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Old April 4th, 2010, 10:34 PM   #21
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do you think that 2 people must get married or is it acceptable to continue dating for long periods of time? me and the gf had a major fight the other day and it sparked my curiosity on what other people thought about marriage in general.
I think the biggest issue is whether both people are on the same page. If they are, then things are going well and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If not, problems arise, as you're seeing here.


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my though is that marriage is stupid, outdated, has a 50% failure rate, and is a religious tradition that doesn't fit modern society IMO. i for one am not religious and do not believe in any god, or any higher power or whatever else people believe in these days.
Again, both people need to be on the same page. Simply getting married doesn't fix underlying problems, and it certainly doesn't make immature people suddenly grow up.

I'm a divorce attorney by trade. Divorce and custody, day in and day out. I don't think that marriage is outdated, but I do believe that many people's expectations for life are fundamentally incompatible with lifelong commitment, whether married or otherwise. We don't do much to impart in young people the skills necessary to make good choices in long-term partners, or to value the good things that come from the hard work that is required to nurture a life-long commitment to someone you love, respect, and admire.

What marriage does do, though, is provide a structure for managing the breakdown of a long-term relationship. The division of property and debt accumulated during the marriage, pensions, and other things that were jointly worked-for, obtained, or incurred during the relationship, marriage provides a framework for equitably determining whose stuff is whose. Absent a marriage, these issues need to be resolved piecemeal and at substantially greater expense. Real estate ownership, for example, regularly proves to be very problematic when the relationship ends but both parties are still on the deed and note. And some issues - pension division, debt division - simply don't have an effective mechanism for division absent the structure of marriage.


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what marriage to me means is a piece of paper that legally declares i'm with someone, and a ring on your finger that tells other people that your taken. you don't need paper and an expensive ring for that...
Yeah, it does those things which are not important to you. But it also does other things which might be useful in your future, or which are useful to other folks. Ultimately, the choice to marry or to cohabit is a personal decision that each couple needs to make for themselves. I've seen successful long-term cohabitation situations that rival the best marriage, and I've seen tons of marriages which were poorly planned, foolishly entered-into, and which created chaos, destruction, and pain for all involved.

The ultimate outcome of either cohabitation or marriage comes down to the expectations of the participants and whether each party is doing what they agreed to do.
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Old April 4th, 2010, 11:13 PM   #22
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For you, marriage is a bad choice. Spreading your genes is also not in the best interest of the general population.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 08:18 AM   #23
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then why do marriages have a roughly 50% success rate nowadays?
Complacency. People don't try as hard as they did in the past.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 08:27 AM   #24
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As a man whom has been married for 6 years, I say don't do it.

The day the rings go on the fingers, both sides change. I'm probably bias because I'm a man, but I think women change the most.

From my experience, women put on a front to get men to marry them. The sex is better, the personality is great, and they trick you into thinking this is what you want for the rest of your life, then whammo, you get married and everything changes.

Maybe I am bitter. But I've noticed changes in my wife that I don't like. I'm not sure where the long road is going to take me, but if I do ever get divorced, the first stop will be to get a vasectomy, and maybe I'll cut off my ring finger. I will never get married again.

One of my co-workers has been married 3 times, her boyfreind has been married twice. They have decided not to get married, but to live the rest of their lives together. They are very smart people that realize not to ruin a good relationship with a marriage.

Don't let the rest of the married guys on this site bully you into getting married. They are just want you to feel the same pain they do.

IMO you didn't date long enough. I am getting married in September and I have no doubt that things wont change (too much) because we have been together for 7 years already.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 08:28 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by keithshotrodshop View Post
As a man whom has been married for 6 years, I say don't do it.

The day the rings go on the fingers, both sides change. I'm probably bias because I'm a man, but I think women change the most.

From my experience, women put on a front to get men to marry them. The sex is better, the personality is great, and they trick you into thinking this is what you want for the rest of your life, then whammo, you get married and everything changes.

Maybe I am bitter. But I've noticed changes in my wife that I don't like. I'm not sure where the long road is going to take me, but if I do ever get divorced, the first stop will be to get a vasectomy, and maybe I'll cut off my ring finger. I will never get married again.


One of my co-workers has been married 3 times, her boyfreind has been married twice. They have decided not to get married, but to live the rest of their lives together. They are very smart people that realize not to ruin a good relationship with a marriage.

Don't let the rest of the married guys on this site bully you into getting married. They are just want you to feel the same pain they do.


As a man that has been married for almost 30 years I will tell you when you get through the point your at now you will be amazed at how good marriage gets.

Ask yourself a few things, like, do you try to keep her liking you as much as you tried to get her to like you when you met.
Is sex so important that you would shit can a marriage over it.
Maybe the sex with you isn't so great.
Are you superficial and was never really in love with the person.
Are you the man of the house, do you accept the roll as the protector and foundation that your relationship rests on, or are you pussing out.

where your at you might find you take a good look in the mirror and most of the problems are there and all of the answers are there.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 08:33 AM   #26
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There are many financial benefits for being married. Other then that, it's just a paper. (if you're not religious"
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Old April 5th, 2010, 08:56 AM   #27
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I'm having problems with my wife. She was not great in bed before we got married and now over the years, she has changed. Now she wants to suck my doinger all the time (she likes to "wake me up" with a bj) and she's really developed a fondness for anal sex. Lately shes been asking me to have a 3 way with her and our hot 18 yo baby sitter. She says she wants me to watch the baby sitter shave her naughty bits then she insists that I screw the 18 yo in front of her. She also says wants to push on my butt cheeks to help me "pile drive" the baby sitter.

Having sex 8-15 times a week is getting annoying. It is really cutting into my t.v. time.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 09:19 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nuggets View Post
I'm having problems with my wife. She was not great in bed before we got married and now over the years, she has changed. Now she wants to suck my doinger all the time (she likes to "wake me up" with a bj) and she's really developed a fondness for anal sex. Lately shes been asking me to have a 3 way with her and our hot 18 yo baby sitter. She says she wants me to watch the baby sitter shave her naughty bits then she insists that I screw the 18 yo in front of her. She also says wants to push on my butt cheeks to help me "pile drive" the baby sitter.

Having sex 8-15 times a week is getting annoying. It is really cutting into my t.v. time.
Does the babysitter like cheese?????
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Old April 5th, 2010, 09:22 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by Nuggets View Post
I'm having problems with my wife. She was not great in bed before we got married and now over the years, she has changed. Now she wants to suck my doinger all the time (she likes to "wake me up" with a bj) and she's really developed a fondness for anal sex. Lately shes been asking me to have a 3 way with her and our hot 18 yo baby sitter. She says she wants me to watch the baby sitter shave her naughty bits then she insists that I screw the 18 yo in front of her. She also says wants to push on my butt cheeks to help me "pile drive" the baby sitter.*

Having sex 8-15 times a week is getting annoying. It is really cutting into my t.v. time.
* Portions of story embellished or completely made up.

fixed
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Old April 5th, 2010, 09:24 AM   #30
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IMO you didn't date long enough. I am getting married in September and I have no doubt that things wont change (too much) because we have been together for 7 years already.
We were together 5 years before we got married. She became a completely different person once we had kids.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 09:45 AM   #31
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We were together 5 years before we got married. She became a completely different person once we had kids.
You never mentioned kids. That changes everything.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 11:29 AM   #32
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* Portions of story embellished or completely made up.

fixed
If I use Obama standards, this is a true story.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 11:31 AM   #33
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Does the babysitter like cheese?????
No. She wanted to make sure I was circumsized before she participated in the "festivities".
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Old April 5th, 2010, 03:48 PM   #34
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Is it me, or does

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Originally Posted by L4CX View Post
John 15:13
sound a lot like

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pokerob View Post
bros before hoes

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Old April 5th, 2010, 04:57 PM   #35
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Well next month will be 32 years for me. I'd do it again in a heart beat. Hands down, no questions asked. With that said, it takes work and commitment. But so does anything else if you really care about it.

A marriage is way more than religious. It's a commitment. It's a trust. It's a friendship. Not just a buddy friendship or trust but a deep trust that says "I can trust my life and my deepest thoughts and emotions with this person". It's the person who will care for you if you are sick, the person who "wants" to be with you even in the bad times.

There are those of you that will scoff and say "well the bitch I married isn't that way". Well then, you married the wrong person and you were too dumb to see it in advance. Or just maybe, SHE married the wrong person.

Marriage isn't about putting a ring on a finger like you are going steady. I have rarely worn my wedding ring in the past 20 years. But I'm still faithful to my wife. The ring really doesn't mean much to me. What means much to me is that when I go home at night, my best friend is there waiting for me. (and no, I don't mean the dog)

Keith, I'm sorry to say that 6 years of marriage doesn't mean shit. She changed? So have you, I'll guarantee it. Are you as committed to her as your are your hobbies? How bout your kids? If you really think your marriage isn't as rosy as it should be, start by doing an honest look in the mirror. Was it what you expected or wanted? If not, is it her fault or yours? Were your expectations too high? Are you willing to clean up after a puking kid (or wife) instead of going out into the barn to work on a car? In other words, are YOU putting in the commitment that you think she isn't?

It's rarely a one sided problem.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 05:26 PM   #36
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i've been with my gf for 2 yrs and 1 month as of the first of april. i used to wanna be with her, now i don't. but she's so damn clingy even if i piss her off all the time, which usually happens. she won't take her shit and leave. thats what i can't figure out. she loves me sooo much she's made dumping her impossible. trust me i've tried more then once. her problem is she thinks shes mature when she's really not. and now when i tell her i really don't wanna get married, she throws a shit fit, but still won't leave.
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Old April 5th, 2010, 05:27 PM   #37
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Is it me, or does



sound a lot like




If you didn't realize that it's talking about Brothers in a General Sense, as in a Friend, Not Gender specific, then yeah, It could sound like that. My Brother told me that once when my wife called me during his Bachelor party. I almost punched him in the face, but I'm just way too mellow when I'm drunk (well, At least that One single time)

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We were together 5 years before we got married. She became a completely different person once we had kids.
This surprises you? Humans change, It's part of our Nature. I don't think like I did in High school, Or in College for that matter. Marriage is about excepting that change and doing your best to stick to the Commitment you made. You're not saying "I do" to just the person at the alter, You're saying "I do" to that person, for life, no matter who they turn into. This misunderstanding is a reason, IMO, that most people get a Divorce. "You're not the same person I married"....well no Duh Shurlock. <---Thinking about using that the next time I hear it. . Not trying to be Offensive or anything

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Well next month will be 32 years for me......

Keith, I'm sorry to say that 6 years of marriage doesn't mean shit. She changed? So have you, I'll guarantee it. Are you as committed to her as your are your hobbies? How bout your kids? If you really think your marriage isn't as rosy as it should be, start by doing an honest look in the mirror. Was it what you expected or wanted? If not, is it her fault or yours? Were your expectations too high? Are you willing to clean up after a puking kid (or wife) instead of going out into the barn to work on a car? In other words, are YOU putting in the commitment that you think she isn't?

It's rarely a one sided problem.
Very well put. I wish I could say I have had 32 years under the belt. Embarrassingly enough, With all the opinion I've posted, I've only been married for 3. It makes me glad though to see that both my wife and I agree with someone that has successfully made it 32. I can only hope we make it there. I doubt we won't. <---Wait what? :teehee
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Old April 5th, 2010, 06:02 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by Kodiak450r View Post
i've been with my gf for 2 yrs and 1 month as of the first of april. i used to wanna be with her, now i don't. but she's so damn clingy even if i piss her off all the time, which usually happens. she won't take her shit and leave. thats what i can't figure out. she loves me sooo much she's made dumping her impossible. trust me i've tried more then once. her problem is she thinks shes mature when she's really not. and now when i tell her i really don't wanna get married, she throws a shit fit, but still won't leave.
So this has nothing to do with marriage and everything to do with you not be able to dump some broad?!
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Old April 5th, 2010, 06:13 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by Kodiak450r View Post
do you think that 2 people must get married or is it acceptable to continue dating for long periods of time? me and the gf had a major fight the other day and it sparked my curiosity on what other people thought about marriage in general.

my though is that marriage is stupid, outdated, has a 50% failure rate, and is a religious tradition that doesn't fit modern society IMO. i for one am not religious and do not believe in any god, or any higher power or whatever else people believe in these days.

what marriage to me means is a piece of paper that legally declares i'm with someone, and a ring on your finger that tells other people that your taken. you don't need paper and an expensive ring for that...
15 yr old girls are usually clingy..stay away from middle schools...and yr a douche bag
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Old April 5th, 2010, 07:26 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by Kodiak450r View Post
do you think that 2 people must get married or is it acceptable to continue dating for long periods of time? me and the gf had a major fight the other day and it sparked my curiosity on what other people thought about marriage in general.

my though is that marriage is stupid, outdated, has a 50% failure rate, and is a religious tradition that doesn't fit modern society IMO. i for one am not religious and do not believe in any god, or any higher power or whatever else people believe in these days.

what marriage to me means is a piece of paper that legally declares i'm with someone, and a ring on your finger that tells other people that your taken. you don't need paper and an expensive ring for that...
Was a vacuum cleaner involved?
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