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Old June 28th, 2009, 02:11 PM   #21
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(313): I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

(248): I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
(248): Its my greatest physical accomplishment
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Old June 28th, 2009, 02:12 PM   #22
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(440): I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
(1-440): Please tell me how you discovered this.
(440): I was looking in the mirror snooping around<p></p>
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Old June 28th, 2009, 02:18 PM   #23
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(973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
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Old June 28th, 2009, 02:26 PM   #24
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where do you find this stuff
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Old June 28th, 2009, 02:40 PM   #25
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http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
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Old June 28th, 2009, 02:43 PM   #26
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thanks
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Old June 28th, 2009, 04:16 PM   #27
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(913): i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
(816): i think im in thre room next to you
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Old June 28th, 2009, 04:31 PM   #28
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(205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
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Old June 28th, 2009, 04:33 PM   #29
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(914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
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Old June 28th, 2009, 04:51 PM   #30
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My Text from Daniel Negreanu

NLH stupid game. Lost a 20k flip with 10 10 to AK.
10 minutes ago from txt

15050 at the first break. Still bored out of my mind but whatever. Really looking forward to a break before the ME.
32 minutes ago from txt

I can't put into words how incredibly boring it is to play no limit holdem. This game is just SO boring!
about 2 hours ago from txt

Accident right off of Flamingo on I-15. Family of 4, everyone is fine... And yes! You guessed it! Asian! So weird!!!
about 3 hours ago from txt
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Old June 28th, 2009, 09:11 PM   #31
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(407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
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Old June 28th, 2009, 09:13 PM   #32
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(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911


hahahhaha
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Old June 28th, 2009, 09:23 PM   #33
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(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
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Old June 28th, 2009, 09:35 PM   #34
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(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
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Old June 29th, 2009, 12:12 AM   #35
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(310): I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.

(214): I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
(972): I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
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Old June 29th, 2009, 12:12 AM   #36
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(310): I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.

(214): I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
(972): I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.



not sure why this posted twice... i only hit the button once.
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Old June 29th, 2009, 12:59 AM   #37
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https://twitter.com/LVRockStar
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Old June 29th, 2009, 02:03 AM   #38
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(303): Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
(832): Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
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Old June 29th, 2009, 02:58 AM   #39
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reading these make me look forward to weekends, lol... not necessarily this one, just the drunk/party ones in general.



(434): in all seriousness..i just woke up in a chair at the kitchen table and i dont have on pants.. but i dont smell like sex so i think its ok
(434): ok so i just found my pants and theyre soaking wet with something but i dont think its pee..
(434): WHAT THE fukc IS ON MY PANTS??
(1-434): dude i dont know lol
(434): ok so i asked pig when he woke up and i definetly pissed my pants
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Old June 29th, 2009, 03:02 AM   #40
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(508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
(214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon


586): Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded


(859): I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
(973): Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
(859): Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
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