Not too long ago, in another thread, some of our fine forum members proclaimed the magic healing powers of adding sawdust to a failing transmission. I proclaimed bullshit and was promptly told I don't know anything about ghetto transmission repair. Some even questioned my sexual orientation proclaiming I prefer the company of gentlemen. Well, now is the time take me to school. I have in my possession a 1992 Pontiac Bonneville with transmission issues. first and reverse are OK, but it slips pretty bad in the rest of the gears. The transmission fluid is black. This seems like a very good candidate for Uncle Jim-Bob's Powdered Transmission Cure All.
So now I present to you:
Nugget's Great Transmission Challenge
I challenge anybody willing to travel to my shop in Auburn to get this Boneyville transmission operational again using your favorite flavor of sawdust. I will document the proceedings on video and present said video to this site for everyone's abusement.
1) Only sawdust can be used. Type,volume, and particle size is your choice and you have to provide your own. Nothing else can be added or drained from transmission.
2) No pleasuring yourself in the shop restroom. Jerking off in the compressor room is acceptable.
To be considered a successful repair, the car must shift through all four gears and survive a 20 mile combination city/highway drive with several stops and shut downs. The transmissions does not have to shift "like new" but well enough to fool a person that does not know the transmission needs to be replaced.
If a person is successful at meeting my challenge, I will, on video, admit their superior knowledge of incorrect ways to repair a transmission. I will then look in to the camera and say ANYTHING they want me to with the exception of peoples' mothers or fucked in the head religious groups. We will then enjoy some pizza and crafted beers (or domestic piss water if they insist) on my dime. However, should the person fail my challenge, they will be required to admit their failure and then (tongue in cheek) proclaim they are not worthy of being in the presence of my vast automotive knowledge. After that, we will enjoy some pizza and beers on their dime.
So this is the challenge I present. Should you accept, bring some friends and I'll try to get a few of mine over for some social interaction. Let's have some fun with this.