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Old February 5th, 2010, 06:47 PM   #41
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me and my cousin tried this idea at the campground at silver lake
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Old February 5th, 2010, 06:48 PM   #42
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I poop in the woods every year deer hunting. Sometimes i do it twice. I happens normally right before i shoot a buck. Last time i shit in the woods i shot a 10 point. Nice.
sounds like the deer like your poop
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Old February 5th, 2010, 06:50 PM   #43
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There is a guy at work, we'll call him Fred, he is what is referred to as an opportunity bomber. he can ruin plumbing, and he has. we refer to his escapades as giving the "Muddy boot" he will make a raft of sorts made of paper, he then deposits the nastiest foul smelling turds that any critter could produce...it is foul. he leaves them on the rafts in a spiral pattern like a coiled up cobra. they even have that swept back head thing going as he steps up off them. well the day came when old Fred needed to drop a bomb he found an empty can and commenced to build a barge. he stepped up off it and stood back and admired his work for moment before leaving it behind. he said when it was fresh it was peering over the rim at him. he then went in the next stall to wipe, about 30 minutes went by before the commotion started. someone had found the cobra coiled and waiting in the can. they reported it the supervisor who came to see what the fuss was about. it was at that point things got bad. he attempted to flush the snake in the bowl when it struck. as it spun in the water on its perch it smeared the rim of the bowl and down the side like someone stepping out the swamp and jamming a boot in the bowl. as things would have it the bowl couldn't take the pressure. it started to over flow..a lot. its at that point the super called the maintenance guys. they were ill prepared for what came next. the one guy was kinda a new so he went in first plunger in hand...it was bad. he attempted to break it up and it gassed him. it gave him such a nose full of nasty he came out puking. in comes second guy plunger in hand, he must have thought the first guy didn't try hard enough...out he ran a moment later gagging for his breath. about an hour goes by the guys come back with a shovel and a waste basket. they scooped out the nightmare turd and gave it a final resting place in the dumpster out back wrapped in 3 garbage bags so it would break on the way there.
the investigation was awe inspired. the management wanted anyone to come forward with info into the poop bandits act of terror. no one came. about a week later they got a repeat performance and it was just about the same. only the maintenance guys refused to come. the super had to hand shovel it out with a rubber gloved hand...it was awesome. he gagged for days every time he walked past that restroom.
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Old February 5th, 2010, 06:53 PM   #44
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There is a guy at work, we'll call him Fred, he is what is referred to as an opportunity bomber. he can ruin plumbing, and he has. we refer to his escapades as giving the "Muddy boot" he will make a raft of sorts made of paper, he then deposits the nastiest foul smelling turds that any critter could produce...it is foul. he leaves them on the rafts in a spiral pattern like a coiled up cobra. they even have that swept back head thing going as he steps up off them. well the day came when old Fred needed to drop a bomb he found an empty can and commenced to build a barge. he stepped up off it and stood back and admired his work for moment before leaving it behind. he said when it was fresh it was peering over the rim at him. he then went in the next stall to wipe, about 30 minutes went by before the commotion started. someone had found the cobra coiled and waiting in the can. they reported it the supervisor who came to see what the fuss was about. it was at that point things got bad. he attempted to flush the snake in the bowl when it struck. as it spun in the water on its perch it smeared the rim of the bowl and down the side like someone stepping out the swamp and jamming a boot in the bowl. as things would have it the bowl couldn't take the pressure. it started to over flow..a lot. its at that point the super called the maintenance guys. they were ill prepared for what came next. the one guy was kinda a new so he went in first plunger in hand...it was bad. he attempted to break it up and it gassed him. it gave him such a nose full of nasty he came out puking. in comes second guy plunger in hand, he must have thought the first guy didn't try hard enough...out he ran a moment later gagging for his breath. about an hour goes by the guys come back with a shovel and a waste basket. they scooped out the nightmare turd and gave it a final resting place in the dumpster out back wrapped in 3 garbage bags so it would break on the way there.
the investigation was awe inspired. the management wanted anyone to come forward with info into the poop bandits act of terror. no one came. about a week later they got a repeat performance and it was just about the same. only the maintenance guys refused to come. the super had to hand shovel it out with a rubber gloved hand...it was awesome. he gagged for days every time he walked past that restroom.

this guy takes the cake but who knows if its real even if its not its still funny. sorry if its a im new

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Old February 5th, 2010, 06:56 PM   #45
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this guy takes the cake but who knows if its real even if its not its still funny. sorry if its a im new

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i dont think anyone can make up this good of a story
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Old February 5th, 2010, 07:31 PM   #46
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Who has the best "poop" story?

A friend at work told me this one. He had gone to Lowe's to get some stuff. anyways he hates public restrooms and needed to go bad so he said fukc it and headed to the rear of the store. upon arriving there he pushed open a stall door to see if it was clean... it wasn't. as he started to turn to walk away his mind caught hold of what it just saw. he said it was the biggest turd he had ever seen. it had to 3-4" in diameter and a good foot long! he said it laid in the bowl like a wet roll of paper towel. just as he was about to walk away and use the next stall he said to himself what the hell! ..he reached up with his foot and hit the lever to flush it. now mind you this is Lowe's. good heavy duty plumbing...it wouldn't budge. the turd had the staying power of a cinder block. he said he laughed as he went away thinking of the poor bastard that had to clean the can that night.
Maybe I have a small butthole....but you do realize 3" DIAMETER is the equivalent to a regulation NHL hockey puck....How long was this beast? 6 feet?
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Old February 5th, 2010, 07:41 PM   #47
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There is a guy at work, we'll call him Fred, .......
Didn't know your name was Fred....
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Old February 5th, 2010, 07:58 PM   #48
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Didn't know your name was Fred....
Its no me mon!

this one is very true and the company did go head hunting a couple times for the Poop Bandit.
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Old February 5th, 2010, 08:31 PM   #49
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I think I just wasted 3 days of my life reading this thread...lol I didn't know it was possible to start threads like this. Congrats Yetti!!
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Old February 5th, 2010, 08:42 PM   #50
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Yetti/Fred is my new hero.

I can't even come close to any of these, aside from driving with a friend and letting a SBD fly and blaming it on the cattle we passed. He didn't catch on till he seen me grinning then spun both windows down. It was -10 out and we were going freeway speed. We froze but I was still laughing.
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Old February 5th, 2010, 08:46 PM   #51
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my worst story is....

i was eating at that fish fry place across from overtyme with my gf and her parents. i had to shit bad so i went to the bathroom... it was straight blow out diahhrea and it smelld horid so i gave myself a coutisy flush and i dont know why but i looked down and saw the toilet was plugged and was about to flood onto my ass. so i stand up kinda with a dirty ass and wipe my butt and throw the tp into the bowl while its pouring all over the floor and run out of the room. i told my girlfriedn we had to go so we left. as we were leaving i heard someone yell "DANNY THE MENS ROOM IS FLOODING" so i ran out and finished shitting at mcdonalds

lol
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Old February 5th, 2010, 08:49 PM   #52
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ok one more

the gf and i were cruising down woodward on the cbr, we needed to get a headlight real quick so i stopped at a murrays in hines park. mind you were the only 2 white people there. so she says she has to pee so i go to the bathroom with her. she pees and waits for me to pee. so im standing there peeing and i farted ya know how you have the piss fart, yea well it was wet, so i shit my pants infront of my girlfriend in hines park. good times
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Old February 5th, 2010, 09:01 PM   #53
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I shit a turd so big that my pants wouldn't stay up when I was done.
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Old February 5th, 2010, 09:10 PM   #54
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I shit a turd so big that my pants wouldn't stay up when I was done.
I wouldn't put it past your abilities
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Old February 5th, 2010, 09:13 PM   #55
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I shit a turd so big that my pants wouldn't stay up when I was done.
I love those ones, after you are done you feel accomplished, like a new man almost.

I remember in elementary school there was this kid named Steven who would always find the nastiest shits in the toilets at our school. I've seen those coils Yetti was talking about. Maybe not that long of a coil but I've seen those shits in elementary where the shit curls around the bowl like 2 or 3 or 4 times.
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Old February 5th, 2010, 09:13 PM   #56
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Dammit fukc now I have to shit. I knew I shouldn't have posted in this thread.
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Old February 5th, 2010, 11:09 PM   #57
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I cant believe I just wasted enough time to read 3 pages worth of shit
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Old February 5th, 2010, 11:35 PM   #58
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Backpacking somewhere near Harpers Ferry WV on the AT. Had been eating Mountain House meals for several days, which seem to do a number on me. Walking up a hill I had to fart and, well, I sharted.... BAD. Good thing I brought a second pair of pants, as I left the shitty ones in the woods.
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Old February 6th, 2010, 03:13 AM   #59
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ok one more

the gf and i were cruising down woodward on the cbr, we needed to get a headlight real quick so i stopped at a murrays in hines park. mind you were the only 2 white people there. so she says she has to pee so i go to the bathroom with her. she pees and waits for me to pee. so im standing there peeing and i farted ya know how you have the piss fart, yea well it was wet, so i shit my pants infront of my girlfriend in hines park. good times
sorry, i just find this funny
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Old February 6th, 2010, 08:39 AM   #60
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I got a poo story!!!!!!!!!

My friend John went to go poo at a Kroger bathroom. He is sitting comfortably on the throne. Then he hears high heels clicking on the tile floor. Now he realizes what those little odd hanging trash containers on the stall walls are for.

He was in the woman's bathroom growing a tail!!!!!

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