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Old July 26th, 2011, 02:20 PM   #1
whiterhino
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Default locking keys in a car

The current thread about breaking into a car reminded me of this email I received some time back from a member here. Pretty funny.

well im bored and i dont have $hit to do so ill give you my morning story......

I woke up with a slight thought of where i put my keys last night... I didnt think anything of it because i just told myself "you just put them in your room, no big deal"

well about the time i was ready to hop in my truck i started getting concerned that my keys hadn't turned up yet. at this time i said to myself "theres only one answer when my keys havent turned up by now....." yep, they were in the truck. and stupid me, i used my spare set the other day when i didnt feel like digging through my work clothes when i needed to get something out on sunday. at this point i wasnt really upset, mad, pissed, irratated or bummed out. its 6 am and im in my work clothes and i am now delaying my day (gotta get in 8hrs)..... what better time to break into my truck!!!!!

I went to the barn and wandered around for a few minutes, looked for things i could use, weighed my options and paced back and forth trying to figure out if i wanted to just use my moms truck or i was going to be the stubborn bull-headed offspring of my dad..... I wasnt about to willingly get a smack to the face the whole day so i pressed on with breaking into my truck.

I got out the plastic window/door framing shims and started to open up the gap in the door, at this point it was about 6:15 and im thinking WTF, i cant believe im doing this..... I got the shims in, I went back to the barn to the barn to get a piece of 3/16" brake line.... this isnt just any piece of 3/16" brake line though, it just happens to be the 48" long piece that i need to finish the brakes on the trail rig and that also broke 2, yep TWO double flare dies 2 nights before. I figured i'd be a good way to make this POS brake line pay for itself!

So there i am bending this brake line into a helical shape to get it shimmied through the door seal and not tearing up the paint. I pull it out about 4 times before i finally thought about using some soap on the weather seal so it doesnt get torn up while im wrestling with it and trying to get the right profile on the end to get around everything and still hook onto the keys in the ignition. I know, your thinking why the hell are you doing that when you can just push the unlock button.... You see, the gm engineers thought of that already.... the "theft deterant" system disables the "unlock" function of the switch after a certain amount of time, being almost 4 days after i locked the truck i was well past the "grace period" if you will.... I was just about to get a hold on the keys when i thought to myself "when you get the keys what are you going to do with them? pull them through the 1/4" gap you pried in the door?" I said F-that, went into the house and looked up the number for on star, i didnt care if it cost me $200, i was done screwing with the truck.... this was my phone call:

akmaheed: hellow this is akmaheed with onstar how can i help you?
me: I have a truck that has the keys locked in it and i was wondering if you can unlock it
a: what vehicle is this?
me: a 2004 silverado
a: what is you acct. number?
me: well you see, i had onstar at one point but it is now disconnected, can we hook it back up?
a: what is your last name?
me: i gave it to him
a: well i dont see that truck on your acct?
me: what vehicles are there?
a: a 2003 silverado
me: well maybe thats it?
a: whats the vin number?
me:2435hfjeoijtregf854t
a: nope thats not it, let me check something......



...........




...........

a: ahhh here it is, yep, you had service but it is now disconnected.....
me: what do i have to do to get it hooked back up?
a: well its a simple process, you just need to push the onstar button in the truck and then we hook it up
me: well thats my problem..... i cant get in the truck to do that....
a: well sir, im not sure.
me: well what if i COULD!!!! push that button (thinking i could hit it with my POS 3/16" brake line!!!!!)
a: its not that easy sir, theres a few step setup process involved...
me: what?! i thought all i had to do was push the button!?
a: im sorry sir, i cant help you with remote unlock service
me: but dont you have all of the info to set me back up on record already?
a: no sir.....
me: ok, fair enought... thanks anyways
a: but if you would like i can set up your acct. now so that when you do get into your vehicle you can have onstar!
me: why the hell would i do that?! you havent done shit for me!

[click]

the next call is to the dealer, Im going to have a key made!!!!!!!!

its now 7:00 am, im covered in dust and dirt from scrounging around in the barn looking for things to use..... I finally dig up the local dealerships number, no answer. I call again, no answer, again,again,again.... hopeing SOMEONE is there...... no dice. I look up the hours in the phone book, 9am..... "no way, i wouldnt get to work until 10:30!!!!"

Now im determined, i go back out to the truck with a new plan. I went back after the keys in the ignition... this time i got them hooked with my very creatively shaped piece of 3/16" POS brake line that broke 2 double flare dies!!!!!!! I go to push them out, a little pressure but not too much! when click click click click click (panic sets in) [insert sound of keys falling to the floor here.] $HIT! GOD DAMN THIS PIECE OF $SHIT PILE OF F-ING STEEL, I HATE THIS F-ING TRUCK. F-THIS, YOUR A PIECE OF $HIT... DAMN-IT!!!!!!!!! (well shucks)

after i composed myself a bit i went back after the keys, this time my 48" brake line is too short by about a foot.... I wonder back into the barn to search for another tool to get the job done.. the whole time im thinking but that brake line was working great and i already have the right bend to it... I grabbed another piece of 3/16" brake line and welded them together! (after about 3 failed tries i finally found out how) making a 72" long whip LOL i ground the weld down and went back to the truck with more determination than i ever had before! I go them hooked and as im very carefully transporting them to the seat so i can push the unlock button on the key fob the brake line bounces and they fall between the seat and the door..... a very calm under the breath "$hit" came out.... by this time the sun is getting pretty bright and my tinted windows are just about eliminating my ability to see into the truck.... I'm now sitting on the hood with one hand blocking the light from making a glare i cant see through while the other shimmies the brake line between the seat and the door in hopes of hooking the keys.... after a few minutes i go them hooked and to the seat.... I was so joyed at this point i quickly aligned the key fob just right, held my breath and pushed the button with the 72" helical shaped whip of a brake line...... i closed my eyes when [kerchunk] "holy shit!!!! whooooo hooooooo!!!!! I did it!!!!!!! no piece of shit truck and its "theft deterant" system is going to get the best of me!!!!!!!!!!" ok, enought celebration.... I started the truck, went in a grabbed a nice cold glass of water, washed my hands and brushed off the cob webs and dust. I was finally off to work 1 hour and 20 minutes after i realized you should never leave your spare set of keys in the truck!


ok, im done... that took an hour. I hope you enjoyed the story of my morning as much as i enjoyed actually living it!
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Old July 26th, 2011, 02:26 PM   #2
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You've been a GLFWDA member longer than I've been alive...
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Old July 26th, 2011, 02:28 PM   #3
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Old July 26th, 2011, 02:33 PM   #4
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t.f.l.t.r.
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Old July 26th, 2011, 02:36 PM   #5
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I have ADD & can't read something more than a comic.
fixed it for ya.
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Old July 26th, 2011, 02:39 PM   #6
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me: what do i have to do to get it hooked back up?
a: well its a simple process, you just need to push the onstar button in the truck and then we hook it up


Glad you were finally able to get into your truck!

I locked my keys in my truck 2 years ago in January when I was borrowing a car hauler from Steve G. I backed up my truck through the snow, and was backing up to hook up the trailer. I jumped out of the truck to see how close I was to the trailer and did not realize that my elbow hit the lock button. It was windy (and cold) and the wind blew the door shut.

Being windy in the single digits, with the truck still running I was pretty pissed off. Luckly Steve had a few shims and we were able to get the door of the old dodge open enough to get a broom handle in to push the unlock button.

Thankfully it only took us 5 mins to get it recovered.


Hope your day went better then your journy this morning!
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Old July 26th, 2011, 03:02 PM   #7
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I read that all, now I am late leaving work! thanks a lot!

glad you got it!
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Old July 26th, 2011, 03:16 PM   #8
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This was not me!!!!
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Old July 26th, 2011, 03:23 PM   #9
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You must have been really bored....
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Old July 26th, 2011, 03:41 PM   #10
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I have made the exact same call to onstar before. I was pissed. BTW, you can't press the unlock button, but it is easy to flip the unlock switch forward that is right above the armrest on the door itself.
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Old July 26th, 2011, 03:47 PM   #11
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fixed it for ya.
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