WTF is it with the majority of these guys? Every damn place I work, there has to be at least one of them, and as soon as they see I drive a Duramax, they have to come over and start trashing on it right away.
I just started working a new place a week ago. Day #1 within 10 minutes of being there, this guys jumps on me and starts telling me how great is Megacab is. I just keep quiet. Then he starts telling me what a piece of shit my Duramax is. I keep quiet again. After 8 days of him telling everybody we go to lunch with what a problematic pile of shit my "rice-burning import engine" is, I finally call him out and ask him what specifically is so shitty about my truck.
Me: So what specifically is so shitty about my truck that makes you feel the need to trash on it every day?
Him: Well, uh, um, they have injector problems.
Me: Yes, the LB7 did. I told you that yesterday. What else.
Him: Well, um, my uncle works for a place that he said that his friend told him that all the Duramaxes have all these problems
Me: Name one.
Him: Well, I don't know specifically, so I'll have to look into it and get back to you.
Me: That's what I thought. You're such a hypocrite. You have no clue what you're talking about.
Him. It doesn't matter what a piece of shit your truck is, everybody knows Cummins are the best motors ever built. 6 in a row, built to tow! Pistons the size of coffee cans! Good for a million miles easy!
Me: Congratulations.
Him: I ordered my Smarty today. I can't wait to ROLL SOME COAL all over the place when it gets here. Its going to be AWESOME. I'm going to blow your ass away when we race. I know a good road not far from here we can race.
Me: I didn't realize we were racing. I never said my truck was fast. 14.1@ 93 MPH with a 80HP tune. I said that's not bad for a 7,000# truck. But okay, we can race it it will make you happy. How fast do you think your truck will be (its a stick shift ) with your Smarty cranked all the way up?
Him: Should be in the 11s easy.
Me: 11s, huh? I'll put $100 on that.
Him: That'll be the easiest $100 I ever made! You're going to get SMOKED in more ways that one!
Me: Okay, well you let me know when you want to line up. Should be like taking candy from a baby, right?
Him: Well even if your truck is faster, mine will out tow yours any day.
Me: How so?
Him: That's common knowledge. Everybody knows the Cummins will out tow anything on the road.
Me: Again, how so, specially.
Him: Mine has way more low end torque so I can tow a heavier load up steeper hills and use way less fuel than you.
Me: How much more torque and how much less fuel?
Him: More than double the torque, and that's on my stock tune. I bet I use half the fuel you do towing the same load.
Me: I'm sure it does. Congratulations again.
Him: By the way, I got 26 miles per gallon on a 7 hour road trip from Michigan to Kentucky driving 75 miles per hour the whole time. Let's see your import motor Duramax junk do that!!!!
Me: I just can't compete with that. Your truck is absolutely amazing. I'm so envious. Did you know that Duramaxes are made in Ohio?
Him: What?
Me: Yes, they are made in Moraine, Ohio.
Him: Doesn't matter, they were designed by Isuzu. Japanese junk!
Me: Its actually a partnership between GM and Isuzu. Isuzu and GM have been partners for years. Isuzu designed the architecture and GM designed the electronics. And last time I checked, the Japanese have a pretty damn good reputation about the engines they design.
Him: Rice burning JUNK!
Me: I'll ask again..... how specifically are they junk?
Him: Common knowledge man, everybody knows that.
Me: Ugh, I think we need to get back to work now. You can just walk. I wouldn't want you to have to ride in my junk again.
I just started working a new place a week ago. Day #1 within 10 minutes of being there, this guys jumps on me and starts telling me how great is Megacab is. I just keep quiet. Then he starts telling me what a piece of shit my Duramax is. I keep quiet again. After 8 days of him telling everybody we go to lunch with what a problematic pile of shit my "rice-burning import engine" is, I finally call him out and ask him what specifically is so shitty about my truck.
Me: So what specifically is so shitty about my truck that makes you feel the need to trash on it every day?
Him: Well, uh, um, they have injector problems.
Me: Yes, the LB7 did. I told you that yesterday. What else.
Him: Well, um, my uncle works for a place that he said that his friend told him that all the Duramaxes have all these problems
Me: Name one.
Him: Well, I don't know specifically, so I'll have to look into it and get back to you.
Me: That's what I thought. You're such a hypocrite. You have no clue what you're talking about.
Him. It doesn't matter what a piece of shit your truck is, everybody knows Cummins are the best motors ever built. 6 in a row, built to tow! Pistons the size of coffee cans! Good for a million miles easy!
Me: Congratulations.
Him: I ordered my Smarty today. I can't wait to ROLL SOME COAL all over the place when it gets here. Its going to be AWESOME. I'm going to blow your ass away when we race. I know a good road not far from here we can race.
Me: I didn't realize we were racing. I never said my truck was fast. 14.1@ 93 MPH with a 80HP tune. I said that's not bad for a 7,000# truck. But okay, we can race it it will make you happy. How fast do you think your truck will be (its a stick shift ) with your Smarty cranked all the way up?
Him: Should be in the 11s easy.
Me: 11s, huh? I'll put $100 on that.
Him: That'll be the easiest $100 I ever made! You're going to get SMOKED in more ways that one!
Me: Okay, well you let me know when you want to line up. Should be like taking candy from a baby, right?
Him: Well even if your truck is faster, mine will out tow yours any day.
Me: How so?
Him: That's common knowledge. Everybody knows the Cummins will out tow anything on the road.
Me: Again, how so, specially.
Him: Mine has way more low end torque so I can tow a heavier load up steeper hills and use way less fuel than you.
Me: How much more torque and how much less fuel?
Him: More than double the torque, and that's on my stock tune. I bet I use half the fuel you do towing the same load.
Me: I'm sure it does. Congratulations again.
Him: By the way, I got 26 miles per gallon on a 7 hour road trip from Michigan to Kentucky driving 75 miles per hour the whole time. Let's see your import motor Duramax junk do that!!!!
Me: I just can't compete with that. Your truck is absolutely amazing. I'm so envious. Did you know that Duramaxes are made in Ohio?
Him: What?
Me: Yes, they are made in Moraine, Ohio.
Him: Doesn't matter, they were designed by Isuzu. Japanese junk!
Me: Its actually a partnership between GM and Isuzu. Isuzu and GM have been partners for years. Isuzu designed the architecture and GM designed the electronics. And last time I checked, the Japanese have a pretty damn good reputation about the engines they design.
Him: Rice burning JUNK!
Me: I'll ask again..... how specifically are they junk?
Him: Common knowledge man, everybody knows that.
Me: Ugh, I think we need to get back to work now. You can just walk. I wouldn't want you to have to ride in my junk again.