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Old February 27th, 2013, 09:05 AM   #9161
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I just wrote a song for my dog. It's called "I eat once a day but I shit three times."
My wife's dog is known as Shit Machine.
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Old February 27th, 2013, 12:36 PM   #9162
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Two guys chatting in the bar and one asked his friend: "How did that date go with that girl the other night "well", he replied, "You know I get a boner every time I see her?" "yes?" "I had an idea to duct tape it to my leg. So I turn up to her house and she opens the door and she's wearing this really sexy dress" "Then what happened?" "I kicked her in the face."
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All I want to do is smoke meth, fuck my sister, and hang myself with a belt.
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Old February 27th, 2013, 01:17 PM   #9163
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Why do black men always have red eyes after sex?


Pepper spray
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All I want to do is smoke meth, fuck my sister, and hang myself with a belt.
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Old February 27th, 2013, 01:26 PM   #9164
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I want fajitas from El Burrito Loco
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Old February 27th, 2013, 01:27 PM   #9165
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Two nuns are driving down a road. One says to the other, "Interesting, I've never come this way before." The other nods knowingly and replies, "It's the cobblestones."
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Old February 27th, 2013, 03:37 PM   #9166
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I want fajitas from El Burrito Loco
the crazy burrito
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Old February 27th, 2013, 05:46 PM   #9167
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I'm hungry now. Thanks for that.
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Old February 28th, 2013, 10:11 AM   #9168
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Amazon Prime has totally skewed my reality of shipping costs
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Old February 28th, 2013, 10:16 AM   #9169
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Amazon Prime has totally skewed my reality of shipping costs
Very true! And free videos!


Sent from my iPhone5 using Tapatalk
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Old February 28th, 2013, 10:16 AM   #9170
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Too much coffee.
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Old February 28th, 2013, 11:14 AM   #9171
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I spent too much money on hookers and blow this weekend and now I don't have enough money to pay my bills this weekend without tapping into my rainy day money. I was thinking of setting up a PayPal account for donations yo pay my rent. Don't get me wrong I have enough money to do so I but I'm trying to save for an enclosed trailer. Would anyone donate to pay my rent? I need $1500 by friday!
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Old February 28th, 2013, 11:26 AM   #9172
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I spent too much money on hookers and blow this weekend and now I don't have enough money to pay my bills this weekend without tapping into my rainy day money. I was thinking of setting up a PayPal account for donations yo pay my rent. Don't get me wrong I have enough money to do so I but I'm trying to save for an enclosed trailer. Would anyone donate to pay my rent? I need $1500 by friday!
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Old February 28th, 2013, 11:59 AM   #9173
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I will donate ten dollhairs
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Old February 28th, 2013, 12:05 PM   #9174
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I will donate ten ballhairs
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Old February 28th, 2013, 12:16 PM   #9175
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Wife's birthday is today. Turned 43. She's getting old
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Old February 28th, 2013, 12:16 PM   #9176
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I can give you those too
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Old February 28th, 2013, 03:10 PM   #9177
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I can give you those too
Anything helps! Man are those stoners gonna be pissed if ur hairs fail a drug test.
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Old February 28th, 2013, 03:55 PM   #9178
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Sensual messages
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Old February 28th, 2013, 05:03 PM   #9179
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Casino Cash FTW.
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Old February 28th, 2013, 07:09 PM   #9180
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My deaf girlfriend can't lipread worth a shit when I'm brushing my teeth
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