in maid to a small extent, not excessive.

When I was 18 I moved out and bought my second house. I worked two jobs went to college shacked up with my now wife, and rented the second bedroom of my big pimpin double wide to my buddy so I could afford to live.

I have been a self supporting tax paying citizen my entire adult life and have paid my own way.

I am a hard ass hole, I know when it comes to my kids, It is good for them, any of you pussy face fuckers that have your 30 + year olds moving back in with you, it is your fault, not theirs.

I am trying to raise a responsible adult to be ready for a world where there are no free rides if you want to succeed.

If you are a "insert racial slur here" and want to live in low income housing, use your Obama phone to call dial a ride to take you to get groceries on Wednesday with your EBT card fukc You, I can not say it enough, Fuck You,

I want to instill a sense of responsibility in her, I have never had any one save up my truck, house payment and or consumers bill payments and send them back to me after ward and say good job here is a free bee. I do not believe this teaches any thing other than the entitlement that is causing the degradation of our society.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 05:26 PM   #67
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Disclaimer; charging or not charging becomes a personal choice and there are pros/cons of each. But, IMO,
Charging rent in and of itself does not teach responsibility or "real world" situations. If your daughter is busting her ass to pay for school and cramming as much education in as possible, why burden her with a cost she cannot afford? Sometimes a good life lesson is that if you work hard, rewards come in many directions, IE, free room and board. If she has to work another job or more hours to pay a rent ......... and .......... it forces her grades down because she is over burdened, what does that teach her? That life sucks and no matter how hard she works she won't get ahead? IMO, that is not a good life lesson. Just because a person reaches age 18 and graduates high school does not mean they are suddenly an adult and have to shoulder everything. Some mature faster or quite frankly "catch on" faster, no matter how much we wish they had figured it out sooner.

I still think it comes back to as long as she is moving forward at a proper pace, give her the ability to be the best she can while in school. If she becomes a slacker, give her a warning and tell her to get her shit together. If she continues to slack, change the rules. But until then, her (and your) primary goal is to get her through college with the best credentials possible to help her get a "real" job when she gets out of school. Shitty grades and a crummy degree will only prolong her getting a good job so she can move out.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 05:52 PM   #68
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sounds like a pretty good kid to me. If you feel she is taking advantage of living at home and having your wife there to help with household chores maybe instead of charging rent she can be held responsible for a few extra chores around the house to help your wife out.

I'm no "insert racial slur here" , but I sure do love me some chicken.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 06:02 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by whiterhino View Post
Disclaimer; charging or not charging becomes a personal choice and there are pros/cons of each. But, IMO,
Charging rent in and of itself does not teach responsibility or "real world" situations. If your daughter is busting her ass to pay for school and cramming as much education in as possible, why burden her with a cost she cannot afford? Sometimes a good life lesson is that if you work hard, rewards come in many directions, IE, free room and board. If she has to work another job or more hours to pay a rent ......... and .......... it forces her grades down because she is over burdened, what does that teach her? That life sucks and no matter how hard she works she won't get ahead? IMO, that is not a good life lesson. Just because a person reaches age 18 and graduates high school does not mean they are suddenly an adult and have to shoulder everything. Some mature faster or quite frankly "catch on" faster, no matter how much we wish they had figured it out sooner.

I still think it comes back to as long as she is moving forward at a proper pace, give her the ability to be the best she can while in school. If she becomes a slacker, give her a warning and tell her to get her shit together. If she continues to slack, change the rules. But until then, her (and your) primary goal is to get her through college with the best credentials possible to help her get a "real" job when she gets out of school. Shitty grades and a crummy degree will only prolong her getting a good job so she can move out.
I think this really sums it up.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 07:16 PM   #70
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Mine will be going to college this year and working.......no rent. Just get good grades.

She does pay her own insurance and helps with other stuff when I ask. As long as grades are up and she's being a good girl there will be no rent. You screw up and shit will change quick
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Old August 29th, 2013, 07:53 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by kickstand View Post
Since you quoted TSAguy I didn't.

But I agree with both of your posts and feel you have both put well thought out well written responses together.

NOTHING annoys me more than hearing a "non" parent tell me I am doing something wrong with MY children.

That said, my dad always tells me I am too hard on my son. I have tried to lighten up. I believe that I have, there are certain things that I just can't figure out how to correct, though minor, I still think they need some attention to make sure they do not become major issues at any point in time.
You and I have very similar parenting ideas. I have not read this entire thread, but I have some advice. My parents said I was being too hard on my son, and they were probably right. I expected him to know everything and to do everything at 100 percent. Long story short, it was too big of expectations. Even though I still expect allot from him, I have tonned it down. He is a straight A student, works two jobs, is incredibly polite, a good worker, honest, and an awesome young man. Is he a sports star? Nope. Is he an intense competitor? Nope. He is very talented in his own areas which I have little to no talent in. He can play the shit out of about any musical instrument, can write a story to make you want more and is more likeable than I will ever be. I would never charge him rent because he does his share, rarely asks for money (even though I would give it to him every time) and I would do anything to make sure he gets ahead in life. He is an old soul and doesn't need to learn things the hard way like I probably did. If I could do some things different, I would do more incouragement than have higher expectations on things that just don't matter.

Last edited by Mr.Green; August 29th, 2013 at 08:00 PM.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 08:42 PM   #72
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You and I have very similar parenting ideas. I have not read this entire thread, but I have some advice. My parents said I was being too hard on my son, and they were probably right. I expected him to know everything and to do everything at 100 percent. Long story short, it was too big of expectations. Even though I still expect allot from him, I have tonned it down. He is a straight A student, works two jobs, is incredibly polite, a good worker, honest, and an awesome young man. Is he a sports star? Nope. Is he an intense competitor? Nope. He is very talented in his own areas which I have little to no talent in. He can play the shit out of about any musical instrument, can write a story to make you want more and is more likeable than I will ever be. I would never charge him rent because he does his share, rarely asks for money (even though I would give it to him every time) and I would do anything to make sure he gets ahead in life. He is an old soul and doesn't need to learn things the hard way like I probably did. If I could do some things different, I would do more incouragement than have higher expectations on things that just don't matter.

I can comment on mr green jr, he is more likable than mr green, he is very polite, when he does need extra money he doesn't ask his dad, he calls me and I put him to work around my house doing all sorts of odd jobs and such. He has also been trusted to house sit for us and has completed said tasks without one ounce of trouble, mr green jr is a good kid...I think mr green has to take some credit for that
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Old August 29th, 2013, 08:48 PM   #73
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I can comment on mr green jr, he is more likable than mr green, he is very polite, when he does need extra money he doesn't ask his dad, he calls me and I put him to work around my house doing all sorts of odd jobs and such. He has also been trusted to house sit for us and has completed said tasks without one ounce of trouble, mr green jr is a good kid...I think mr green has to take some credit for that
he is a great kid!
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Old August 29th, 2013, 08:54 PM   #74
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For my first time experience with my kid choking was like yours. Know with a second kid you hit them on the back they spit it out and you just keep on going like nothing happens. It is amazing how your outlook changes as you are parenting for longer periods of time.
Worst advise ever, in fact could make the problem worse...infants are the only ones that you would hit on the back and that is after they have been positioned head down. And if they are coughing, leave them alone, again your interference could make the problem worse. It's when they are not coughing or breathing you have a problem and then you would want to use a Heimlich maneuver.
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Old August 29th, 2013, 09:22 PM   #75
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Doc hancho
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Old August 29th, 2013, 09:50 PM   #76
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What?

Charge....my own kid...rent...to live...in my own house??? No comprendo.

Where is this civilization heading to...
The shitter because of enabling behavior such as yours.
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Old August 30th, 2013, 11:08 AM   #77
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In school and good kid...good grades and working for their own transportation and spending cash...

NO RENT.
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Old August 30th, 2013, 11:49 AM   #78
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I charged my daughter rent beginning at age 26...........she got all pissy and moved out within 3 months.
................made me sooo sad.
Kids!

Last edited by itselliott; August 30th, 2013 at 11:55 AM.
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Old August 30th, 2013, 11:52 AM   #79
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I charged my daughter beginning at age 26...........she got all pissy and moved out within 3 months.

Kids!
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Old August 30th, 2013, 11:52 AM   #80
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I charged my daughter beginning at age 26...........she got all pissy and moved out within 3 months.

Kids!
you were about 4-5 years too late
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