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Old March 25th, 2008, 03:18 PM   #1
samurai2240
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Default the man rules and tax code

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down& amp;

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must a dmit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1.. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
St rong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or an gry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT

need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itc hes, it will be scratched.
We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1.. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.


Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many Men/ women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh..


2008 Tax Code

The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.
This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around
unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is
pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has
two dependents and they are both nuts!

HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2008, the penis will now be taxed
according to size:

The brackets are as follows:

10 - 12" Luxury Tax $300.00
8 - 10" Pole Tax $250.00
5 - 8" Privilege Tax $150.00
3 - 5 " Nuisance Tax $30.00

Males exceeding 12" must file capital gains.

Anyone under 4" is eligible for a tax refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

Last edited by samurai2240; March 25th, 2008 at 03:31 PM.
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Old March 25th, 2008, 03:20 PM   #2
oz97tj
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...It's like camping! lol
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Old March 25th, 2008, 03:21 PM   #3
Ridin Dirty
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Amen!!!
__________________
"It's all good. We've caught a lot nicer shit than this on fire"
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Old March 25th, 2008, 03:26 PM   #4
fsumotorhead
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Love it!
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Old March 25th, 2008, 03:34 PM   #5
Chiefwoohaw
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Awesome, will be sending it to my wife in a few mins
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Old March 25th, 2008, 03:35 PM   #6
PCK_4xCustoms
r00t4r3d
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridin Dirty View Post
Amen!!!

x2
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Old March 25th, 2008, 03:37 PM   #7
deuce228
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Pretty well sums it up

GM, print and place on the fridge for Kate.
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Old March 25th, 2008, 04:15 PM   #8
firehawk
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Nice!

I guess I will be asking for a refund.
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Old March 25th, 2008, 04:32 PM   #9
MUDFLAPS
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Old March 25th, 2008, 04:36 PM   #10
bigjay
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$300 luxury!!! damn it im always getting screwd
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Old March 25th, 2008, 04:40 PM   #11
MUDFLAPS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigjay View Post
$300 luxury!!! damn it im always getting screwd
wow. I didn't know your boyfriend had such a big penor. You must have a pretty blown out hoop.
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Old March 26th, 2008, 07:31 AM   #12
samurai2240
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morning bump
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