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Old October 19th, 2007, 07:59 AM   #1
Sinister Minister
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Default Farmer dayvorce

A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer.

The lawyer said, "How can I help you?"

The farmer said, "I want to get one of them dayvorces."

The lawyer said, "Do you have any grounds?"

The farmer said, "Yes, I got 40 acres."

The lawyer said, "No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit?"

The farmer said, "Yes, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays."

The lawyer said, "No, no, I mean, do you have a case?"

The farmer said, "No, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere."

The lawyer said, "No, I mean, do you have a grudge?"

The farmer said, "Yes, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere."

The lawyer said, "Does your wife beat you up or something?"

The farmer said, "No, we both get up at 4:30."

The lawyer said, "Is your wife a nagger?"

The farmer said, "No, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce."
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Old October 19th, 2007, 08:06 AM   #2
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Old October 19th, 2007, 08:10 AM   #3
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Old October 19th, 2007, 08:16 AM   #4
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Old October 19th, 2007, 08:17 AM   #5
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Old October 19th, 2007, 08:18 AM   #6
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Don't care who you are....thats funny
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Old October 19th, 2007, 08:22 AM   #7
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rascist
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Old October 19th, 2007, 08:29 AM   #8
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rascist
don't you have some wood to we working?
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Old October 19th, 2007, 08:34 AM   #9
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don't you have some wood to we working?
nope...all its done is rain up there...so im back...lol
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Old October 19th, 2007, 12:20 PM   #10
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That is funny...here is another one for you...

DIVORCE VS. MURDER
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes,and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture, thought for a moment and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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Old October 19th, 2007, 12:39 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by bigjay View Post
rascist
How am I racist? One of my best friends is Sol Goode!!!

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Old October 19th, 2007, 12:57 PM   #12
Gary Coleman
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I can vouch for Sinister not being racist. Once, he let me ride in the back of his S-10 during a hail storm. He dropped me off at work, Popeye's Chicken, and only charged me two spliffs and a case of PBR for the ride.
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Old October 19th, 2007, 01:05 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SBC YJ View Post
Don't care who you are....thats funny
x121234512365
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Old October 19th, 2007, 01:09 PM   #14
poptart
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeepchick2007 View Post
That is funny...here is another one for you...

DIVORCE VS. MURDER
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes,and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture, thought for a moment and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
Tee hee!
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Old October 19th, 2007, 01:48 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by scramblerman72 View Post
x121234512365
x2394857
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Old October 19th, 2007, 01:53 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary Coleman View Post
I can vouch for Sinister not being racist. Once, he let me ride in the back of his S-10 during a hail storm. He dropped me off at work, Popeye's Chicken, and only charged me two spliffs and a case of PBR for the ride.


Thanks for having my back nagger!
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Old October 19th, 2007, 01:53 PM   #17
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both of those are hilarious!
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Old October 19th, 2007, 05:41 PM   #18
Jenni
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeepchick2007 View Post
That is funny...here is another one for you...

DIVORCE VS. MURDER
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes,and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture, thought for a moment and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

:tonka: made me giggle...
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Old October 19th, 2007, 05:53 PM   #19
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Old October 19th, 2007, 06:10 PM   #20
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This is the Pub. Leave common sense at the door.
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