Craigslist ad Winner! - Great Lakes 4x4. The largest offroad forum in the Midwest

Go Back   Great Lakes 4x4. The largest offroad forum in the Midwest > General 4x4 Stuff > The Pub
GL4x4 Live! GL4x4 Casino

The Pub A friendly forum where everybody is nice, and will answer any questions you have about life.

greatlakes4x4.com is the premier Great Lakes 4x4 Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Search
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old September 3rd, 2008, 01:51 AM   #1
Monkeyevil
I <3 Miatas
 
Monkeyevil's Avatar
 
Join Date: 11-05-05
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Posts: 8,988
iTrader: (16)
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Send a message via AIM to Monkeyevil
Default Craigslist ad Winner!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/765370039.html

Quote:
Manly Bike for Sale
Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT


Bike for sale


What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".



The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.



The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.



The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.



I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:


Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.


Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fukc around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".


Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)


* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
__________________
JcrOffroad
Zoom Zoom!
Monkeyevil is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old September 3rd, 2008, 02:01 AM   #2
Jesse-James
Midwest Mudslinger
 
Jesse-James's Avatar
 
Join Date: 05-21-08
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 1,074
iTrader: (4)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

That just made my night. Fawking hilarious.
Jesse-James is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 02:22 AM   #3
MudFreak
RachelleNicole
 
MudFreak's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-02-08
Location: Burton, West Virginia
Posts: 37
iTrader: (0)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default


That was pretty funny.
MudFreak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 02:22 AM   #4
tsaguy
drink the hotdog water.
 
tsaguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-17-08
Location: Big Mountain, Michigan 48458
Posts: 4,385
iTrader: (3)
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Default

teh awesum.
tsaguy is online now   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 03:17 AM   #5
zjguy721
Insomniac
 
zjguy721's Avatar
 
Join Date: 04-13-06
Location: Hartland/Milford, MI
Posts: 1,117
iTrader: (2)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

zjguy721 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 07:08 AM   #6
whiterhino
I'm not old, honest...
 
whiterhino's Avatar
 
Join Date: 03-07-06
Location: Davisburg MI
Posts: 22,324
iTrader: (22)
Mentioned: 27 Post(s)
Default

You found my ad.
whiterhino is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 07:24 AM   #7
KartRacer
Blowd up
 
KartRacer's Avatar
 
Join Date: 11-16-05
Location: Riverside, MI 49084
Posts: 6,335
iTrader: (4)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Send a message via AIM to KartRacer
Default

Good laugh!
KartRacer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 07:28 AM   #8
IFS SUCKS
I like trees
 
IFS SUCKS's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-20-07
Location: Lansing,MI
Posts: 5,796
iTrader: (6)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

lmfao
IFS SUCKS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 07:29 AM   #9
Silver Bullet
Livin the American Dream
 
Silver Bullet's Avatar
 
Join Date: 04-18-07
Location: Westland, MI
Posts: 3,810
iTrader: (4)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

that's fawkin sweet. I wanna ride a bike under water.
Silver Bullet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 07:30 AM   #10
fsumotorhead
N8KVB
 
fsumotorhead's Avatar
 
Join Date: 10-24-06
Location: Flat Rock, MI
Posts: 4,202
iTrader: (34)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

should ask him if he's taken it off any sweet jumps
fsumotorhead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 07:44 AM   #11
Medina
Shoulda bought an Achieva
 
Medina's Avatar
 
Join Date: 07-03-07
Location: Bay City Michigan
Posts: 1,094
iTrader: (20)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Send a message via AIM to Medina Send a message via MSN to Medina
Default

Medina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 09:28 AM   #12
GOTRCKS
"RHINO ZJ"
 
GOTRCKS's Avatar
 
Join Date: 04-30-06
Location: Grand Blanc, MI
Posts: 760
iTrader: (6)
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Default

That was definitely a good laugh. Thanks for the morning humor. And congrats to who won the contest.
GOTRCKS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 09:32 AM   #13
PCK_4xCustoms
r00t4r3d
 
PCK_4xCustoms's Avatar
 
Join Date: 01-20-08
Location: livonia
Posts: 1,914
iTrader: (5)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Send a message via AIM to PCK_4xCustoms
Default

that was awesome
PCK_4xCustoms is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 10:16 AM   #14
Skooter_Built
Fuck talk, Duck walk!
 
Skooter_Built's Avatar
 
Join Date: 11-05-05
Location: Whitelake, MI
Posts: 14,596
iTrader: (26)
Mentioned: 15 Post(s)
Default

haha, fantastic. I felt that Strongbad wrote it, haha
__________________
I'm the man in White.

If you want peace, prepare for war!

Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.
Skooter_Built is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 10:26 AM   #15
Roshambo88
I'll RoShamBo ya for it!
 
Roshambo88's Avatar
 
Join Date: 02-11-08
Location: Warren, Mi
Posts: 78
iTrader: (0)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

Sounds like a bike that would be under Chuck Norris seeing as Chuck Norris doesn't ride bikes...they take him for rides!
Roshambo88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 10:47 AM   #16
ovrlnd
HURL SCOUTS
 
ovrlnd's Avatar
 
Join Date: 03-23-07
Location: Westland, Michigan
Posts: 10,003
iTrader: (14)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Send a message via AIM to ovrlnd
Default

that's the best ad evar!!!
ovrlnd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 11:09 AM   #17
87'YJ
Jeeps, Journey and Jesus
 
87'YJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: 11-07-05
Location: Columbus
Posts: 1,651
iTrader: (2)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Default

Weird, my bike says "GIANT" on the side too...
87'YJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 11:39 AM   #18
Stan
I got a gold chain
 
Stan's Avatar
 
Join Date: 11-05-05
Location: Shelby Twp.
Posts: 15,830
iTrader: (8)
Mentioned: 21 Post(s)
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 87'YJ View Post
Weird, my bike says "GIANT" on the side too...
Mine says Midget Racer.
Stan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 11:58 AM   #19
GreaseMonkey
Pew pew!
 
GreaseMonkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: 11-05-05
Location: Madison Heights, MI
Posts: 18,043
iTrader: (22)
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Default

__________________
GreaseMonkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old September 3rd, 2008, 01:10 PM   #20
Bronco351
Powered by Ford
 
Bronco351's Avatar
 
Join Date: 09-26-07
Location: Garden City, MI; Pensacola, FL
Posts: 2,014
iTrader: (8)
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Send a message via Yahoo to Bronco351
Default

Thats freakin hilarious
Bronco351 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Great Lakes 4x4. The largest offroad forum in the Midwest > General 4x4 Stuff > The Pub
Tags
man bag, monkeyboysellinghisbike

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:50 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin, Copyright 2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd. Runs best on HiVelocity Hosting.
Page generated in 0.24334 seconds with 80 queries