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Old December 24th, 2013, 06:59 PM   #17481
cmetzg03
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockstar View Post
a fukc is something i still dont give

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Old December 24th, 2013, 07:39 PM   #17482
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Just got a nice email from Lowe's.


Timestamp: 6:50pm

Subject: Need a Last Minute Gift?

Free in store pickup until 6pm Christmas eve!




uh........ might be a touch late.
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Old December 24th, 2013, 07:43 PM   #17483
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They make a bacon bowl now.

Something I expect a Buffet Cow to be caught filling with pudding at Golden Corral after 8 hours of eating.
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Old December 24th, 2013, 07:49 PM   #17484
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So help me God yellow eyes
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Old December 24th, 2013, 07:56 PM   #17485
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One down, three to go.
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Old December 24th, 2013, 08:21 PM   #17486
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FRAGILE ... That must be Italian!
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Old December 24th, 2013, 08:30 PM   #17487
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French! It's French.
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Old December 24th, 2013, 08:47 PM   #17488
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 8PTBUCK View Post
So help me God yellow eyes
Does it burn?
Remember boyz... No matter what she says, wrap it before you tap it.

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Old December 24th, 2013, 09:05 PM   #17489
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Just finished Satanizing 3 dozen Chicken Embryos.
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Old December 24th, 2013, 09:09 PM   #17490
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I smell bacon
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Old December 24th, 2013, 09:10 PM   #17491
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Just finished Satanizing 3 dozen Chicken Embryos.
Evil eggs?
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Old December 24th, 2013, 10:10 PM   #17492
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Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house made of plaster & stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
And to see just who in this home did live.

I looked all about a strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kind
A sober thought came through my mind.
For this house was different, so dark and dreary,
I knew I had found the home of a soldier, once I could see clearly.

I heard stories about them, I had to see more
So I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.
And there he lay sleeping silent alone,
Curled up on the floor in his one bedroom home.

His face so gentle, his room in such disorder,
Not how I pictured a United States soldier.
Was this the hero of whom I’d just read?
Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?

His head was clean shaven, his weathered face tan,
I soon understood this was more than a man.
For I realized the families that I saw that night
Owed their lives to these men who were willing to fight.

Soon ‘round the world, the children would play,
And grownups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
Because of soldiers like this one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone
On a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.

The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
"Santa don’t cry, this life is my choice;
I fight for freedom, I don’t ask for more,
my life is my God, my country, my Corps."

With that he rolled over and drifted off into sleep,
I couldn’t control it, I continued to weep.
I watched him for hours, so silent and still,
I noticed he shivered from the cold night’s chill.

So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
And I covered this Soldier from his toes to his head.
And I put on his T-shirt of gray and black,
With an eagle and an Army patch embroidered on back.

And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride,
And for a shining moment, I was United States Army deep inside.
I didn’t want to leave him on that cold dark night,
This guardian of honor so willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, whispered with a voice so clean and pure,
"Carry on Santa, it’s Christmas Day, all is secure."
One look at my watch, and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, and to all a good night!
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All I want to do is smoke meth, fuck my sister, and hang myself with a belt.
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Old December 24th, 2013, 11:17 PM   #17493
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I ate the cookies. Bwahahahaha!
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Old December 24th, 2013, 11:24 PM   #17494
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Old December 24th, 2013, 11:32 PM   #17495
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I ate the cookies. Bwahahahaha!
You're gonna get the shitz nao. Santa won't be pleased.
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Old December 24th, 2013, 11:32 PM   #17496
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Christmas gifts wrapped, they look better than i have ever done before, maybe a few drinks makes me a better wrapper.
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Old December 25th, 2013, 12:48 AM   #17497
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Originally Posted by booblinker View Post
Christmas gifts wrapped, they look better than i have ever done before, maybe a few drinks makes me a better wrapper.

Nothing will ever make me a good wrapper.
I'm a good opener. None better.
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Old December 25th, 2013, 12:50 AM   #17498
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Quote:
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Nothing will ever make me a good wrapper.
I'm a good opener. None better.
Oh they still look like shit, just look like a nice tight coiled turd, instead of a puddle of diahrea.
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Old December 25th, 2013, 05:16 AM   #17499
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Merry Christmas everyone

Im watching Waynes World
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Old December 25th, 2013, 05:28 AM   #17500
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Party time! Excellent!
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