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Old October 27th, 2009, 12:24 PM   #1
SANDVIPR
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Default The Man Test

THE MAN TEST


1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a
queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and
have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing
the Oprah diet.....Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it
grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch
except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about
how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here,
Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat....'Bun-bun, come to daddy,
snookums!' Yep, you're queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pig’s feet, or
tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4.. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his
toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as
Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy
Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man
there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four
different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as
well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space
in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse
you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or
denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a
slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs
that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list
because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely
on the verge of being a salami smuggler.
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Old October 27th, 2009, 12:31 PM   #2
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I'm 1/8th gay.
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Old October 27th, 2009, 12:36 PM   #3
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if you have to test your manhood to make you feel better . you are gay .
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Old October 27th, 2009, 12:38 PM   #4
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It was just forwarded to me. I thought I'd pass it on for some discussion.... It had it's fun points.
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Old October 27th, 2009, 12:39 PM   #5
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LOL nice
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Old October 27th, 2009, 01:07 PM   #6
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I know gay people!
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Old October 27th, 2009, 01:13 PM   #7
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I will always own at least one cat. why? in ancient egyptian theology (which I believe highly in) cats are the rulers of the dead the undead are naturally afraid of cats as they control what happens to them in the realm of the dead. everyone should have at least one cat in their arsenal against zombies.

cats ftw.
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Old October 27th, 2009, 01:15 PM   #8
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I will always own at least one cat. why? in ancient egyptian theology (which I believe highly in) cats are the rulers of the dead the undead are naturally afraid of cats as they control what happens to them in the realm of the dead. everyone should have at least one cat in their arsenal against zombies.

cats ftw.
Then I'm all set for an army of zombies with all the cats in the house!
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Old October 27th, 2009, 02:24 PM   #9
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lol!
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Old October 27th, 2009, 02:26 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awalters View Post
I'm 1/8th gay.
I can help you become 6/8 gay.
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Old October 27th, 2009, 05:29 PM   #11
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I can help you become 6/8 gay.
How's that?
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Old October 27th, 2009, 05:34 PM   #12
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How's that?
YOU KNOW
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Old October 27th, 2009, 08:41 PM   #13
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How's that?
6" in your 8" receptacle...
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Old October 27th, 2009, 09:00 PM   #14
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Quote:
If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay.
I disagree. if you have ever been walleye fishing you know what chartreuse is.



funny shit though
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Old October 27th, 2009, 09:57 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScOoTeR View Post
I can help you become 6/8 gay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScOoTeR View Post
6" in your 8" receptacle...
Doesn't that make him 7/8 gay??

1/8 + 6/8 = 7/8
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Old October 27th, 2009, 10:05 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tie Dyed View Post
Doesn't that make him 7/8 gay??

1/8 + 6/8 = 7/8
No, because anybody claiming 6" is usually packing 5"
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Old October 27th, 2009, 10:11 PM   #17
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Quote:
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No, because anybody claiming 6" is usually packing 5"
You have obviously never experienced teh ScOoTeR
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Old October 27th, 2009, 10:14 PM   #18
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I like hairy men.
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Old October 27th, 2009, 10:19 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tie Dyed View Post
Doesn't that make him 7/8 gay??

1/8 + 6/8 = 7/8
Shouldn't that be 1/1 / 8/8 + 6/6 / 8/8 = 7/7 / 8/8?
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Old October 27th, 2009, 10:26 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlooMule View Post
Shouldn't that be 1/1 / 8/8 + 6/6 / 8/8 = 7/7 / 8/8?

No. I re-did my calculation, using 1/1 = 1, 2/2 = 2, 3/3 = 3, and 4/4 = 4

Here it is:

1/8 + 6/8 = 7/8, which means 7/7 + 1/8 = 7/8

So if 7/7 = 7

1/8 must reduce down to .25/2

So that means he is 7 .25/2 gay.
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