On another fine eve of a 4th of July celebration, I think it is time to answer all of the "big" issues that face everyday, honest, hardworking Americans and everyone else:
1) Gays?- Yes, it happens. No, you don't have to follow along. Shut up about the bible, If your an American citizen then the fact that the bible condemns it has zero bearing what so ever; Welcome to America dumbasses! If your world will be completely FUBAR'd cause you Might see a gay dude or chick then please refer to the Steps of Handling World Collapse*
2) Gun Control?- Yes, gun control is necessary. Do you really want the crazy cat lady next door having a gun? Or the Jesus freak on the corner of the road holding the God loves you sign pulling out a 9 cause your wearing freaking teal on a Tuesday afternoon at 3:57 pm and that somehow causes the world to sin? Is more better? Well, take about 3 full bottles of sleeping pills and let us know if more is better
3) Immigration?- Yep, this happens too. America was built on it, it's cool. No, not everyone should be allowed in, those that do need to go through a mandatory year in kindergarten so they can learn to play with others. What? Oh everyone is an Immigrant, and the white devil stole the country from some Indians!
No, please open mouth and insert foot. America was not a country when the white devils (and yellow probably some black, hey we were diversified back then) found it. It was a random big ass piece of land that was inhabited sparsely by people that believed wearing a thong and dancing would make it rain (well I guess it does now though, just depends on what kinda club your in...go figure?)
4) Marijuana? Refer to #1, replace gays refernece with pot. It's pretty much the same. Just tax the shit out of it like tobacco. Then we can all go on welfare and not bother looking for a job and have kids cause the gov'ment will pay for it.....I wonder if I could get WIC and food stamps because I hurt my pinky writing this?
If you have not been offended by the aforementioned big issues, then please give yourself a big hug because you either didn't read it or have a really good sense of humor and are laughing your ass off right now. Happy 4th!
Step #1- Get a Helmet
Step #2- Put on the Helmet