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Old August 25th, 2008, 03:45 PM   #1
mikesova
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Secular Weddings?

Has anyone ever been to one? What was it like? Also, is anyone here a reverend in the ULC?
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Old August 25th, 2008, 03:58 PM   #2
Dave Kerwin
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never been to one, but I do know a pastor for hire, good friend of mine.
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Old August 25th, 2008, 04:49 PM   #3
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I got married at the court house, that's pretty secular.
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Old August 25th, 2008, 05:25 PM   #4
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Yes, and they were just a beautiful and meaningful as religious based weddings. Actually, they more enjoyable for me as I did not have to hear about that which I do not care about. It was just about the union of 2 people.
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Old August 25th, 2008, 05:36 PM   #5
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Quote:
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Has anyone ever been to one? What was it like? Also, is anyone here a reverend in the ULC?
Check with your girlfriends pastor he might know.
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Old August 25th, 2008, 06:21 PM   #6
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Yep. Kim and I had one. We contacted an "internet minister" that was licensed by the state, met with her a few times to get to know us/her, we wrote up suggestions for the ceremony, and she put it together. She did a beautiful job. The thumpers in attendance didn't even seem to notice the lack of god, prayers, scripture readings, and other useless crap we didn't want involved in our wedding.
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Old August 25th, 2008, 07:37 PM   #7
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I was thinking about having a close friend or family member registering w/ the ULC for a ceremony.
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Old August 25th, 2008, 07:43 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikesova View Post
I was thinking about having a close friend or family member registering w/ the ULC for a ceremony.
As long as it is someone that is used to managing a ceremony and speaking in public I think that could work well. That is a lot of the training that preachers go through. They learn to manage their crowd, lead them, use their emotions to control their reactions, etc... Much like any inspirational speaker that is trying to convince you to join them and donate your money.
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Old August 26th, 2008, 08:01 AM   #9
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Mine was real close. We did have a prayer, because all of the grandparents thought it was "the right thing to do", but we didn't really care. We were married on the beach outside of Glen Arbor, MI.
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Old August 26th, 2008, 09:25 AM   #10
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Ours was.

Found a minister (actually, a married couple that were both ministers) on the internet. They did much of the legwork for us and showed up to marry us under a giant sequoia in Yosemite.

Also came with an awesome wedding cake and a bottle of champagne.

Just my wife, the pastors and I. Done in 15 minutes and we followed it up with a hike through the forest, champagne in our nalgenes.
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Old August 27th, 2008, 02:29 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScOoTeR View Post
Ours was.

Found a minister (actually, a married couple that were both ministers) on the internet. They did much of the legwork for us and showed up to marry us under a giant sequoia in Yosemite.

Also came with an awesome wedding cake and a bottle of champagne.

Just my wife, the pastors and I. Done in 15 minutes and we followed it up with a hike through the forest, champagne in our nalgenes.
That sounds sweet! Did the Nalgenes never taste the same after that?

My Wife and I were married at the camp we work at. It's a place were we were engaged, were we met, and (now) were we Got married. It's a very important place for us, mostly because of the ministry we do there. My dad Married us, he's a UMC Pastor. We worshiped and then Got married and between the wedding and reception (same place) we opened the water slide for the guests. It was pretty cool.

It's not about who does it or where it's at, it's about keeping that commitment that you and your spouse make. We decided to give honor to the guy who created marriage at our wedding other people don't. Either way, it's about the Commitment you make. I think actually sticking to that commitment your hole life is more of a honor to God then including him in the ceremony.

Also, Pastors have alot of training, like some one said. I've seen my dad lead many weddings and he's actually really good at it. I'm pretty sure he could go into wedding planning and do just fine. Get some one with expierince and not your buddy who just clicked a few buttons on the computer.

And yes, I have been to a Secular wedding. No different to me.
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Old August 27th, 2008, 03:39 PM   #12
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one thing that an experience pastor will do with a wedding is a bit of premarital counceling, mine was intense, very worthwhile
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Old August 28th, 2008, 06:40 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Kerwin View Post
one thing that an experience pastor will do with a wedding is a bit of premarital counceling, mine was intense, very worthwhile


Bekah and I are in that phase...it's kinda' scary, to be honest...
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Old August 28th, 2008, 06:46 AM   #14
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Have whatever kind of wedding you want. :shrug:

My sister got married at a "Unity" church, and it was basically a courthouse wedding in a nicer facility - no religious hoodoo. Find a Judge or Justice of the Peace somewhere cool and just do it like ScOoTeR (the ceremony, that is...).

Kayak to a favorite sandbar and meet them there...
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Old August 28th, 2008, 07:06 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Kerwin View Post
one thing that an experience pastor will do with a wedding is a bit of premarital counceling, mine was intense, very worthwhile
Maybe, if done well.

Our's wasn't, and it was a joke.

Catholic "Pre-Cana" exercise - OMFG it was stupid. "Group leaders" were several couples about 26-30 years old - basically looks like they were several pairs of football jock - cheerleader couples who've been together since they were 16, got married at 19, after the guy went to work for daddy-in-law's construction/excavating/HVAC business.

The rest of the 10-hour long class members were 19-21 year olds who were extremely excited to be there. I was a 25 year-old engineer who drove 5 hours from Indy (to Toledo) arriving at 0300 for the 0800 session. My wife-to-be was a 28 year-old graduate nurse (with a seven year-old) who worked until 0400 the night before. And we were less excited to be there - but it was (as we were reminded about 1000X) mandatory.

So we're the same age as the "teachers", as well as more educated (yes, it sounds a little snobby but I was 25 and cocky), and equally as "experienced' in life as them (i.e. some monkey who's entire lifestyle was the result of marrying the bosses daughter would have a hard time showing me how to budget and balance my checkbook - and don't let childless Susie Cheerleader lecture my wife - who had a 7-year old, was from a family of 10, and was doing an Obstetrics clinical cycle - about "the responsibilities of parenthood").

So we were tired, locked in a room with overly excited kids, and being led by peppy morons. Long story short, we went out at lunch, drank, came back late and fell asleep. Teachers were happy that we quit pointing out the flaws and gave us the certificate. We got married, and have stayed that way for 23 years and counting.

btw, the Priest showed up to the ceremony about half shitfaced (Irish funeral before the wedding - the stiff was in the basement for the wake during the wedding ceremony) so we ended up with a "unique" ceremony as he forgot parts, went back and filled them in, and repeated at least one thing...
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Old August 28th, 2008, 07:20 AM   #16
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My uncle is marrying us this weekend.... pretty secular for the most part. We have known each other 8 almost 9 years and lived together almost 4 so nothing much will change.
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Old August 28th, 2008, 07:40 AM   #17
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Quote:
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...overly excited kids...peppy morons...
Dewd! I hate Peppy Morons!!!

The people with the perma-grin creep me out.

Even though I'm only 22, I don't really fit into the "overly excited kid" category...It could be because Bekah and I have been dating almost three years (a virtual eternity compared to most of the relationships in our church) or the fact that Bekah and I have had to put up with me moving away to Flint for 3 months every 3 months (so our relationship had to mature pretty quickly to keep it strong during the long-distance portions).

Sometimes it seems like we're looked down on because we view it 'practically' instead of 'super super excitedly'. (We want to get married, we want to be together, etc, but I don't act like a W.O.W. junkie getting a pre-built level 14 Wizard with pixie dust or something.)

Wutevs.
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Old August 29th, 2008, 09:58 AM   #18
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Maybe, if done well.

Our's wasn't, and it was a joke.

Catholic "Pre-Cana" exercise - OMFG it was stupid. "Group leaders" were several couples about 26-30 years old - basically looks like they were several pairs of football jock - cheerleader couples who've been together since they were 16, got married at 19, after the guy went to work for daddy-in-law's construction/excavating/HVAC business.

The rest of the 10-hour long class members were 19-21 year olds who were extremely excited to be there. I was a 25 year-old engineer who drove 5 hours from Indy (to Toledo) arriving at 0300 for the 0800 session. My wife-to-be was a 28 year-old graduate nurse (with a seven year-old) who worked until 0400 the night before. And we were less excited to be there - but it was (as we were reminded about 1000X) mandatory.

So we're the same age as the "teachers", as well as more educated (yes, it sounds a little snobby but I was 25 and cocky), and equally as "experienced' in life as them (i.e. some monkey who's entire lifestyle was the result of marrying the bosses daughter would have a hard time showing me how to budget and balance my checkbook - and don't let childless Susie Cheerleader lecture my wife - who had a 7-year old, was from a family of 10, and was doing an Obstetrics clinical cycle - about "the responsibilities of parenthood").

So we were tired, locked in a room with overly excited kids, and being led by peppy morons. Long story short, we went out at lunch, drank, came back late and fell asleep. Teachers were happy that we quit pointing out the flaws and gave us the certificate. We got married, and have stayed that way for 23 years and counting.

btw, the Priest showed up to the ceremony about half shitfaced (Irish funeral before the wedding - the stiff was in the basement for the wake during the wedding ceremony) so we ended up with a "unique" ceremony as he forgot parts, went back and filled them in, and repeated at least one thing...
Yesterday 07:46 AM
That does sound horrible. I can't stand things like that. Have you ever seen "License to wed"? It was pretty good and sounds a bit like what you had to go through. Congrats on 23 Years!
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