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Old September 12th, 2009, 04:52 AM   #1
yellowjeeperman
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Angry Mother *bleeping* Hicks!

As some of you know, the Frankenmuth Auto Fest (www.frankenmuthautofest.com) is this weekend. I just moved up here about a year ago and live on the road that runs through Frankenmuth. There are lots of idiots on bikes that love to speed up and down this road (55mph), which I could care less about.

Well I had to meet my dad to pick up his laptop and fix it while he goes to Mackinaw for the day. It was 4:00AM pitch black and foggy as hell and I hit this little piece of fun at about 50mph.



It's a shitty cellphone pic that doesn't do it justice. Thank god I was in the Jeep because that probably would have messed up a car.

Fucking hicks.
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Old September 12th, 2009, 05:14 AM   #2
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I can't tell exactly what it is from the pic. Looks like a branch lying across the road. If so, what's that have to do with guys on bikes or hicks? I guess I'm missing the point here?
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Old September 12th, 2009, 05:20 AM   #3
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I can't tell exactly what it is from the pic. Looks like a branch lying across the road. If so, what's that have to do with guys on bikes or hicks? I guess I'm missing the point here?
X2...Maybe title should say (Mother *Bleeping* Beavers)
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Old September 12th, 2009, 05:25 AM   #4
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looks like corn to me roots and all
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Old September 12th, 2009, 08:23 AM   #5
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I agree looks like an entire corn plant
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Old September 12th, 2009, 09:05 AM   #6
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Yep, tassle and all.
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Old September 12th, 2009, 09:19 AM   #7
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Yes. It is a full corn plant. I put it there.
What happened was I was driving down the road at 120mph in my fifth avenue when I had this sudden urge to stop and rip out that pos corn plant. I heard it. Seriously. It was calling me out. So I showed it what the fukc I am about. I first kicked it. Wasn't satisfying enough so I ripped it out of the ground and tossed it in the middle of the road. I got back in my car and slowly ran it over with my door open looking at its reaction to being crushed. I drove further down the road and opened up the full power of my 3.8 liter and hit about 125mph when I did the final crushing blow.

I have to agree. What does this have to do with hicks or bikes? I am neither
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Old September 12th, 2009, 09:38 AM   #8
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Yes. It is a full corn plant. I put it there.
What happened was I was driving down the road at 120mph in my fifth avenue when I had this sudden urge to stop and rip out that pos corn plant. I heard it. Seriously. It was calling me out. So I showed it what the fukc I am about. I first kicked it. Wasn't satisfying enough so I ripped it out of the ground and tossed it in the middle of the road. I got back in my car and slowly ran it over with my door open looking at its reaction to being crushed. I drove further down the road and opened up the full power of my 3.8 liter and hit about 125mph when I did the final crushing blow.

I have to agree. What does this have to do with hicks or bikes? I am neither
Thanks. I found it in the middle of the road and made love to it. I couln't find any dead dogs to fornicate that evening so the wayward corn plant had to do.
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Old September 12th, 2009, 10:40 AM   #9
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Thanks. I found it in the middle of the road and made love to it. I couln't find any dead dogs to fornicate that evening so the wayward corn plant had to do.
Did the tassels tickle your cornhole?
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Old September 12th, 2009, 12:38 PM   #10
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Did the tassels tickle your cornhole?
ROFLMAO
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Old September 12th, 2009, 12:44 PM   #11
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and a corn stalk is going to damage your car how?
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Old September 12th, 2009, 01:03 PM   #12
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corn stalks R SRS BZNS.
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Old September 12th, 2009, 01:30 PM   #13
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sounds like a life changing event
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Old September 12th, 2009, 01:53 PM   #14
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Lucky you drive a Jeep, and that was not a banana peel; anything else would have been th3 AYBABTU

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Old September 12th, 2009, 02:01 PM   #15
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That's dangerous.....

I've had to move trees just to get out of my 985' driveway after a windy day - those dead elms are way worse than those cornstalks.
I also want to know why trees fall over when the male half of the household isn't home.
Luckily the last time it was one of those trees that was rotting in place and the winch or chainsaw weren't required.
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Old September 12th, 2009, 04:46 PM   #16
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I should have clarified better. Basically some locals tore out and stacked corn stalks across the road about the size of an 8-10" speed bump. Not something you wanna hit going fast.

Locals=Hicks


I slept it off today and now I could care less [/end rant]
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Old September 12th, 2009, 06:41 PM   #17
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I should have clarified better. Basically some locals tore out and stacked corn stalks across the road about the size of an 8-10" speed bump. Not something you wanna hit going fast.

Locals=Hicks


I slept it off today and now I could care less [/end rant]
Didn't you just move there? Wouldn't that make you 'local' as well?
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Old September 12th, 2009, 06:48 PM   #18
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Did the tassels tickle your cornhole?

Now you know why I stopped and molested this plant. Good times.
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Old September 12th, 2009, 06:55 PM   #19
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looks like the corn monster crossing the road at night

Sppooookkiiiieeeee
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Old September 12th, 2009, 07:45 PM   #20
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I should have clarified better. Basically some locals tore out and stacked corn stalks across the road about the size of an 8-10" speed bump. Not something you wanna hit going fast.

Locals=Hicks


I slept it off today and now I could care less [/end rant]
You should have parked on wheel on top of it and took a flex pic to post
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