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Old March 18th, 2010, 09:03 PM   #301
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It really wasn't a dig. Most fathers are very protective of their daughters because we were once horny teenagers too.

Toes and I seem like hardasses and to some degree we are. I can't vouch for Toes, but in my house, we give our childeren lots of love and praise. The big thing is accountabilty, hence the strict rules. I don't run my house like a concentration camp but my kids know that if a rule is broken, a punishment will follow. After the punishment (time out, spanking, grounding, loss of a privilage, etc.), I take time to talk to my girls to let them know what they did wrong. I also tell them I love them and give them lots of hugs.

As Toes said, when a rule gets broken, a punishment follows. Just like in the big kid's world.
I didnít think it was a dig, I was just curious why you thought that, because in fact I do have a daughter. She just turned 20 last week. For nearly 2 years she has been living with very minimal parental supervision. There have been no problems. And please donít interpret that to mean that I donít think that sheís done anything that I wouldnít want her to do, Iím sure she has. But whatever she has done has not prevented her from continuing to become a productive member of society.

I believe that a big part of why she has been able to handle this amount of freedom at such a young age is that rather than strictly managing her life with all sorts of rules and punishments, we gave her the freedom to learn to manage her own life. She does not need the threat of punishment to know that she shouldnít stay out to late, sheís learned that if she stays out to late that she will be to tired the next day to do what she wants or needs to do. I too am protective of my daughter, but I realized long ago that I would not be able to be there every second of every day to physically protect her, so I figured that the best way for me to protect her was to allow her to learn how to protect herself before she needed to.

I have not forgotten what it was like to be a horny teenager. But I also have not forgotten how the girls with strict parents acted. Giving your daughters boyfriends a hard time will not protect her from horny teenage boys, it will just make her do everything possible to not bring them home to meet you. She will still be seeing the boyfriend, you just wonít know about it. I saw it happen many times. If she does manage to find a boy that thinks itís important to respect oneís parents he will want no part of this and will not date your daughter. So your daughter will be left with boys who donít care about meeting her father.
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Old March 18th, 2010, 10:16 PM   #302
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I didnít think it was a dig, I was just curious why you thought that, because in fact I do have a daughter. She just turned 20 last week. For nearly 2 years she has been living with very minimal parental supervision. There have been no problems. And please donít interpret that to mean that I donít think that sheís done anything that I wouldnít want her to do, Iím sure she has. But whatever she has done has not prevented her from continuing to become a productive member of society.

I believe that a big part of why she has been able to handle this amount of freedom at such a young age is that rather than strictly managing her life with all sorts of rules and punishments, we gave her the freedom to learn to manage her own life. She does not need the threat of punishment to know that she shouldnít stay out to late, sheís learned that if she stays out to late that she will be to tired the next day to do what she wants or needs to do. I too am protective of my daughter, but I realized long ago that I would not be able to be there every second of every day to physically protect her, so I figured that the best way for me to protect her was to allow her to learn how to protect herself before she needed to.

I have not forgotten what it was like to be a horny teenager. But I also have not forgotten how the girls with strict parents acted. Giving your daughters boyfriends a hard time will not protect her from horny teenage boys, it will just make her do everything possible to not bring them home to meet you. She will still be seeing the boyfriend, you just wonít know about it. I saw it happen many times. If she does manage to find a boy that thinks itís important to respect oneís parents he will want no part of this and will not date your daughter. So your daughter will be left with boys who donít care about meeting her father.
I'm Glad that worked for you, and I think it's a Circumstancal situation. I sounds to me like they don't sit at home yelling at thier kids. They just know bounderies. They learn the just as anybody else does. You cross it, You get punished. You don't do it agian. I would assume In the case of your daughter she is no different; She finds the boundary, if she crosses it and it she screws up, She learns not to do it again. So she doesn't.

I agree with Toes and Nuggets though. I think that Being Strict but also being Loving with your children is the best advice. It's a widely excepted way of raising children and just about any nanny will probably recommend it.

But at the same time I agree with you, we shouldn't stifle our kids with rules and they should learn by them selves. I just think that in order to really show you care for someone you have to look out for thier best interests and as a parent that sometime means saying no, or "putting your foot down".
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Old March 18th, 2010, 11:01 PM   #303
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I didnít think it was a dig, I was just curious why you thought that, because in fact I do have a daughter. She just turned 20 last week. For nearly 2 years she has been living with very minimal parental supervision. There have been no problems. And please donít interpret that to mean that I donít think that sheís done anything that I wouldnít want her to do, Iím sure she has. But whatever she has done has not prevented her from continuing to become a productive member of society.

I believe that a big part of why she has been able to handle this amount of freedom at such a young age is that rather than strictly managing her life with all sorts of rules and punishments, we gave her the freedom to learn to manage her own life. She does not need the threat of punishment to know that she shouldnít stay out to late, sheís learned that if she stays out to late that she will be to tired the next day to do what she wants or needs to do. I too am protective of my daughter, but I realized long ago that I would not be able to be there every second of every day to physically protect her, so I figured that the best way for me to protect her was to allow her to learn how to protect herself before she needed to.

I have not forgotten what it was like to be a horny teenager. But I also have not forgotten how the girls with strict parents acted. Giving your daughters boyfriends a hard time will not protect her from horny teenage boys, it will just make her do everything possible to not bring them home to meet you. She will still be seeing the boyfriend, you just wonít know about it. I saw it happen many times. If she does manage to find a boy that thinks itís important to respect oneís parents he will want no part of this and will not date your daughter. So your daughter will be left with boys who donít care about meeting her father.
We each have a different approach to the same problem.

I had a cop dad so following the rules was a big part of my upbringing. Dad didn't mess around, he never asked me to do anything twice. If he had to, I was sure to get my ass beat. On the flip side, he treated me like a man from the time I was a very early teenager. I looked up to him until the day he died.

Look at the bright side, even if you don't agree to my parenting methods, at least I'm not smoking pot in front of my kids!
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Old March 19th, 2010, 01:58 AM   #304
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We each have a different approach to the same problem.

I had a cop dad so following the rules was a big part of my upbringing. Dad didn't mess around, he never asked me to do anything twice. If he had to, I was sure to get my ass beat. On the flip side, he treated me like a man from the time I was a very early teenager. I looked up to him until the day he died.

Look at the bright side, even if you don't agree to my parenting methods, at least I'm not smoking pot in front of my kids!
My ex wife was one of those girls that was afraid to let her dad meet any of her boyfriends because she was afraid of what he'd do. He was a cop. They haven't spoken in at least 5 years.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 05:09 AM   #305
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Would you agree that our world is getting worse or better?
Our world is the same .

People are going thru a cycle We tend do do the same things over and over.

Last edited by disorder xj; March 19th, 2010 at 05:16 AM.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 07:33 AM   #306
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Our world is the same .

People are going thru a cycle We tend do do the same things over and over.
Did you tell Al Gore? I'm sure he would be glad to hear that.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 07:48 AM   #307
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My ex wife was one of those girls that was afraid to let her dad meet any of her boyfriends because she was afraid of what he'd do. He was a cop. They haven't spoken in at least 5 years.
I wouldn't be that bad. I just plan on letting them know who's boss at first. If they are a good person then we may just chum up. If the boy's relationship with my daughter turns serious, I'll have a man to man talk with the boy about how I feel abour pregnancy, supporting a family, etc. It's my job as a parent to protect my kids.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 12:51 PM   #308
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I wouldn't be that bad. I just plan on letting them know who's boss at first. If they are a good person then we may just chum up. If the boy's relationship with my daughter turns serious, I'll have a man to man talk with the boy about how I feel abour pregnancy, supporting a family, etc. It's my job as a parent to protect my kids.
Makes me happy to see people still think this way.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 01:37 PM   #309
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Makes me happy to see people still think this way.
Yup, even non-Christians can have a good family life.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 03:34 PM   #310
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Yup, even non-Christians can have a good family life.
I wasn't even talking about Christian/Non Christian. I was talking about the "If you spank your kid they'll end up being murders" group of people. Can't stand them.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 03:36 PM   #311
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I wasn't even talking about Christian/Non Christian. I was talking about the "If you spank your kid they'll end up being murders" group of people. Can't stand them.
You need to pray for tolerance
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Old March 19th, 2010, 07:24 PM   #312
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I wasn't even talking about Christian/Non Christian. I was talking about the "If you spank your kid they'll end up being murders" group of people. Can't stand them.
I agree with you there.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 09:30 PM   #313
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Yup, even non-Christians can have a good family life.
Thats just the cheese talking.
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