Jokes (post them) - Page 6 - Great Lakes 4x4. The largest offroad forum in the Midwest

Go Back   Great Lakes 4x4. The largest offroad forum in the Midwest > General 4x4 Stuff > The Pub
GL4x4 Live! GL4x4 Casino

The Pub A friendly forum where everybody is nice, and will answer any questions you have about life.

greatlakes4x4.com is the premier Great Lakes 4x4 Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Search
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old November 22nd, 2008, 05:21 PM   #101
MISHOWJEEPER
NSFW
 
MISHOWJEEPER's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-06-07
Location: Lapeer MI
Posts: 2,239
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by creeping death View Post
and your "insert racial slur here" /mexican jokes are any better ?

they are just mad because there 12 year old got away



A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says,

"Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."

The pedophile replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."
That's Awesome! Hope nobody cries about it on here like a little bitch, but I can think of a couple fags that probably will
MISHOWJEEPER is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old November 22nd, 2008, 07:32 PM   #102
Silver Bullet
Livin the American Dream
 
Silver Bullet's Avatar
 
Join Date: 04-18-07
Location: Westland, MI
Posts: 3,762
iTrader: (4)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

four gay guys walk into a bar but there's only one stool.

How do they all sit?


They fliped the stool over.
Silver Bullet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 08:07 PM   #103
special ed
Pickup Agent
 
special ed's Avatar
 
Join Date: 06-14-06
Location: Grayling
Posts: 2,078
iTrader: (6)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

When travelling, I always fly TWA, I just love their tea
special ed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 08:53 PM   #104
clint357
Web Wheeler Extraordinair
 
clint357's Avatar
 
Join Date: 03-13-07
Location: grand rapids
Posts: 2,278
iTrader: (4)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

A guy is cruising down the road in his Porsche and sees a cop right next to the bridge he is about to cross. He knows that he's speeding and sees the sop pull out and flip the lights so he pulls over on the other side of the bridge. The cop comes to the window and says "Are you in a hurry, Sir?"
Driver-Yeah actually I'm late for something.
Cop-What are you late for?
Driver-My rectal stretching class.
Cop-WTF is that?
Driver-It's where you go to stretch your rectum out as much as possible.
Cop-What's the goal of that?
Driver-I want to get to 6 feet.
Cop-Holy shit, what in the hell would you do with a 6 foot asshole?
Driver-Give it a radar gun next to a bridge.
clint357 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 08:57 PM   #105
clint357
Web Wheeler Extraordinair
 
clint357's Avatar
 
Join Date: 03-13-07
Location: grand rapids
Posts: 2,278
iTrader: (4)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MISHOWJEEPER View Post
That's Awesome! Hope nobody cries about it on here like a little bitch, but I can think of a couple fags that probably will
Yeah, I'm sure that everyone agrees that black people eating watermellons and 8 year-old girls getting raped are about on par with eachother.
clint357 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:05 PM   #106
MISHOWJEEPER
NSFW
 
MISHOWJEEPER's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-06-07
Location: Lapeer MI
Posts: 2,239
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by clint357 View Post
Yeah, I'm sure that everyone agrees that black people eating watermellons and 8 year-old girls getting raped are about on par with eachother.
You don't seem to get it. It's a joke thread. Not a "fag clint wish I was eastwood's form of humor" joke thread. I can't say I like your jokes, but I don't fukc with you about it. If you don't like somebody elses just keep your opinion to yourself. BTW, here's another one just for you.




What's better than fucking a twelve year old girl?












Flipping her over and pretending she's a boy!














MISHOWJEEPER is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:12 PM   #107
Nuggets
I fix stuff!
 
Nuggets's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-15-06
Location: Bay City, MI
Posts: 13,433
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MISHOWJEEPER View Post
You don't seem to get it. It's a joke thread. Not a "fag clint wish I was eastwood's form of humor" joke thread. I can't say I like your jokes, but I don't fukc with you about it. If you don't like somebody elses just keep your opinion to yourself. BTW, here's another one just for you.




What's better than fucking a twelve year old girl?
















Flipping her over and pretending she's a boy!
















Can't stop enjoying your avatar.................
Nuggets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:13 PM   #108
MISHOWJEEPER
NSFW
 
MISHOWJEEPER's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-06-07
Location: Lapeer MI
Posts: 2,239
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nuggets View Post
Can't stop enjoying your avatar.................
LMAO, sorry, just changed it!
MISHOWJEEPER is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:19 PM   #109
lovemychevy
Something Clever
 
lovemychevy's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-05-06
Location: around
Posts: 2,399
iTrader: (0)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

Two deaf people got married.

During the first week of marriage, they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn the lights off because they can't see each other using sign language.

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time."

The husband thinks this a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis fifty times."
lovemychevy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:20 PM   #110
MISHOWJEEPER
NSFW
 
MISHOWJEEPER's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-06-07
Location: Lapeer MI
Posts: 2,239
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

MISHOWJEEPER is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:21 PM   #111
lovemychevy
Something Clever
 
lovemychevy's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-05-06
Location: around
Posts: 2,399
iTrader: (0)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

A cruise in the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there wereeirdre.

They manage to swim to a small island.......and they lived there for a couple of years..... doing what's natural for men and women to do.

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Deirdre felt absolutely horrible about what she had been doing..

She felt having sex with both Damian and Darren was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic but Damian and Darren managed to get through it and, after a while nature once more took its inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began to feel absolutely horrible about what they where doing.

So............... ..........They buried her.
lovemychevy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:23 PM   #112
lovemychevy
Something Clever
 
lovemychevy's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-05-06
Location: around
Posts: 2,399
iTrader: (0)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

A man has a terrible week at work so on his way home on Friday he stops in at a local brothel. He approaches the Madame and sheepishly asks, "Can I have a lady please, only I haven't got much money."

"That's fine," replies the old pro, "go down the corridor and you want the third door on the left."

The man duly goes to the third door and enters the room.

Once in the room he finds a lady on the bed waiting for him, already in the position. He strips off and starts having sex with her, but she starts spitting in his face.

'No wonder she's the cheapest,' he thinks to himself, but carries on regardless.

After 5 minutes he's covered in her flob, so, unhappy with the situation, the man puts his clothes on and goes back to the Madame to complain.

"Look, I know she's the cheapest you have, but she keeps spitting at me!!" he moans. "It's really putting me off"

"I do apologize sir," replies the Lady of the house, opening the door behind her, "I'll take care of it."

Leaning through the door she shouts:

"CAN SOMEONE DO ME A FAVOR? THE CORPSE IS FULL AGAIN!!!"
lovemychevy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:28 PM   #113
MISHOWJEEPER
NSFW
 
MISHOWJEEPER's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-06-07
Location: Lapeer MI
Posts: 2,239
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default



Keep em coming!
MISHOWJEEPER is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:34 PM   #114
lovemychevy
Something Clever
 
lovemychevy's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-05-06
Location: around
Posts: 2,399
iTrader: (0)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he said, "What myths are those?"

"Well," she explained, "One popular myth is that American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern red neck."

Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
lovemychevy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:36 PM   #115
MISHOWJEEPER
NSFW
 
MISHOWJEEPER's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-06-07
Location: Lapeer MI
Posts: 2,239
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

An english teacher, teaching her third grade class asks them to come up with words with three syllables and use them in a sentence. She asks johnny first, and he says "Beautiful!" Teacher says "very good johnny, please use it in a sentence" Johnny says "our teacher is beautiful!" The teacher is very pleased and says "thank you very much johnny!" Next she points to billy and says "do you have one billy?" Billy blurts out "Urinate!" Hoping to move on quickly the teacher says "okaaay billy, please use that in a sentence" Billy says "Urinate, but if you took better care of yourself you'd be a ten!"
MISHOWJEEPER is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:38 PM   #116
lovemychevy
Something Clever
 
lovemychevy's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-05-06
Location: around
Posts: 2,399
iTrader: (0)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How do you p*ss off a female archaeologist??
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it comes from.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it
lovemychevy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:43 PM   #117
Nuggets
I fix stuff!
 
Nuggets's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-15-06
Location: Bay City, MI
Posts: 13,433
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MISHOWJEEPER View Post
LMAO, sorry, just changed it!
Arrrrrrrrggggg! New avatar makes my eyes sad.
Nuggets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 09:44 PM   #118
MISHOWJEEPER
NSFW
 
MISHOWJEEPER's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-06-07
Location: Lapeer MI
Posts: 2,239
iTrader: (13)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nuggets View Post
Arrrrrrrrggggg! New avatar makes my eyes sad.
Sorry, fucked up timing. New Avatar isn't that bad!
MISHOWJEEPER is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 22nd, 2008, 11:06 PM   #119
creeping death
I'm that guy.
 
creeping death's Avatar
 
Join Date: 05-11-08
Location: MUSKEGON, MI. 49442
Posts: 7,985
iTrader: (83)
Mentioned: 15 Post(s)
Default

an old man was working in his yard and sees this kid walking up the road with a bunch of chicken wire.
the guy asks him, what ya gonna do with all that chicken wire boy?
i'm gonna catch me some chickens he says.
you cant chatch chickens like that son
and the kid says i'll see you in about an hour.
and sure enough, about an hour later the hid comes walkin up the road with a bunch of chickens tangled up in this chicken wire.
well i'll be damned says the old man.
next day the kid comes walkin up the street with a bunch of duct tape.
and again the old man asks him, what ya gonna do with all that duct tape son?
i'm gonna catch me some ducks he says, i'll see you in about an hour.
and once again, sure enough here comes the kid with a bunch of ducks tangled up in that duct tape.
the old man just can't belive it.
so the next day the kid comes by with a bunch of pussywillow.
the man looks at the boy an says, hold on son, let me go get my hat i'm goin with you today.
__________________
You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker.

Last edited by creeping death; November 23rd, 2008 at 08:48 AM.
creeping death is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 23rd, 2008, 09:16 AM   #120
creeping death
I'm that guy.
 
creeping death's Avatar
 
Join Date: 05-11-08
Location: MUSKEGON, MI. 49442
Posts: 7,985
iTrader: (83)
Mentioned: 15 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by clint357 View Post
Yeah, I'm sure that everyone agrees that black people eating watermellons and 8 year-old girls getting raped are about on par with eachother.
you a such a douch.
BOTH types of JOKES are hurtful, degrading, and truly offend some people.
bottom line is they are JOKES
what some think is funny others don't.
THIS IS A JOKE THREAD CLINT.
let's not turn it into a Drama thread.
have a joke?
post it
if not, STFU
__________________
You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker.
creeping death is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Great Lakes 4x4. The largest offroad forum in the Midwest > General 4x4 Stuff > The Pub

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:20 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin, Copyright 2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd. Runs best on HiVelocity Hosting.
Page generated in 0.38193 seconds with 81 queries