Hopefully 2017 will be a better year and things look up for you. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to walk in your shoes right now but it takes a strong guy to do it and your doing a good job. Keep your head up, everything will work out for you.
Even the strongest of men get tired. It seems as though you've had zero emotional rest in quite a while. At least it keeps you busy and your mind from sitting stale.
Things will look up again. Keeping one foot in front of the other, is what keeps you from falling on your face. Getting up from a face plant is a lot harder than one more step.
Driving to Chicago, the Random Wave of Sadness git hard. Had to pull off the freeway and just bawl my eyes out for 5 minutes. This is one of the worst parts of this- the mind goes into that rabbit hole and you can't stop it.... The harder you try the deeper you go so you just have to ride it out.
The world is full of triggers. All this took was a radio commercial with a small child saying 'daddy'....aw shit.... Here we go again....
I can understand now why some people in grief end their own lives. This is the most soul crushing, dark, infinite pain imaginable. And there is nothing to make it go away.
You have to make a conscious effort to get up and go on.
they just fired the other road guy for walking out on a customer. We are down to just me again for controls issues. I can take time off the road, but all it will do is stack up until i get to it. I have tried finding other work, but after sending our almost 100 resumes with no response, its not looking good. No one wants an old man.
You're no good to anyone if you can't live with yourself.
Not to mention, I learned a long time ago, they may feed you that "you're our only hope BS", but if you exploded right now, I assure you they would find someone and stumble on. Everyone is replaceable.
IMO, a mental health issue, such as in your case, is every bit as real and pressing as a physical health issue.
I have no desire to end my life but I have a little more understanding of why some have those thoughts.
Absolutely nothing I do will change what happened. So, I jyst have to carry on and live the best I can.
Prayers for you and your family. I really don't know what else to say. That is just really sad and I hope you keep your strength up. I don't know what your beliefs are, but people always tell me that God doesn't give me more than He thinks I can handle. Things will get better.
On a side note, I have a cat you can have. In fact, I'll pay you $20 to take it. His name is Sonic. He's not crazy.
LOL, we are not really looking for a replacement cat quite yet. Maybe when life evens out a bit.
On a side note, I have found something that works for me. I set aside time each day to feel sad, and then try to remember the fun times when I am done. It's a little odd, but it helps to keep me from bursting into tears at inappropriate times.
Look into it and use it if it's available. It helps
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