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Old October 25th, 2012, 08:50 AM   #1
Immortal
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Question Is it okay to tie up your teenager......

to a chair and fling frozen peas at their forehead with a spoon?
Just looking into forms of punishment for an ungrateful, disrespectful, mouthy, disobedient, and whiny prima donna!!!!!!!!!!

My daughter IS good 80% of the time, but when she has her flare ups of attitude I become "agitated"

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Old October 25th, 2012, 08:54 AM   #2
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As entertaining as that would be....I would opt out and hide cosmetics and grooming supplies from her.Goes around looking like a scrub for a few days she might change her attitude.ZBut that will definitely get the mouthy part in an uproar.
Good luck with it ...




Glad I had boys....
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:01 AM   #3
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As entertaining as that would be....I would opt out and hide cosmetics and grooming supplies from her.Goes around looking like a scrub for a few days she might change her attitude.ZBut that will definitely get the mouthy part in an uproar.
Good luck with it ...




Glad I had boys....
X2 But mine is a mouthy 16 year old who thinks he knows everything,and owns the world.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:01 AM   #4
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I like it, completely harmless, but will really put her in her place.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:04 AM   #5
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to a chair and fling frozen pees at their forehead with a spoon?
Just looking into forms of punishment for an ungrateful, disrespectful, mouthy, disobedient, and whiny prima donna!!!!!!!!!!

My daughter IS good 80% of the time, but when she has her flare ups of attitude I become "agitated"
I FEEL YOUR PAIN! i have a 14 year old.the flare ups can be unreal.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:08 AM   #6
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Dave, you are dealing with an important/serious issue. How you handle the next few years will greatly impact your relationship with your daughter.

When my youngest daughter was 15 or so, for whatever reason she was grounded from the phone. (the days of land lines) I woke up in the middle of the night & heard her on the phone. Nudged the wife & told her what was happening. My wife got up, brought our daughter into our room & made a bed on the floor next to us. Told her that since she could not be trusted that she would have to live with us 24/7 till she "earned" her right to her own room again. So, every morning when I got up, she got up. She was required to be with us the whole time she was at home from school. She watched what we watched on TV & when it was time for bed, she went to bed the same time as us. No excuses. For about a week she learned what it was like to not be trusted. With that, she was either much better around us, or learned how to hide her bad deeds better.

Dave, this didn't really answer your question. But after raising 2 girls, I can only tell you that you have to be creative in your ways to get through to them. I really struggled with my teenage girls because I am a matter-of-fact guy who works in an industrial enviroment like you. Please and thankyou aren't always used. With teenage girls, they are so sensitive at that age that they get their feelings hurt for the simplest reasons.

Tough love is important. How to do it is hard. Keep in mind that this is on the job training for you and your wife. If you haven't dealt with an issue like this, it's trial and error. That's one of the things that many non-parents don't understand when telling you how to raise your kids. You MUST force open communication. I think that's the biggest key. I think it's fair to say that both my girls hated (or at least disliked me) for most of their high school years. It was only after they needed Dad's advice and help while @ college or other issues that brought us back closer. It was a tough 4 or 5 years for me.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:11 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Immortal View Post
to a chair and fling frozen pees at their forehead with a spoon?
Just looking into forms of punishment for an ungrateful, disrespectful, mouthy, disobedient, and whiny prima donna!!!!!!!!!!

My daughter IS good 80% of the time, but when she has her flare ups of attitude I become "agitated"
Individual peas? Yes.


Still in the Bag? Probably not
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:14 AM   #8
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Individual peas? Yes.


Still in the Bag? Probably not
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:38 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whiterhino View Post
Dave, you are dealing with an important/serious issue. How you handle the next few years will greatly impact your relationship with your daughter.

When my youngest daughter was 15 or so, for whatever reason she was grounded from the phone. (the days of land lines) I woke up in the middle of the night & heard her on the phone. Nudged the wife & told her what was happening. My wife got up, brought our daughter into our room & made a bed on the floor next to us. Told her that since she could not be trusted that she would have to live with us 24/7 till she "earned" her right to her own room again. So, every morning when I got up, she got up. She was required to be with us the whole time she was at home from school. She watched what we watched on TV & when it was time for bed, she went to bed the same time as us. No excuses. For about a week she learned what it was like to not be trusted. With that, she was either much better around us, or learned how to hide her bad deeds better.

Dave, this didn't really answer your question. But after raising 2 girls, I can only tell you that you have to be creative in your ways to get through to them. I really struggled with my teenage girls because I am a matter-of-fact guy who works in an industrial enviroment like you. Please and thankyou aren't always used. With teenage girls, they are so sensitive at that age that they get their feelings hurt for the simplest reasons.

Tough love is important. How to do it is hard. Keep in mind that this is on the job training for you and your wife. If you haven't dealt with an issue like this, it's trial and error. That's one of the things that many non-parents don't understand when telling you how to raise your kids. You MUST force open communication. I think that's the biggest key. I think it's fair to say that both my girls hated (or at least disliked me) for most of their high school years. It was only after they needed Dad's advice and help while @ college or other issues that brought us back closer. It was a tough 4 or 5 years for me.







X2 and good luck. I had 2 boys and we got along great, but I was tough on them during those years. Tough but fair and tried to do things together. and study their personalities and adjust your paranting accordingly. One son (the oldest) wanted to dye his hair blond at around 16, I firmly said NO (Because he was rebelious) when the younger one turned 15 he wanted to dye his hair blond and I said ok,( he was just a fun loving goofball who needed to fit in)
I parented them differently because they are different. when the older one asked why I told him, He understood.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:48 AM   #10
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If peas don't work try green beans.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:50 AM   #11
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Reading these things makes me want to not have kids.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:52 AM   #12
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I agree with White Rhino (Right Rhino) on this. It's crucial to be able to bend, and see grey areas.

I only raised one daughter, adopted, and some days she acted 8 yrs old, other days she acted 18.

Often times to allow teach her to respect me, I would fight battles I knew I should lose, so as things went to her favor, she gained respect for me by seeing that dad could see both sides of the fence.

On the other hand, for me to win a few battles showed her I still ruled the roost.

I struggled to teach her to vent respectfully, to be angry with out being nasty to others, and to experience emotion without alienating her own family. Tough act to teach.

And as far as cosmetics go, I grounded her for a week from all facial cosmetics, hairspray, and hairdryer and flat-iron. It was more hell on me, but I did it to teach her to stop complaining about her household chores. It worked, but it was one horrible time to be up, goad her into going to school despite her appearance, and then deal with her wrath as she returned home... but that long campaign was worth a lot in what I gained from my daughter!

I feel your pain...
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:56 AM   #13
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Oh god, my daughter is two. I am not looking forward to the teens.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 09:56 AM   #14
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Hockey Dave,..........I can set your daughter up with a team yet this year.

She wont have time nor the energy to get under your skin.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 10:05 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whiterhino View Post


Tough love is important. How to do it is hard. Keep in mind that this is on the job training for you and your wife. If you haven't dealt with an issue like this, it's trial and error. That's one of the things that many non-parents don't understand when telling you how to raise your kids. You MUST force open communication. I think that's the biggest key. I think it's fair to say that both my girls hated (or at least disliked me) for most of their high school years. It was only after they needed Dad's advice and help while @ college or other issues that brought us back closer. It was a tough 4 or 5 years for me.
Agreed. My son is 19. He is a great kid and is turning out to be a great adult. I look back on how I handled these tough teen age years and wish I would have done some things differently. I too was a bit hard on my son thru those years and although it has tought him important life lessons and kept him out of trouble, it did put a bit of a damper on the fun relationship we shared when he was pre-teen. It is now starting to get better and I look forward to the day when we can get back to being good friends and not me having to get on his case all the time. Be careful, it is a fine line.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 10:27 AM   #16
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I have a 11 year old daughter right now that thinks she is 18. I have a long few years ahead of me. I have tried different approaches and none seem to curve the attitude yet. She can be good most of the time but as soon as something doesn't go her way the attitude starts.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 10:29 AM   #17
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Ahhhhhhhh, the old estrogen madness.

When it hits, reason no longer applies and it's time to go medieval.

Pull key fuse or relay on car, so that car becomes "dead".

Block MAC address on wireless router, cutting off internet access.

Seriously though, I am SO DAMN GLAD to be done with that.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
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Old October 25th, 2012, 10:32 AM   #18
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As satisfying as it sounds I think pea flinging would not be a good choice. If you want them to make good choices you have to demonstrate making good choices and be honest with them when you have not made good choices.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 10:58 AM   #19
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We raised 8 kids, 3 of them girls. All of them were different to raise and responded to different tactics/punishments. Learn what bothers them and learn what "carrots" they will reach for to use as positive reinforcement.

Pick your battles, let the non-important things go so that you can spend your energy on what are the important battles.

You can only control them when they are with you.
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Old October 25th, 2012, 11:06 AM   #20
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my dad once threw a frozen turkey at my sister.. seem to help for a littile bit
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