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Old November 24th, 2008, 02:21 PM   #141
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Showjeeper can suck my dick.
Sorry Flatfendered faggot, I don't have any padded tweezers
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Old November 24th, 2008, 02:22 PM   #142
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A sign at a bar reads "Ham Sandwich $2. Handjob $20." A man asks the bartender, "Does that say what I think it says?" She replies yes. "I can't believe it! Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" "Yes I am!" replies the bartender. "Would you mind washing your hands and making me a ham sandwich?"
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Old November 24th, 2008, 03:23 PM   #143
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A man in Jacksonville calls his son in San Diego the day before Thanksgiving and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Denver and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Jacksonville immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."
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Old November 25th, 2008, 12:13 AM   #144
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A female co-worker told me this one today:

What is the difference between a woman and mashed potatoes?




Women make their own gravy.
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Old November 25th, 2008, 12:30 AM   #145
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If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please"
The barthened looks at him shacking his head and say "No, we don't serve food here"


One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."
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Old November 25th, 2008, 07:03 AM   #146
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[QUOTE=

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."[/QUOTE]



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Old November 25th, 2008, 07:20 AM   #147
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What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?




Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a
blowjob.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?



One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt.
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Old November 25th, 2008, 07:25 AM   #148
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MusKegon_ZJ_gurl View Post
What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?




Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a
blowjob.
Are you offering?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?



One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt.
o
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Old November 25th, 2008, 07:27 AM   #149
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no.
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We must all go through a rite of passage and it must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.
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Old November 25th, 2008, 07:45 AM   #150
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How do you get a woman to pick cotton?





























Light the string with a match.
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Old November 25th, 2008, 09:52 AM   #151
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He offered his honor, and she honored his offer. The rest of the night he was on'er and off'er!
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Old November 25th, 2008, 10:33 AM   #152
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what is that useless skin around the vagina called?


Woman.
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Old November 25th, 2008, 10:49 AM   #153
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what is that useless skin around the vagina called?


Woman.
HAHAHA
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Old November 25th, 2008, 11:19 AM   #154
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What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?



When you dump your load in the washing machine it doesn't follow you around.
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Old November 25th, 2008, 11:23 AM   #155
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One of my favorites for some reason
-----------------

A woman was doing some grocery shopping at a local supermarket. A man happened to be shopping there as well. The man noticed the woman shopping and happened to be behind her in the check out line.

The woman places her items on the conveyor belt - Eggs, milk, bread and a couple other small items.

The man notices what she is placing on the conveyor belt and looks directly at the woman and says with confidence - "I bet you are single"

The woman looks confused, how would he know? She looks down at the items she is purchasing and thinks to herself there is no way he could know i am single by looking at what i am buying.

So She asks "How do you know i am single?"

The man replies "Because you are fucking ugly"
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Old November 25th, 2008, 11:24 AM   #156
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What is the best part about fucking a 6 year old? Their tiny hands make your dick look huge.
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Old November 25th, 2008, 11:35 AM   #157
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Originally Posted by TJJEEP View Post
What is the best part about fucking a 6 year old? Their tiny hands make your dick look huge.
I laughed at that, but you are not right!!!!
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I put a candy cane up my butt once.
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did it taste like shit after?
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I didn't taste it but the tree stunk when I hung it.
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Old November 25th, 2008, 11:38 AM   #158
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Wow...theres some very crude jokes on here.
Haha...but very funny
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Old November 25th, 2008, 01:10 PM   #159
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MusKegon_ZJ_gurl View Post

What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?



One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running cunt.
that made me laugh
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Old November 25th, 2008, 01:53 PM   #160
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MISHOWJEEPER View Post
how do you make a 9 year old girl cry twice?











wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear
Flip her over works too.
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