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Old March 6th, 2013, 09:35 PM   #1
1 ton tj on 40's
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Unhappy how to deal with a loss of a good friend

been dealing with a loss of a good friend . about three weeks ago i found a close friend of mine dead in the hay feild behind my house do to a heart attack. an it's been a hard one to get over.
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Old March 6th, 2013, 09:39 PM   #2
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So sorry to hear this. my deepest condolences.
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Old March 6th, 2013, 09:42 PM   #3
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Sounds cliche but time. I am very sorry to hear this. I know seeing my father's best friend, and a man whom I considered a second father, dead before he did was extremely rough on me. I still don't remember driving to his house. Remember the good times and stay strong is all I have to offer. Hopefully things turn around soon.
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Old March 6th, 2013, 09:51 PM   #4
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I lost my childhood best friend while he was over seas in the Army nearly 6 years ago. It sucks, especially when I look back and think of what a shit head friend I was after his deployment. I still miss the friendship we had to this day.
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Old March 6th, 2013, 09:52 PM   #5
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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Old March 6th, 2013, 10:00 PM   #6
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Very sorry to hear. Finding your buddy in your own field is something I can't really imagine.

I recently lost a good friend too. It just plain sucks. I'm not a counselor, so the best I can offer is that it is true that it does help to think about the good memories, and that time does heal. Best wishes.
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Old March 6th, 2013, 10:05 PM   #7
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Truly sorry for your loss. No words can make it any better for you. Like others have said, time will be your friend. Keep the good memories in your mind as much as you can, not always easy but fight the urges to "go to the dark side".
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Old March 6th, 2013, 10:16 PM   #8
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Sorry to hear this, remember the good times and don't forget to raise a glass in his honor as often as you can.
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Old March 7th, 2013, 04:39 AM   #9
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There's not much a person can say but it sucks. I agree with remembering the good times.

When I was 17 my buddy & I were duck hunting & he drowned. I was the last one with him. My mom told his mom and I told his dad. I'm now 56 & still have days that it bothers me.

Here's what I can say to you. Don't let it get you down. Don't get caught up in "drinking one for him". If you feel yourself getting depressed, get out of the house and do something. The cold facts are that people die for no good reason. Accept it.
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Old March 7th, 2013, 04:52 AM   #10
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X2 , its hard but ya gotta get through this and keep pushing on. Sorry for your loss bud .... Next time were at the Mounds together, I'll do a back flip with my Jeep on the concrete slab, just for shits and giggles........
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Old March 7th, 2013, 05:18 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1 ton tj on 40's View Post
been dealing with a loss of a good friend . about three weeks ago i found a close friend of mine dead in the hay feild behind my house do to a heart attack. an it's been a hard one to get over.
How would your friend want to be remembered?
Honor that memory.

Just by your post, he was lucky to have you as a bud.
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Old March 7th, 2013, 05:40 AM   #12
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sorry for your loss!
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Old March 7th, 2013, 05:53 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by whiterhino View Post
There's not much a person can say but it sucks. I agree with remembering the good times.

When I was 17 my buddy & I were duck hunting & he drowned. I was the last one with him. My mom told his mom and I told his dad. I'm now 56 & still have days that it bothers me.

Here's what I can say to you. Don't let it get you down. Don't get caught up in "drinking one for him". If you feel yourself getting depressed, get out of the house and do something. The cold facts are that people die for no good reason. Accept it.
1 ton tj on 40's - I'm sorry for your loss. If you need to chat let me know. I had a high school buddy die in my arms back in college from a tragic accident. I won't go into the details but it has been 20 years this year and every once in a while I relive that day. All I can say is through time you will learn to except it and know how to deal with it. I've also found that talking about it to my family helps me to deal with it so I don't bottle up my feelings.
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Old March 7th, 2013, 06:06 AM   #14
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Just stay away from the bottle. Sorry for your loss, its never easy.
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Old March 7th, 2013, 06:07 AM   #15
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Sorry for your loss.
Cant do much, but talk and remember.
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Old March 7th, 2013, 06:32 AM   #16
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My best friend since we were about 5 years old passed back in 2008. The best thing I have been able to do it talk with other friends about the good times and some of the not so good times. It will be 5 years this may and I still think about him everyday.
He was as close to me as any of my family members. We were each others best man in our weddings. He is missed everyday. I hope you don't turn to the bottle it will only ruin you.
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Old March 7th, 2013, 06:46 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1 ton tj on 40's View Post
been dealing with a loss of a good friend . about three weeks ago i found a close friend of mine dead in the hay feild behind my house do to a heart attack. an it's been a hard one to get over.
You are doing one of the things that help right now. Grief is a natural process that will help you cope in the long run. If you keep your emotions bottled up (men don't cry, herp derp), you grief will turn into depression and and you will have an even harder time accepting the death of your friend. Believe it or not, you will start to feel better soon. Don't be ashamed if you need to talk to a counselor, it will help.
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Old March 7th, 2013, 07:18 AM   #18
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sorry for your loss
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Old March 7th, 2013, 07:22 AM   #19
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Sorry to hear that...
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Old March 7th, 2013, 08:01 AM   #20
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thank you all. nope not turning to the bottle. the hard part is haveing to look out the back window every day an all i see is him. but as you all say look at the good times
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