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Old January 18th, 2010, 08:18 PM   #1
cglenn
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Default Sh*t my dad says

It's a Twitter account, and probably NSFW due to language, but I don't care, this is hilarious.
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

"No presents goddamit. I'm turning 74. I don't need you to commemorate that with a fucking Barnes and Noble gift card."

"Mom is smarter than you...No? Well, ask yourself this; has mom ever unknowingly had toilet paper hanging out of her ass?...Mom 1. You 0"
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Old January 18th, 2010, 08:52 PM   #2
curbdog17
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Thats friggin great
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Old January 18th, 2010, 08:53 PM   #3
bj house
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fantastic thanks I think that I hit the "more" button four or five times.
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Old January 18th, 2010, 09:00 PM   #4
Kodiak450r
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"I wanted to see Detroit win. I've been there. It's like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news."
awesome. lol
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Old January 18th, 2010, 09:08 PM   #5
cglenn
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"Do these announcers ever shut the fukc up? Don't ever say stuff just because you think you should. That's the definition of an asshole."

"I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it"
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Old January 18th, 2010, 09:11 PM   #6
Spence1986
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"Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."


lmao
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Old January 18th, 2010, 09:18 PM   #7
forbyefore
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What a cool old man. I hope I am that ornery when I am old.
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Old January 18th, 2010, 11:44 PM   #8
Blazin_wheeler
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"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."
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Old January 19th, 2010, 12:10 AM   #9
Soy_bomb
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http://twitter.com/COMMON_SQUIRREL
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Old January 19th, 2010, 12:29 AM   #10
Blazin_wheeler
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soy_bomb View Post
that squirrel updates pretty often.
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Old January 19th, 2010, 12:29 AM   #11
cglenn
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"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."
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Old January 19th, 2010, 05:21 AM   #12
jimhri
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he's my hero.

he should move to michigan and run for governor.
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Old January 19th, 2010, 05:55 AM   #13
MusKegon_ZJ_gurl
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"You're gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it."

Nice web find!
I shot coffee out my nose reading it.
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Old January 19th, 2010, 06:03 AM   #14
XXXJ
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Quote:
We’re banned from the dog park. Well, I guess it’s okay to hump, and it’s okay to bark, but both at the same time freaks people out."
Quote:
Yes I got him a gift. He had a kidney stone. You piss a rock through your pecker, you deserve more than just a pat on the fucking back.
wow
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Old January 19th, 2010, 06:06 AM   #15
unluckyal
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that is awesome
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Old January 19th, 2010, 06:58 AM   #16
yellowjeeperman
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Haha I get the facebook group updates.
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Old January 19th, 2010, 01:35 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowjeeperman View Post
Haha I get the facebook group updates.
...and now I get them too.
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