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Old June 25th, 2012, 03:27 PM   #41
TJJEEP
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Responsible people want to be "ready" to have kids and it's more difficult to be ready with housing costs, student loans, job situations.
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Old June 25th, 2012, 06:06 PM   #42
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I grew up volunteering at march of dimes every other week. Check march of dimes, Bethany, and other good causes sometime. Kind of scared the heck out of me as far as defects. You can not help but feel sorry for infants that may not live more then a few days or will be damaged for life.

I have always planned on adopting or marrying someone with children around 40-45. Or, just be that uncle that all the kids like. Whatever happens happens. Right now I can not even commit to a dog so thinking about kids is a ways off.

As far as people over 40 having kids. Hey, accidents happen right? Maybe if the guys over 40 got laid more then once a month by there wifes/gf's they would be running low when she is horny&packing.
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Old June 27th, 2012, 05:07 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by kerryann View Post
I will be 40 when I have my first and only child. I grew up the child of a teenage mother with no father (he was dead, not a deadbeat). I NEVER wanted my kids to want and need like I did. I am sure when I was younger I would have had more energy, but on the other hand now I have more patience.
People are living longer, why doesn't it make sense that people wait longer now to have kids.
Are you expecting?
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Old June 27th, 2012, 06:31 AM   #44
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My wife and I had our first and only when she was 36 and I was 30, My wife was in med school and had some health problems. The Dr's told her she needed to stop taking birth control due to rising blood pressure and heart issuse. They also did not want her to get pregnet as well. She had e-sure done, which places spring like items in each falopin tube and forms scar tissue to make seal off.This was done in December and in august they confirmed 100% blocked. This makes you unable to get pregent (so they say) She wanted to start riding her own motor cycle, so I went out and bought her one. On her first long ride a car pulled out in front of her and she missed the car, but went into some brush that had a cable line in it. The line cut her neck from her right ear to almost her left ear. NOT the greatest thing to have happen. When they got her to er they did a trauma panel on her and pregnecy test. When they told us that she was pregent, we said that can not be. So they did another and confirmed, so then they did a ultra sound to see if she was not having a tubal pregence due to the tubs being blocked. Well long story short my son was born health, but just like the dr's said when they told her not to get pregnet, she went into total heart failure 5 days after he was born. She spent 16 days in ICU and at one point there was talk about a heart transplant. My wife will turn 41 this year and I will be 35, our son is 4 and we are glad he came and it was later in life even with the trouble she has gone threw. We are able to provide the things for my son that others have not when they have childeren at a younger age, I am not say all younger people should wait, but most are not ready for childeren at a young age.
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Old June 27th, 2012, 06:46 AM   #45
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If having a kid for the first time no one is really ready regardless of age. Having your first kid sure does let you know if you have patience though.......or at the very least what your true endurance level is lol
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Old June 27th, 2012, 07:13 AM   #46
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If having a kid for the first time no one is really ready regardless of age. Having your first kid sure does let you know if you have patience though.......or at the very least what your true endurance level is lol
I think as you age you become better prepared, you look at the things different, most young people have no clue what they are in for, but as you age most will be around other's with childeren, have careers, their own homes, yes there are exceptions with young and old. When you are having a child at 19 is a whole lot different then having one at 30's or 40's, just my two cents.
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Old June 27th, 2012, 07:33 AM   #47
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I do agree it's very different, but I think Dave is right, you can never really be prepared. At 19 you haven't got a clue and as so many things are new you just go with it. At 40 you think you might have a clue so freak out more because you were so wrong and having a clue LOL

but I do agree I have more patience now then at 19, even though my Mom says I've always been fairly patient. My wife, at 37 doesn't have much patience, I'd hate to see what she would have been like at 19 with a baby. LOL
I think around 30would have been a better age for myself to have a kid, but I'm very happy to have a daughter now.
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Old June 27th, 2012, 08:03 AM   #48
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My wife was 39 and 44 when our boys were born. (I was 31 and 35). We were just married when our first was conceived. Wasn't planned, we didn't think we could have children. I tell people she just had never been with a real man before. lol
Looking back, we were able to accomplish a lot before having kids, and while I miss my snowmobiles, jeeps, and other "toys" I look forward to sharing those kinds of things with my boys once they are a little older if we can afford them then!
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Old June 27th, 2012, 10:49 AM   #49
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The wife and I had our boy when we were 27. He is 2 now. We have a girl due in 6 weeks.
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Old June 27th, 2012, 03:46 PM   #50
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There's really no right or wrong answer. There certainly seemed like a trend over the last decade of people both going to college, getting careers, living DINK life for a while, then having kids.

I can see the logic, on one hand. People like to use the argument that they are more mature, and have more money and patience, etc.

On the other hand, biologically, the human body isn't optimally designed for kids @ 40, even if people are living longer. And its a flaw in the logic of some thinking that you can get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby at that age.

I know for us, going into that phase, you don't think about those things. Lets see, after 1 miscarriage, 1 planned c-section, 2 emergency c-sections, 9 weeks of Mom in the hospital with bloodbank on standby, several weeks of NICU, $100k+ in hospital bills, and a bunch of other fun, well, my eyes are a bit more open on how things can go. I was 31 when my first was born (wife was 30), and 35 when the last was born. No more of that stress for us! She was 34 for the last. At 35+ you move into the next risk group.

I think some people always try to wait in life for when they are 'ready' for things... bah, are you ever really 'ready' for anything? Just do it, and get on with life. That opportunity might not be there whenever the time is finally right.
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Old June 27th, 2012, 04:23 PM   #51
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I think some people always try to wait in life for when they are 'ready' for things... bah, are you ever really 'ready' for anything? Just do it, and get on with life. That opportunity might not be there whenever the time is finally right.
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