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Old December 13th, 2012, 06:15 AM   #61
Nuggets
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I have been married almost 18 years and with her close to 21. I've found the best thing for a marriage is compromise and communication. Sure, my wife and I have (sometimes heated) arguments here and there, but we never go to bed without discussing what is going on and coming to a solution. Another thing we do is say "I love you." whenever we part company or hang up the phone. It sounds cheesy but it works for us.

I grew up in a divorced environment being raised by children in adult bodies. My stepfather never really bonded with my brother and I, in fact I feel he viewed us a baggage that accompanied my mother. Mom was a loving person but she made piss poor life choices and never really taught us much about the real world and being an adult. My dad was a pretty good guy but he insisted on being a slayer of roast beef. After he got marrid for the third time, I was saddled with a psychotic stepmother from hell, but that's a story in itself. Long story short, I hated growing up in a divorced envronment so I am trying very hard not to repeat the mistakes of my parents.




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If I start buying cards now, then she really will start expecting them.....
You said earlier that women don't use logic, duh! Take 10 minutes out of your day every now and then and get her a nice card. Sure, it's five bucks that will be thrown in the trash and the card seems stupid but women eat this crap up! Since you are on the road a lot, do little things to show you care for her. When you come home, make a little bit of a deal out of it and tell her you're glad to see her. I think you will be suprised how different the wife will act.

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Date night sounds hokey but it's very good advice. Ours is usually a trip to Applebee's and Home Depot. As marriage goes on it's pretty easy to just take each other for granted. Making the effort to treat each other special is well worth the effort.
This is great advice. My wife and I do this every now and then. I relish the face time with her and we get to complain about work, kids, etc. It is a strong factor when it comes to charginig the emotional batteries ina relationship.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 06:47 AM   #62
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Communication time is important. It's interesting that when we head out for a long drive up north, the radio rarely comes on or at least not for an hour or so. It's our time to catch up on whatever we haven't made time for throughout the week. I see people that the first thing they do is crank up the boom box in the car and never take the time to talk.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 06:54 AM   #63
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You said earlier that women don't use logic, duh! Take 10 minutes out of your day every now and then and get her a nice card. Sure, it's five bucks that will be thrown in the trash and the card seems stupid but women eat this crap up! Since you are on the road a lot, do little things to show you care for her. When you come home, make a little bit of a deal out of it and tell her you're glad to see her. I think you will be suprised how different the wife will act.


I'm only half serious about the cards, but the root of the argument is that due to my work schedule, I literally did not have time to call my mother on her birthday and she understands why. (My mother was in bed before I got out of the customer's shop. She only has the energy to stay awake for about 6 hours right now.) My wife has a fit whenever I do anything for my mother.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 07:43 AM   #64
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Just went through a similar thing. We were together 6 years, basically married most of that time (lived together, had a house, dogs, everything but kids and the legality of being married). She was begging to get married for a couple years, dropping hints up until the day I proposed. 8 weeks later she decided she liked my best friend better, he was also my boss. I lost her, my best friend, house, everything but one dog. A couple months later my "best friend" fired me because I wasn't happy he was with her.

I have no advice, other than listen to the people of gl4x4, they will never lead you wrong.

Well, maybe that's bad advice.
Sorry, but why in the hell would you stay working for him anyway? No answer needed because there isnt a good one.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 09:13 AM   #65
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Replace her with something younger.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 09:15 AM   #66
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Sorry, but why in the hell would you stay working for him anyway? No answer needed because there isnt a good one.
Pays the bills? Liked his job?
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Old December 13th, 2012, 10:20 AM   #67
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That would be music to my ears.....there is no way in hell i could ever do the stereotypical wife/kids/family deal......seems women who feel the same are few and far between.....kids are a huge deal breaker for me.

It is crappy of her not to be up front with that though and just assume you would accept it

When we moved in together at 21years old i proposed and informed her that i was ready for babies, this would have been a good time to tell me she didn't want kids.

We discussed kids once a week for the rest of our relationship.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 10:21 AM   #68
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Replace her with something younger.
This!
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Old December 13th, 2012, 10:24 AM   #69
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I talk a lot like I don't want my kids, and before I had my first I would have been ok with having none. The hard/angry times are really hard/angry, but the goods out weigh any other joy/happiness/accomplishment there is.

I got to watch my youngest score his first Hat Trick this year..................The celebration with him after the game, well,........there just is "NOTHING" like it.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 10:56 AM   #70
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Pays the bills? Liked his job?
Is that the price of dignity?
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Old December 13th, 2012, 11:13 AM   #71
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Sorry, but why in the hell would you stay working for him anyway? No answer needed because there isnt a good one.
I abslolutely loved my job, I was happy to get up every morning and go to work. I was making good money and knew it would be hard to find another job like it. The other guy was denying everything at first and I wanted to believe him. He had been my best friend for some time and I was hoping it would all blow over. Then there was a couple months where I never really saw him while we worked at seperate locations.
Basically I knew it wasn't going to last, so I was already looking for another job but wanted to keep good income while I was looking. Trust me it was miserable, maybe I should have just quit and collected unemployment and used foodstamps to buy some beer. Seems to be what everybody else does.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 11:33 AM   #72
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Communication time is important. It's interesting that when we head out for a long drive up north, the radio rarely comes on or at least not for an hour or so. It's our time to catch up on whatever we haven't made time for throughout the week. I see people that the first thing they do is crank up the boom box in the car and never take the time to talk.
Take WhiteRhino's advice; he's been married so long Jesus himself performed the cermony!
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Old December 13th, 2012, 12:23 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by ChadSmeltzer View Post
I abslolutely loved my job, I was happy to get up every morning and go to work. I was making good money and knew it would be hard to find another job like it. The other guy was denying everything at first and I wanted to believe him. He had been my best friend for some time and I was hoping it would all blow over. Then there was a couple months where I never really saw him while we worked at seperate locations.
Basically I knew it wasn't going to last, so I was already looking for another job but wanted to keep good income while I was looking. Trust me it was miserable, maybe I should have just quit and collected unemployment and used foodstamps to buy some beer. Seems to be what everybody else does.
Understood. I couldnt handle having to see him everyday if that was the case. If I saw him I would ask him "How does my weinis taste?" everytime.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 03:22 PM   #74
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That really sucks My ex was a tool too but I found someone way better after I was done with his nonsense. I know you will find someone better too.
^^ This. Good luck!
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Old December 13th, 2012, 04:09 PM   #75
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ok question for the few females on here is it possable for a woman to go from shits good if not great to i want a divorce in 3 weeks with out outside influance
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Old December 13th, 2012, 04:18 PM   #76
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ok question for the few females on here is it possable for a woman to go from shits good if not great to i want a divorce in 3 weeks with out outside influance
I have never had a life changing decision like the one she had that came in three weeks. I did decide in one day to kick out my husband but I found out he was cheating with random slores. Other than a few days in my cycle I am probably more stable than some women I know.
My honest guesses are that it could be one of the following:
  1. She has been on the fence but not admitting it for a while longer than you know.
  2. She has found someone news.
  3. She had some sort of life changing epiphany- I don't know many people who have had this without the first item but I hear it happens.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 04:32 PM   #77
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ok question for the few females on here is it possable for a woman to go from shits good if not great to i want a divorce in 3 weeks with out outside influance
Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. Dated the girl for a few years he bought s house in the country with property that she liked they got married and 6 months in she said she wanted out wasn't happy with living where she was (missed the city; 20min drive) and signed everything over to him.

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Old December 13th, 2012, 04:33 PM   #78
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ok question for the few females on here is it possable for a woman to go from shits good if not great to i want a divorce in 3 weeks with out outside influance
Not usually..get irrationally mad and say you want a divorce out of anger then regret it shortly after and have awesome make up sex yes...actually mean it in that short of a time without something huge happening, not likely without some sort of outside influence either another man or "friends" telling her the grass is greener elsewhere. Just my opinion.
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Old December 13th, 2012, 04:36 PM   #79
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yeah im starting to think some one has been pissing in my beer so to speak
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Old December 13th, 2012, 04:56 PM   #80
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When we moved in together at 21years old i proposed and informed her that i was ready for babies, this would have been a good time to tell me she didn't want kids.

We discussed kids once a week for the rest of our relationship.

Find yourself a nice woman who is in her thirties that does not have children yet. Tell her you've always wanted kids. She will then attempt to kill you with her pussy. Good times ahead.
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