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Old November 20th, 2008, 06:21 PM   #61
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Definition of F*cked =
A man has a truck payment, house payment, a wife, and a girlfriend, and they are all a month late
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Old November 20th, 2008, 06:23 PM   #62
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If your donkey came over and ate the feet off my rooster what would we have??




2 feet of my c*ck in ur a$$
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Old November 20th, 2008, 06:32 PM   #63
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If your uncle jack helped you off an elephent, would you help your uncle jack off an elephent?
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Old November 20th, 2008, 06:51 PM   #64
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What did hitler get his daughter for christmas?
An easy bake oven.
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Old November 20th, 2008, 06:57 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MISHOWJEEPER View Post
What's easier to unload, a dump truck full of bowling balls, or a dump truck full of dead babies?













the dump truck full of dead babies of course, you can't use a pitchfork on bowling balls

I'd just pull the lever to dump either...I dont care much for manual labor...


(that joke isnt suposed to be a DUMP truck)
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Old November 20th, 2008, 07:05 PM   #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ckupq View Post
What's the difference between Jam and Jelly?




I can't Jelly my dick in a 4 year old's mouth.



Hardest I've laughed this week.
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Old November 20th, 2008, 07:07 PM   #67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bbright View Post
What does a fat chick and a pallet of shingles have in common??





Both have a 95% chance of being nailed by a mexican
now that was indeed funny
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Old November 20th, 2008, 07:12 PM   #68
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nuzzy View Post
Hardest I've laughed this week.
I knew I liked you for some reason.
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Old November 20th, 2008, 07:13 PM   #69
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Wedding dresses will now be produced in the following colors.
White
Cream
Black
Brushed Stainless steel


That way all of the appliances in the household match.
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Old November 20th, 2008, 08:37 PM   #70
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what do you call 2 black kids in a sleeping bag?.............twix

I may have posted this before but it is one of my all time favorites.

this gay guy goes into a bar for a few drinks and to find a guy.
after a few drinks he looks around and sees there isn't much happening
so he head out the back door the goes to the alley behind the bar.

when he gets in the alley he sees a drunk passed out wino.
he looks around and doesn't see anyone around so he bends the wino over
and fucks his ass.

after he feels bad and says "i'm gonna do something nice for this guy" and puts a $10 bill in the winos pocket and leaves.

the next morning the wino wakes up and finds the money. the wino goes to the corner liquor store and tells they clerk "give me 10 bottles of that $1 wine". he takes the wine goes back to the alley drinks the wine and passes out.

that night the gay guy goes to the bar, has a quick drink and heads right out the back door and sees the wino passed out. the fag bends him over and fucks his ass again.

after he is done he feels twice as bad as the previous night so he says "i really need to do something nice for this guy" and puts a $20 bill in the winos pocket.

in the morning the wino wakes up and finds the $20 bill and is all excited. he goes to the corner liquor store and tells the clerk to give him 20 bottles of the $1 wine. the wino takes the wine, goes back to the alley, drinks it and immediately passes out.

that night the gay guy's gay friend calls and asks if he knows anywhere to get some queer ass? the gay guy says "not really but I know of this wino in an alley who is pretty good if you want to go?" his friend agrees.

the two fags skip the bar altogether and go straight to the alley and find the wino passed out. they bend the wino over and both fukc his ass. afterwords they both feel terrible about what they have done and the gay guy says "let's do something really great for this guy" and they put $50 in the winos pocket.

the next morning the wino wakes up and finds the $50 in his pocket. he heads down to the corner liquor store and tells the clerk "give me that $50 bottle of wine"

the clerk confused says "wait a minute, you have been coming in here all week buying the cheap $1 wine?"

the wino replies "yeah, but man that shit is tearing my ass apart!"
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Old November 20th, 2008, 08:38 PM   #71
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A baby seal walked into a club.
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Old November 21st, 2008, 12:24 AM   #72
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One of my Co-workers when we were going skeet shooting:
Co-worker: "See that black cow out there."
Me: "Yea."
Co-worker: "See that white cow out there."
Me: "Yea."
Co-worker: "See that brown cow out there, do you know what it's called?"
Me: "No."
Co-worker: "Its a MOOOlato."
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Old November 21st, 2008, 01:56 AM   #73
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whats the best thing about having sex with a 12 year old in the shower?





when you slick her hair back she looks 9.







a guy is laying in bed waiting for his wife and when she gets out of the bathroom she asks him do you think i need to get bigger boobs? and he says sure, just whipe some toilet paper between them. it works on your ass.
__________________
You ain't got no problem, Jules. I'm on the motherfucker.

Last edited by creeping death; November 21st, 2008 at 02:01 AM.
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Old November 21st, 2008, 03:43 AM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MusKegon_ZJ_gurl View Post
1)What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?

They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.



.
FUCKIN LOVE THIS JOKE. this one will stick with me for a while. thanks HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Old November 21st, 2008, 05:36 AM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IDIeselman View Post
What the fukc 's wrong with you? That's not even close to humorous!
x2
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Old November 21st, 2008, 08:36 AM   #76
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clint357 View Post
x2
x3
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Old November 21st, 2008, 09:20 AM   #77
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How do you expect one black guy to run the whitehouse when 10 cant run a white castle
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Old November 21st, 2008, 11:37 AM   #78
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You know what I hate? Indian Givers.

No, I take that back.
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Old November 21st, 2008, 12:45 PM   #79
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Why dont mexicans cook on the grill?





Because the beans fall right through.

What do you get when you push a 9 year old down the stairs?





I dont know about you but I get a pretty big hard on.

Why do italians wear gold chains?





To know where to stop shaving.

Whats sad about 4 black guys going off a cliff in a cadillac?





the 5th seat was empty.

Whats white and 12 inches long?





not a damn thing.
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Old November 21st, 2008, 03:49 PM   #80
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> Fellow Business Executives:
>
> As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned
> myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and
> that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.
>
>
> To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have
> to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8%. But since we cannot
> increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we
> will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been
> eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't
> know how to choose who will have to go.
>
>
> So, this is what I did. I strolled through our parking lot and found 6
> Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these
> folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair
> way to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to
> them.
>
>
>
> If you have a better idea, let me know.
>
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