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Whats your story?

4K views 76 replies 45 participants last post by  Dirty Ridin 1 
#1 ·
Who has the best "poop" story?

A friend at work told me this one. He had gone to Lowe's to get some stuff. anyways he hates public restrooms and needed to go bad so he said fuck it and headed to the rear of the store. upon arriving there he pushed open a stall door to see if it was clean... it wasn't. as he started to turn to walk away his mind caught hold of what it just saw. he said it was the biggest turd he had ever seen. it had to 3-4" in diameter and a good foot long! he said it laid in the bowl like a wet roll of paper towel. just as he was about to walk away and use the next stall he said to himself what the hell! ..he reached up with his foot and hit the lever to flush it. now mind you this is Lowe's. good heavy duty plumbing...it wouldn't budge. the turd had the staying power of a cinder block. he said he laughed as he went away thinking of the poor bastard that had to clean the can that night.
 
#63 ·
I worked as a night janitor in a burger king when I was a teenager, the womens bathroom was far more disgusting than the mens.

a nieghbor living on my street in a rental house had raw sewage spraying out of the shower drain, while his wife was taking a shower, they had 3 rotorooter trucks, the big ones, there on superbowl sunday,

before they built a new facility I used to work at the old facility across from the old paper mill on alcott st, occasinally, about once a month, the sewers would back up and sewage would run out of the bathrooms an inch or 2 deep
 
#4 ·
At least it was in the toilet. I work at Lowe's in Westland and it is insane what people do to the stalls, luckily I don't have to clean because we finally got a janitor.

But some cases, someone would smear poo all over the wall (I don't know how, who would touch shit with their hands purposely).
Another one was a long turd on the toilet seat; it must take some talent to just get it curved around on the seat.
And the last one was a trail of diarrhea all the way to the restroom and then whoever it was, tossed their dirty undies into the trash can.
 
#8 ·
I took my boss's shoe in the outhouse at work and shit in his shoe and put it back in his truck

Later that day he found it and tried to throw it at me when I was up on a ladder.

he missed and hit my buddy standing on the ladder next to me .

It was funny stuff .
 
#12 ·
years ago I worked in a trailer factory, the plant manager was amish he was OCD about picking up change off the ground...like if he saw a penny he would spend 10 minutes looking at the floor for more. One day I had the bright idea to wipe my ass with a dollar bill and drop it on the floor outside of his office (right next to the shitter) needless to say the anticipation was debilitating. I was able to keep a good eye on the shitty dollar bill bait from my work station...a good enough eye that I could see one of the office girls pick it up and stick it into her pocket. My only regret after these 15 some years later is that I didn't get to see the expression on her skank ass face when she unfolded it and saw the chocolate pudding suprise.
 
#13 ·
Happened about and hour ago, one of our labs ate dogshit outside, and puked it up in the house!! The doors are still open trying to air out the house.


And I'll second the terrors of the womans bathroom at Kmart. Couple of times I refused to clean it up!!
 
#17 ·
hahahahhaha

When I just got my aussie, my brother watched her for a weekend when I was out of town. She was still being crated at the time, so when my bro and his gf went to dinner they put her in her cage.

Well they came home to crap on the floor, the walls AND the ceiling. Yes, my dog shat on the ceiling of their house.

Then they figured out that she had gotten into some charcoal from one of the grills on the deck..

Charcoal + dog = crap on the ceiling.
 
#18 ·
Last shop I worked for, one of the women dropped her cell phone in the crapper, just as she flushed. Plugged it up real good. Had to remove the toilet and blast it out with a pressure washer. Shipping clerk wanted to know if it was a camera phone, he was hoping it took a pic of her ass on the way down...... (In his defense, she did have a nice ass....)
 
#19 ·
My best (worst) "poop" story is at work. Workin at a prison with mentally ill prisoners.. The sickest thing, which suprisingly happens quite often, is when one of the idiots poop and then stand there and eat it. That is a pretty common occurance.. also spreading it all over their cell is pretty common. ICK. ICK. ICK.
 
#26 ·
After a night of PBR drinking I start driving to work, I was driving my Jeep at the time. I get about half way between work and home when I feel a "fart" comming on. So I release with great effort, then become instantly horrified when the realization sets in that there was no gas at all. Needless to say I was an hour late, destroyed a pair of shorts, jeans and the drivers seat in my Jeep.
 
#29 ·
I was on lunch at BK with a co-worker. I came out of the bathroom and walked to the line. It was quiet and everyone had a weird look on their faces. I said what smells like shit, everyone lost it. Except the two high schoolers with mops. Apparently when I was in the bathroom a bigger gal with white stretchy shorts came running in shitting herself and all over the floor. She didn't come out the whole time we were there. The place smelled horrible.
 
#30 ·
about 5 years ago, I did pest control so I had to drive all over Oakland and Macomb counties and spray for Mosquitoes and Bees. I was out in the boondocks by myself and felt it coming on pretty strong. I had to drop my gear and high-tail it into the woods to take care of business, luckily no one was home! I had to bury my knit cap and boxers in the dirt as they were both ruined. Not a fun day!
 
#31 ·
i was driving down a fairly busy back road (CR 29) about 9:00 one morning when i saw a beat up old Taurus wagon sitting at a stop sign, there wasn't anyone in the car so i turned to look as i passed to see what the deal was and i saw a man, with his pants around his ankles standing with his back to the road drop a turd. i was shocked to say the least. i guess he could'nt wait to get to a bathroom but i would've either shit my pants or walked across the road into the woods to do my business if it was that much of an emergency. thanks Yetti for bring up that suppressed memory.
 
#33 ·
At work (retail) and a older gentleman comes in with what appeared to be his sons. A guy was waiting on the group when the old man and one of the other guys asked to use the restroom. No problem as he was pointed in the direction. A bit of time passes and we finished waiting on the son left at the counter and he heads out the door. Shortly afterward the man and son vacate the bathroom and head for the car. About this time someone says, what smells like shit. Upon walking around the other side of the counter there it is......a large pile of shit right where the guy was standing......and a trail of shitty remnants straight to the bathroom.
We all feared what we would find in there but someone had to go. So one of the guys headed in and witnessed the horror that was.....shit spread wall to wall, on the toilet seat, tank, handicap rail, sink, floor, TP dispenser, hand towel dispenser.....the shit was everywhere.
 
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