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Old April 9th, 2008, 05:27 PM   #1
IDIeselman
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Default A couple jokes for your pleasure

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up
and said,
'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to
heaven?'
Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.
I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh.
I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.
She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the
problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring,
so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.
The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'
The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'
The minister fainted.


The train Ride:


The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length
looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well
dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular,
'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was
under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.' She
snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down. The woman shrieked,
'Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!'
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans
often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the
wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road and now, sir,
you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window
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